Mum talking about her day.
It is quite quiet, sorry. Let me know if this works ok.
Thanks.
OH! Btw.... you need to click on Recording above...
Doh!
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Ok that didn't work very well. Free hosting apparently means we will include adverts for Tarot readings etc.
Bear with me. I will not be beaten.
Thursday, 20 October 2011
Day Centre
Well what a difference a few weeks of distress makes.
This morning I took the decision not to tell her from the get-go that she was going to the day centre after her reaction last night. I took her tea and tablets as usual.
I don't know what I've been doing all night.
You've been sleeping
Well that's terrible!
As I was ringing Will to wish him a happy 20th birthday (I demand a recount, that's just ridiculous) she was in the bathroom like a flash and for the first time in months started the shower going without any trouble. Well, apart from running it at a slow trickle and having the temperature at scald that is. So shower done and breakfast eaten, I let her sit with a coffee until about 10 minutes before the bus was due then casually hellped her to put her coat on.
Where am I going?
To the day centre.
Oh ok. Have I been there before?
And when the bus arrived she went off quite happily with the driver.
I spent the day hoovering, dusting, making up a bed for my brother, going to Tesco for Betsy etc. Oh and a bit of reading and loafing thrown in for good measure.
On her return she was perfectly fine although clearly and understandably tired. She's eaten all her tea (ham sandwich, piece of fruit cake, banana) and told me all about her day. As an experiement I recorded a bit of the conversation but can't work out how to upload it on to here. If anyone knows how to insert a sound file on here, could you let me know please?
There was something else I was going to put in here but can't just remember what it was. So there's a good chance that there'll be a bit of an update later.
This morning I took the decision not to tell her from the get-go that she was going to the day centre after her reaction last night. I took her tea and tablets as usual.
I don't know what I've been doing all night.
You've been sleeping
Well that's terrible!
As I was ringing Will to wish him a happy 20th birthday (I demand a recount, that's just ridiculous) she was in the bathroom like a flash and for the first time in months started the shower going without any trouble. Well, apart from running it at a slow trickle and having the temperature at scald that is. So shower done and breakfast eaten, I let her sit with a coffee until about 10 minutes before the bus was due then casually hellped her to put her coat on.
Where am I going?
To the day centre.
Oh ok. Have I been there before?
And when the bus arrived she went off quite happily with the driver.
I spent the day hoovering, dusting, making up a bed for my brother, going to Tesco for Betsy etc. Oh and a bit of reading and loafing thrown in for good measure.
On her return she was perfectly fine although clearly and understandably tired. She's eaten all her tea (ham sandwich, piece of fruit cake, banana) and told me all about her day. As an experiement I recorded a bit of the conversation but can't work out how to upload it on to here. If anyone knows how to insert a sound file on here, could you let me know please?
There was something else I was going to put in here but can't just remember what it was. So there's a good chance that there'll be a bit of an update later.
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
A much calmer day
A much calmer day today. She's been fairly stable with hardly any moods apart from just now when the day centre was mentioned. Suddenly she is 'very ill' and in tears. When I said she had a really good time last week, naturally she disagreed with me. It may come to a Mexican standoff in the morning, but she's going even if I have to lift her on the bus myself.
I've made rissoles for tea at her request but from the body language being displayed I would hazard a guess that they won't be eaten!
The biggest tooth grinder today has been the continual dialogue about when Peter is coming. She asks roughtly every ten minutes. The other thing has been confusion over the television. I had to turn it off at one point because she was getting distressed by the Injury Lawyers 4 You advert (I did make a joke on Twitter about crap adverts upsetting me too) but then she didn't know what to do with herself. Baking was refused. Handbag sorting vetoed. Jigsaw and photos rebuffed. So after a while she asked for the tv to go on again. All was fine until she started getting distressed again. This time because we weren't bidding for items on Dickinson's Real Deal.. It was easier just to say that nothing was worth the money they were asking. Not entirely untrue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More in a bit hopefully. Just about to insert rissoles. Where is entirely up to her...
Well she wolfed down her tea - one rissole and some mashed parrot. I must admit that despite my reluctance to have rissoles they were rather nice. I used leftover breast of lamb from the Simon Hopkinson lamb with onions recipe from the other night, added some bread crumbs, an egg, fresh parsley and mint and a couple of large dollops of the leftover onions from the same recipe. Coated in seasoned flour and fried until brown and crisp.
Really very nice indeed. Nothing like the charred sweaty tasting things I remember... Funny that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Goodness me, it's a quarter past seven! Are you going to bed now Ma?
Oh no, it's still too early.
SFX *jaw crashes to floor*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh you're in your pyjamas!
Yep, I'll be going to sit upstairs on the laptop when you've gone to bed.
Are you going to bed?
Nope.
Are you going to the shop?
Nope. I'm in my pyjamas..?
Oh are you? I hadn't noticed.
I've made rissoles for tea at her request but from the body language being displayed I would hazard a guess that they won't be eaten!
The biggest tooth grinder today has been the continual dialogue about when Peter is coming. She asks roughtly every ten minutes. The other thing has been confusion over the television. I had to turn it off at one point because she was getting distressed by the Injury Lawyers 4 You advert (I did make a joke on Twitter about crap adverts upsetting me too) but then she didn't know what to do with herself. Baking was refused. Handbag sorting vetoed. Jigsaw and photos rebuffed. So after a while she asked for the tv to go on again. All was fine until she started getting distressed again. This time because we weren't bidding for items on Dickinson's Real Deal.. It was easier just to say that nothing was worth the money they were asking. Not entirely untrue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More in a bit hopefully. Just about to insert rissoles. Where is entirely up to her...
Well she wolfed down her tea - one rissole and some mashed parrot. I must admit that despite my reluctance to have rissoles they were rather nice. I used leftover breast of lamb from the Simon Hopkinson lamb with onions recipe from the other night, added some bread crumbs, an egg, fresh parsley and mint and a couple of large dollops of the leftover onions from the same recipe. Coated in seasoned flour and fried until brown and crisp.
Really very nice indeed. Nothing like the charred sweaty tasting things I remember... Funny that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Goodness me, it's a quarter past seven! Are you going to bed now Ma?
Oh no, it's still too early.
SFX *jaw crashes to floor*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh you're in your pyjamas!
Yep, I'll be going to sit upstairs on the laptop when you've gone to bed.
Are you going to bed?
Nope.
Are you going to the shop?
Nope. I'm in my pyjamas..?
Oh are you? I hadn't noticed.
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
On being a full-time carer
No one will be surprised at me saying that being a full-time carer is demanding. Of course it is. Looking after someone else's welfare 24 hours a day, 7 days a week is incredibly hard work. Ask any parent.
Caring for an adult who is no longer able to make informed decisions or keep themselves safe is doubly difficult because they believe that they can still make those decisions and do not take kindly to being guided, helped or often prevented from doing so. Do not become a carer for someone with dementia if you can't take the insults, rage, dislike, hate, physical violence and selfishness along with the smiles and the fun times. Also remember that you will have to help with personal hygiene at every level from nose blowing to bottom wiping. And do all this on continual broken sleep. Even babies sleep for a decent length of time eventually.
I've just spent a couple of hours being told I'm nasty, uncaring and selfish. Had to endure rage, tears, sobbing, blame and dismissal. Babies believe the world revolves around them, trust me they have nothing on a dementia sufferer. I've been awake since 3am due to her sitting in the hall in her coat, constantly trying to telephone her friend Mavis. The phone will be unplugged tonight. It won't stop her doing it, but at least she won't set off the pager every ten minutes.
Everyone tells you it isn't personal, it isn't the person you know or knew, it is the disease. And I'm sure this is quite true. But let me tell you that it is bloody impossible not to take things personally and to be hurt and overwhelmingly upset at times. I'm only human.
I've written this at a moment of extreme distress and will probably be overcome with remorse in a while and delete it. Writing it down with force and speed helps (although the keyboard may not agree) and I shall now go and make a cup of tea.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've had a lot of messages of support from people, thank you so much. I've been asked by quite a few not to delete this post, so I won't. The silly thing is, I had an absolutely lovely email yesterday from an old friend saying how much they enjoy reading the blog etc. and now I feel as though I've let everyone down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's up Mum?
I'm scared
Why are you scared?
I'm scared about what will happen when you leave.
I'm not leaving, don't worry.
Ok I won't then. When is Peter coming?
On Friday.
*
*
*
What time are you going?
I'm not going anywhere.
What time is Peter getting here?
*
*
*
Will you drop me off on the way?
I'm not going anywhere.
Oh. I thought you were. Has Peter gone out?
He's not here until Friday...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caring for an adult who is no longer able to make informed decisions or keep themselves safe is doubly difficult because they believe that they can still make those decisions and do not take kindly to being guided, helped or often prevented from doing so. Do not become a carer for someone with dementia if you can't take the insults, rage, dislike, hate, physical violence and selfishness along with the smiles and the fun times. Also remember that you will have to help with personal hygiene at every level from nose blowing to bottom wiping. And do all this on continual broken sleep. Even babies sleep for a decent length of time eventually.
I've just spent a couple of hours being told I'm nasty, uncaring and selfish. Had to endure rage, tears, sobbing, blame and dismissal. Babies believe the world revolves around them, trust me they have nothing on a dementia sufferer. I've been awake since 3am due to her sitting in the hall in her coat, constantly trying to telephone her friend Mavis. The phone will be unplugged tonight. It won't stop her doing it, but at least she won't set off the pager every ten minutes.
Everyone tells you it isn't personal, it isn't the person you know or knew, it is the disease. And I'm sure this is quite true. But let me tell you that it is bloody impossible not to take things personally and to be hurt and overwhelmingly upset at times. I'm only human.
I've written this at a moment of extreme distress and will probably be overcome with remorse in a while and delete it. Writing it down with force and speed helps (although the keyboard may not agree) and I shall now go and make a cup of tea.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've had a lot of messages of support from people, thank you so much. I've been asked by quite a few not to delete this post, so I won't. The silly thing is, I had an absolutely lovely email yesterday from an old friend saying how much they enjoy reading the blog etc. and now I feel as though I've let everyone down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's up Mum?
I'm scared
Why are you scared?
I'm scared about what will happen when you leave.
I'm not leaving, don't worry.
Ok I won't then. When is Peter coming?
On Friday.
*
*
*
What time are you going?
I'm not going anywhere.
What time is Peter getting here?
*
*
*
Will you drop me off on the way?
I'm not going anywhere.
Oh. I thought you were. Has Peter gone out?
He's not here until Friday...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, 17 October 2011
Oh blimey...
Ma has been ok today, up very early trying to ring Mavis as usual but otherwise ok. As I had another trip to the GP this morning she got her wish and spent an hour with Mave, although she did have to sit in her coat for two hours before we set off.
When we got back I got the Dyson out and Ma offered her help. I suggested she dusted around so she went and pulled a mountain of handbags out of the wardrobe and looked through them all.
This afternoon the plumber came to fix a slow leak on the loo upstairs.
He's just returned to stop the flood which is pouring through the light fitting in the kitchen...
Very stormy here at the moment so there's also a flood in the porch. *feels a bit beleaguered*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A bit more proud mummy moment. If you've already seen these on Facebook, I apologise.
When we got back I got the Dyson out and Ma offered her help. I suggested she dusted around so she went and pulled a mountain of handbags out of the wardrobe and looked through them all.
This afternoon the plumber came to fix a slow leak on the loo upstairs.
He's just returned to stop the flood which is pouring through the light fitting in the kitchen...
Very stormy here at the moment so there's also a flood in the porch. *feels a bit beleaguered*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A bit more proud mummy moment. If you've already seen these on Facebook, I apologise.
 |
| She calls her graphics tablet Patrick. Nope I don't know why. |
 |
| How cute is this?? |
 |
| Such a lovely little animation |
 |
| And she did one of me :) *note the glasses and pearl earrings* |
 |
| What a difference a year makes. |
Sunday, 16 October 2011
Weekend again
Yesterday was relatively quiet. Ma spent an hour or so with Mavis yesterday afternoon but other than that is was the usual mix of asking me when people were arriving (Peter, Simon, Jo and Ian, David and Glenys, Jane... ), tears, bad moods and fluffiness.
This morning started just after 5am when the pager went off on the phone. When this happens it means Ma is pressing buttons on the answerphone base trying to phone someone. It also wakes me up pretty quickly. She was trying to ring Mavis and this really should've warned me.
I helped her back into bed and went to toss and turn for an hour or so before giving up, getting up and making a cup of tea and organising Ma's morning tablets (originally put Ma's morning meds but it sounded far too Roald Dahl). She kept her eyes shut and refused to acknowledge me so I left everything on the bedside table and went back upstairs to have a shower and get dressed.
When I came down again Ma was nowhere to be seen. I always keep the doors locked these days and keep the front door key with me so she hadn't gone out that way. She had, however, managed to find the key to the patio door in the kitchen, unlock it and go out into the garden. Then open the side gate and get out. I shot back into the house to grab my car keys and phone and was just unlocking the door when the bell went. It was Seth from next door with Ma in pjs, a coat, one sock and one shoe. Soaked wet through from the drizzle. As soon as she saw me she started sobbing to Seth that I had been shouting at her all night etc.
I popped her in the shower to warm her up ignoring the suicide threats and she is now warm and dry, dressed, under her heated throw in the living room eating strawberries and cream porridge and watching the Emmerdale omnibus.
And my heart rate is nearly back to normal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Simon Hopkinson's breast of lamb with onions today I think. If you haven't tried it I can highly recommend it. We shall have it with plain boiled potatoes, fresh mint, parsley and coriander sauce and probably carrots. Delicious.
(So delicious Ma had a battered fish fillet in a sandwich. Oh well more for me.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had a trip to B&Q this afternoon to get a couple of padlocks. I thought a trip in the car and a spot of shopping would provide a bit of a distraction for Ma. Ah well. She refused to get out of the car and go into the shop with me and she hated the trip home because she couldn't work out where she was.
So here's a challenge. Everything you read about coping with dementia says that you should distract not disagree or argue. I would love some suggestions for distracting her. She doesn't like the tv any longer, it's too confusing. She doesn't like listening to music or the radio, looking at old photographs or doing simple jigsaws. Since the other day she hates going anywhere far (ie more than a mile or so) in the car. She isn't artistic and would think I'd lost my marbles if I got out paint and paper!
I thought I might try doing a bit of baking with her. The worst that could happen is we end up throwing away a few pennies worth of ingredients. Muffins are easy, quick and very satisfying to make without needing any skills at all other than the ability to stir. And she might even eat the results!
Anything we do has to be fairly fuss free and not take more than half an hour at the absolute most.
This morning started just after 5am when the pager went off on the phone. When this happens it means Ma is pressing buttons on the answerphone base trying to phone someone. It also wakes me up pretty quickly. She was trying to ring Mavis and this really should've warned me.
I helped her back into bed and went to toss and turn for an hour or so before giving up, getting up and making a cup of tea and organising Ma's morning tablets (originally put Ma's morning meds but it sounded far too Roald Dahl). She kept her eyes shut and refused to acknowledge me so I left everything on the bedside table and went back upstairs to have a shower and get dressed.
When I came down again Ma was nowhere to be seen. I always keep the doors locked these days and keep the front door key with me so she hadn't gone out that way. She had, however, managed to find the key to the patio door in the kitchen, unlock it and go out into the garden. Then open the side gate and get out. I shot back into the house to grab my car keys and phone and was just unlocking the door when the bell went. It was Seth from next door with Ma in pjs, a coat, one sock and one shoe. Soaked wet through from the drizzle. As soon as she saw me she started sobbing to Seth that I had been shouting at her all night etc.
I popped her in the shower to warm her up ignoring the suicide threats and she is now warm and dry, dressed, under her heated throw in the living room eating strawberries and cream porridge and watching the Emmerdale omnibus.
And my heart rate is nearly back to normal.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Simon Hopkinson's breast of lamb with onions today I think. If you haven't tried it I can highly recommend it. We shall have it with plain boiled potatoes, fresh mint, parsley and coriander sauce and probably carrots. Delicious.
(So delicious Ma had a battered fish fillet in a sandwich. Oh well more for me.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had a trip to B&Q this afternoon to get a couple of padlocks. I thought a trip in the car and a spot of shopping would provide a bit of a distraction for Ma. Ah well. She refused to get out of the car and go into the shop with me and she hated the trip home because she couldn't work out where she was.
So here's a challenge. Everything you read about coping with dementia says that you should distract not disagree or argue. I would love some suggestions for distracting her. She doesn't like the tv any longer, it's too confusing. She doesn't like listening to music or the radio, looking at old photographs or doing simple jigsaws. Since the other day she hates going anywhere far (ie more than a mile or so) in the car. She isn't artistic and would think I'd lost my marbles if I got out paint and paper!
I thought I might try doing a bit of baking with her. The worst that could happen is we end up throwing away a few pennies worth of ingredients. Muffins are easy, quick and very satisfying to make without needing any skills at all other than the ability to stir. And she might even eat the results!
Anything we do has to be fairly fuss free and not take more than half an hour at the absolute most.
Friday, 14 October 2011
Fasting Friday
Fasting blood test for Ma this morning, so no breakfast or tea beforehand obviously. I explained this to her and she pointed out that she's had many of them in the past, she knew what to do and she didn't want any breakfast anyway thank you.
Slight schoolboy error.
I forgot to check for Celebrations in her pillowcase.
Luckily I heard the rustle of wrappers being surreptitiously removed... since this was for fasting blood sugar levels.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the last few weeks Ma has been asking about going to see Jo and Ian, very old friends, who live in Billinge. So this week I arranged for us to go and see them this afternoon. I warned them that Ma would be unlikely to want to stay for more than an hour at most and that we'd only come for a cup of tea and said we'd be there at about 2pm.
Everything was fine as we set off. We stopped at Tesco for diesel then got on the motorway. Ma did her usual - reading every single road sign we passed and thinking we should be coming off at every junction. Things started to go wrong as soon as we got onto the East Lancs road. She gradually started dry sobbing and rubbing her face and talking too herself but too quietly for me to hear what she was saying. Eventually, after repeated questioning, she told me that she wanted to go home. When I pointed out that we were very nearly there she said that she didn't know where she was, she was frightened and she wanted to go home.
So we went around the next roundabout and came home again.
I could have carried on and made her go but I don't think it would have been a good idea, she was in a terrible state. Apart from anything else, it's really distracting and difficult to drive on fast roads with that going on next to you.
What is odd though is that she can read road signs but can't, for example, read the address book or labels on food. Especially when you consider that road signs need to be read fairly quickly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now battling to keep her out of bed until a reasonable time. I reckon if we make it to half six it will be a miracle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't feed the dog from your plate please
I didn't
Erm... I'm sitting opposite you.... this means I saw it happen
I didn't
I saw you!
Oh well, she took it off me. I didn't give it to her.
(this reminds me of one of the boys aged about 5: Stop jumping in your bedroom!! I'm not jumping. I'm hopping...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eating fish pie.
Ew this is a bit tough *removes king prawn from mouth*
Would you like it?
Slight schoolboy error.
I forgot to check for Celebrations in her pillowcase.
Luckily I heard the rustle of wrappers being surreptitiously removed... since this was for fasting blood sugar levels.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the last few weeks Ma has been asking about going to see Jo and Ian, very old friends, who live in Billinge. So this week I arranged for us to go and see them this afternoon. I warned them that Ma would be unlikely to want to stay for more than an hour at most and that we'd only come for a cup of tea and said we'd be there at about 2pm.
Everything was fine as we set off. We stopped at Tesco for diesel then got on the motorway. Ma did her usual - reading every single road sign we passed and thinking we should be coming off at every junction. Things started to go wrong as soon as we got onto the East Lancs road. She gradually started dry sobbing and rubbing her face and talking too herself but too quietly for me to hear what she was saying. Eventually, after repeated questioning, she told me that she wanted to go home. When I pointed out that we were very nearly there she said that she didn't know where she was, she was frightened and she wanted to go home.
So we went around the next roundabout and came home again.
I could have carried on and made her go but I don't think it would have been a good idea, she was in a terrible state. Apart from anything else, it's really distracting and difficult to drive on fast roads with that going on next to you.
What is odd though is that she can read road signs but can't, for example, read the address book or labels on food. Especially when you consider that road signs need to be read fairly quickly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now battling to keep her out of bed until a reasonable time. I reckon if we make it to half six it will be a miracle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't feed the dog from your plate please
I didn't
Erm... I'm sitting opposite you.... this means I saw it happen
I didn't
I saw you!
Oh well, she took it off me. I didn't give it to her.
(this reminds me of one of the boys aged about 5: Stop jumping in your bedroom!! I'm not jumping. I'm hopping...)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eating fish pie.
Ew this is a bit tough *removes king prawn from mouth*
Would you like it?
Thursday, 13 October 2011
Wednesday Woes
Yesterday was a very tough day, Ma just couldn't understand how ill I felt and it was exhausting. Plus, feeling so ill conversation was an effort so I was a bit quiet. This meant Ma filled every possible second with talk. It's a challenge at the best of times to follow a 12 hour conversation which has no start, middle, end, recognisable subject matter or direction without adding raging nausea and back pain.
Here's your breakfast/lunch/tea
Aren't you eating?
No Ma I'm not feeling well
STILL??!?
~~~~~~~~
Go and have a lie down
No it's ok
Go and lie down, I'll be ok
Oh alright then (desperate)
*5 mins later*
Hellooo?? Are you there?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Night Ma I hope you manage to stay in bed all night tonight
Of course I will, I always do!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just woken up after a full night of sleep with no interruptions. I feel like I've won the lottery.
'Thursday Club' today. I have mentioned it a couple of times during the week and the bad press is very gradually getting less and less. She didn't react at all when I said she would be going today. However, I've yet to mention it this morning. Just having a cup of tea in the sanctuary before tackling that one.
*
*
*
Where am I going today?
To the Thursday Club. At the day centre.
Oh that sounds nice, I've not been before have I?
Yes you've been twice. The bus will be picking you up soon.
Will it bring me back again?
Yes of course!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
30 minutes ago:
I don't want to go to that place!
It'll be fine mum, you'll get to meet some new people and have some time away from me. You have your lunch and then you come home. It'll be fine.
Where's my mother. She wouldn't send me there. Your father wouldnt do this to me. Where's Peter?
*sobbing, coughing, retching*
Etc.
She's just left.
Remember last week when the bus driver arrived? ('Oh hello, I remember you. You're nice.'?) This morning... 'Oh God it's that awful man...'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you bloody believe it?? She arrived home with a smile on her face. As she came down the drive arm in arm with Lee (driver) she trilled 'Hello darling I've had an absolutely smashing day'. She then proceeded to eat all of her tea (cheese and pickle sandwich, almond slice and a pear) while she told me all about her day. I would repeat it here but frankly, it didn't make a lot of sense.
I am beyond delighted that she's had a good day. I hope all the excitement means that she will sleep but I know that sometimes it has completely the opposite effect and I could be in for a busy night.
However, now I have something positive to remind her about next week when she doesn't want to go.
A very successful day, eventually :)
Here's your breakfast/lunch/tea
Aren't you eating?
No Ma I'm not feeling well
STILL??!?
~~~~~~~~
Go and have a lie down
No it's ok
Go and lie down, I'll be ok
Oh alright then (desperate)
*5 mins later*
Hellooo?? Are you there?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Night Ma I hope you manage to stay in bed all night tonight
Of course I will, I always do!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just woken up after a full night of sleep with no interruptions. I feel like I've won the lottery.
'Thursday Club' today. I have mentioned it a couple of times during the week and the bad press is very gradually getting less and less. She didn't react at all when I said she would be going today. However, I've yet to mention it this morning. Just having a cup of tea in the sanctuary before tackling that one.
*
*
*
Where am I going today?
To the Thursday Club. At the day centre.
Oh that sounds nice, I've not been before have I?
Yes you've been twice. The bus will be picking you up soon.
Will it bring me back again?
Yes of course!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
30 minutes ago:
I don't want to go to that place!
It'll be fine mum, you'll get to meet some new people and have some time away from me. You have your lunch and then you come home. It'll be fine.
Where's my mother. She wouldn't send me there. Your father wouldnt do this to me. Where's Peter?
*sobbing, coughing, retching*
Etc.
She's just left.
Remember last week when the bus driver arrived? ('Oh hello, I remember you. You're nice.'?) This morning... 'Oh God it's that awful man...'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you bloody believe it?? She arrived home with a smile on her face. As she came down the drive arm in arm with Lee (driver) she trilled 'Hello darling I've had an absolutely smashing day'. She then proceeded to eat all of her tea (cheese and pickle sandwich, almond slice and a pear) while she told me all about her day. I would repeat it here but frankly, it didn't make a lot of sense.
I am beyond delighted that she's had a good day. I hope all the excitement means that she will sleep but I know that sometimes it has completely the opposite effect and I could be in for a busy night.
However, now I have something positive to remind her about next week when she doesn't want to go.
A very successful day, eventually :)
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
The Carer's Commandments (1)
Do not become ill.
I have joint problems and live with pain all the time but I can honestly say that the pain from a kidney infection is up there. The antibiotics haven't kicked in yet so I do feel quite terrible and Ma hates to be left alone now so going for a lie down earlier was a bit of a waste of time.
Rachel has just been and left me a stack of cook books which I will post out in due course. It was lovely to see her and as we say up North, we had a right good natter. Ma went to bed halfway through, she is less and less able to cope with a lot of conversation.
There may or may not be a further update later depending on how I feel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is now 10:25 and she's been out of bed four times already. At the moment she is ranting and crying. I am at my wits end. I feel so poorly and desperately need to sleep. God almightly I hope this doesn't carry on all night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I last heard her walking around at 3am, but had spoken to her several times. The final time was at about 1:20am. I led her back to bed, removed her coat and shoes...
Don't yank my shoes off like that!
*in distress* Why aren't people here?
Because it's the middle of the night and people sleep at this time
I've never heard of that before! You are just nasty nasty nasty nasty. If your father knew how you treated me....
Repeat and fade.
It's now 7:15 and I've just taken in a cup of tea and her medicine.
Good morning darling, how are you? (back in coat and shoes, also full set of clothes on backwards over pyjamas)
I have joint problems and live with pain all the time but I can honestly say that the pain from a kidney infection is up there. The antibiotics haven't kicked in yet so I do feel quite terrible and Ma hates to be left alone now so going for a lie down earlier was a bit of a waste of time.
Rachel has just been and left me a stack of cook books which I will post out in due course. It was lovely to see her and as we say up North, we had a right good natter. Ma went to bed halfway through, she is less and less able to cope with a lot of conversation.
There may or may not be a further update later depending on how I feel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is now 10:25 and she's been out of bed four times already. At the moment she is ranting and crying. I am at my wits end. I feel so poorly and desperately need to sleep. God almightly I hope this doesn't carry on all night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I last heard her walking around at 3am, but had spoken to her several times. The final time was at about 1:20am. I led her back to bed, removed her coat and shoes...
Don't yank my shoes off like that!
*in distress* Why aren't people here?
Because it's the middle of the night and people sleep at this time
I've never heard of that before! You are just nasty nasty nasty nasty. If your father knew how you treated me....
Repeat and fade.
It's now 7:15 and I've just taken in a cup of tea and her medicine.
Good morning darling, how are you? (back in coat and shoes, also full set of clothes on backwards over pyjamas)
Monday, 10 October 2011
Bundles of Joy
Another common behaviour often seen in dementia sufferers is folding, sorting or stacking things over and over again. My aunt moved boxes around on the table top, Ma bundles things up. Everything from a tissue to a coat to a duvet is bundled up then set down very carefully and stroked. Obviously I feel the need to fold things properly which means that essentially I'm displaying the same behaviour! As fast as I fold things properly I turn around and they're bundled up again...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The tv continues to confuse. You wouldn't think that this would be much of a problem until you see how distressed she gets about it. We've just had a storm of tears because she didn't know where to go, what to take or how to get to Dickinson's Real Deal. Everytime I explain that it isn't real, it's like watching a film she says 'Yes, ok.' Then five minutes later we start all over again. However, when I turn the television off to stop the cycle she becomes morose and surly, cries herself into a doze then wakes up all fluffy. So at the moment each day is a sort of merry-go-round of bundling, confusion, crying, sulking, snoozing, fluffiness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you like something to eat Ma?
Yes. Not a lot though.
I know
I'll have a bit of cheese on toast
Ok
And some bacon
Ok
Oh and that banana thing
Right
And a glass of wine...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I seem to have started something. I ordered Ma a couple of roll neck fleece tops from Cotton Traders and got myself a fleece hooded poncho thing (£10 in the sale). Guess who is wearing the poncho?
So that's a long-sleeved thermal vest, fleece roll neck, fleece jacket and now a fleece poncho. Plus somehow the much derided (initially) fleece pj bottoms have appeared. However.... she isn't huddled under the heated throw. Thank goodness. The very thought of that makes me feel ill.
We are road-testing a bit of Bacardi Breezer tonight. She constantly asks for wine but doesn't like it when I offer it to her. Rather than keep buying sweeter wines in an attempt to find something she likes, I thought this was a flash of genius.
The jury is still out.
I do actually think that there probably isn't an alcoholic drink she will like now and avoid it as much as possible but every now and then she gets stuck in a loop about it. At these times it is easier on my sanity to pander to her wishes. As I type she's had about a small sherry glass worth so we aren't talking a rapid descent into alcoholism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love the stats bit on this thing, it's fascinating. I wonder how someone in Russia (v popular there for some reason) or Egypt happens upon this particular blog. Also the search criteria used on Google makes me laugh sometimes - that bruise on my leg is regularly used by someone to get in here! Weekend traffic is generally quieter as you would expect and the most popular post of all time is the one containing pics of Ma and Pa on Ma's 80th birthday.
Well I think it's fascinating. Trust me, I'd go out more if I could... :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The tv continues to confuse. You wouldn't think that this would be much of a problem until you see how distressed she gets about it. We've just had a storm of tears because she didn't know where to go, what to take or how to get to Dickinson's Real Deal. Everytime I explain that it isn't real, it's like watching a film she says 'Yes, ok.' Then five minutes later we start all over again. However, when I turn the television off to stop the cycle she becomes morose and surly, cries herself into a doze then wakes up all fluffy. So at the moment each day is a sort of merry-go-round of bundling, confusion, crying, sulking, snoozing, fluffiness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would you like something to eat Ma?
Yes. Not a lot though.
I know
I'll have a bit of cheese on toast
Ok
And some bacon
Ok
Oh and that banana thing
Right
And a glass of wine...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I seem to have started something. I ordered Ma a couple of roll neck fleece tops from Cotton Traders and got myself a fleece hooded poncho thing (£10 in the sale). Guess who is wearing the poncho?
So that's a long-sleeved thermal vest, fleece roll neck, fleece jacket and now a fleece poncho. Plus somehow the much derided (initially) fleece pj bottoms have appeared. However.... she isn't huddled under the heated throw. Thank goodness. The very thought of that makes me feel ill.
We are road-testing a bit of Bacardi Breezer tonight. She constantly asks for wine but doesn't like it when I offer it to her. Rather than keep buying sweeter wines in an attempt to find something she likes, I thought this was a flash of genius.
The jury is still out.
I do actually think that there probably isn't an alcoholic drink she will like now and avoid it as much as possible but every now and then she gets stuck in a loop about it. At these times it is easier on my sanity to pander to her wishes. As I type she's had about a small sherry glass worth so we aren't talking a rapid descent into alcoholism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love the stats bit on this thing, it's fascinating. I wonder how someone in Russia (v popular there for some reason) or Egypt happens upon this particular blog. Also the search criteria used on Google makes me laugh sometimes - that bruise on my leg is regularly used by someone to get in here! Weekend traffic is generally quieter as you would expect and the most popular post of all time is the one containing pics of Ma and Pa on Ma's 80th birthday.
Well I think it's fascinating. Trust me, I'd go out more if I could... :)
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