Thankfully after the dreadful attempt to go to IKEA we had two day centre days to recover. I did get a phone call asking if I would bring her wheelchair though because they have such a difficult job getting her off the bus. We've had several occasions when getting her down the steps at the front is a teamwork job involving distraction, persuasion, bossiness (me) and lightning fast intervention between her hands and anything she can grip. Plus it isn't pleasant to see Ma in such distress being virtually bundled off albeit for the best of reasons and with the best of intentions.
With this in mind we've tried using the lift at the back but she hates standing on it and I can't say I blame her, I think I'd be a bit pooky too. So for all involved, although she doesn't really need it when she's at the centre she will now travel back in her wheelchair again.
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Then... just when you think things are nicely on an even keel... I went to pick up a computer desk for H from Argos this afternoon. The plan was to pick up the desk then pootle back via the gym for a swim. But because Argos was full of people buying barbeques, no lie, 14th in the queue and every single person in front of me bought one - the slightest sniff of fine weather and the nation goes crazy for petrol flavoured food and insect hell, go figure - I ditched the idea of a trip to the gym. Thank goodness. Ma had taken the undressing thing to the extreme and H was half hiding in her room not wishing to see the results and I can't blame her for that.
I'm just thankful that the window cleaner didn't call for his money until after I got home.
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Now that the carers are no longer coming in the evenings we've had a more relaxed attitude towards bedtime. The interesting thing is that keeping Ma up later makes absolutely no difference to how often she gets up again before settling. Some nights she is asleep in minutes, others she is up 10/12/20 times.
Updates as and when over the weekend.
Friday, 10 August 2012
Monday, 6 August 2012
Optimism
Either I'm far more of an optimist than my grumpy, cynical exterior shows or I'm a complete idiot. And don't all rush to answer that.
I thought a trip to IKEA might be a good idea - God alone knows why. We need some bits and pieces and they have nice sweeping aisles so the plan was to take the wheelchair, go for lunch and then have a mooch around. The plan started to fall apart 500 yards down the road when Ma (in the back with the child locks on) kept trying to hand me her seat belt. This continued all the way down the M66 and on to the M60 where she got bored with that plan and started poking me in the neck with a pencil she found in the back. I have to say that this probably had something to do with the fact that when we came off at junction 8 IKEA appeared to have vapourised. At that point I realised we actually should've been coming off the M62 not the M60. So a bit of a detour.
We pulled up outside the front of the store and got a disabled space. Lovely. Got the wheelchair out and attempted to get Ma into it. This wasn't a hugely popular move so as I was trying to get the safety belt fastened I was also being belted from here to next week around the head. This was accompanied by shouts for help and pleading arms etc. The fact that it was quite sunny and pleasant meant that all the benches and tables outside the store were full of families having a drink or something to eat. So not in the least bit mortifying at all. We made it into the foyer where I could see that there was a bit of a queue for the lift. I was just about to ask H if she fancied having some lunch first when Ma kicked off again. Without breaking stride we did an about turn and headed straight back to the car. Extracting Ma from the wheelchair and getting her back into the car was a repeat performance in reverse - much to the astonishment of all the hot dog scoffers - and away we went. Both H and I were shaking with distress and Ma was oblivious, calling us both darling...
As a direct result of that I went for a swim.
This is the point where I tell you that I've joined a local gym and I wait until the collective sound of jaws being winched off the floor has ceased.
So I've joined the local gym. It's very pleasant and not too huge but it does have two lovely sparklingly clean swimming pools, toning tables and more yoga and pilates classes than you can eat. I'm not terribly interested in the weights bit but hope to get on to the cardio machines at some point. H is happy to Ma sit for an hour or so on non-centre days or during the evening so with luck we can get into a bit of a routine. Going for a swim, steam, hydro-jet thingy and relax on a lounger for 10 mins was really great and I definitely feel much less stressed out than I did when we got back from the journey to hell on a stick.
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The evening carers are no more. The final straw was finding Ma, bed and bedding soaking wet less than an hour after she'd gone to bed. This was because the two carers had managed to fold her night time pad in half which obviously wasn't then able to do its job properly. I was extremely unimpressed. So we are now only having help in the morning. In all honesty I probably could (and have on several occasions) deal with the mornings too but it's nice to not have to and it allows my joints to get going at a gentle stroll rather than a full gallop.
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Very pleased with several blips from the last week or so. This this and this spring to mind :)
I thought a trip to IKEA might be a good idea - God alone knows why. We need some bits and pieces and they have nice sweeping aisles so the plan was to take the wheelchair, go for lunch and then have a mooch around. The plan started to fall apart 500 yards down the road when Ma (in the back with the child locks on) kept trying to hand me her seat belt. This continued all the way down the M66 and on to the M60 where she got bored with that plan and started poking me in the neck with a pencil she found in the back. I have to say that this probably had something to do with the fact that when we came off at junction 8 IKEA appeared to have vapourised. At that point I realised we actually should've been coming off the M62 not the M60. So a bit of a detour.
We pulled up outside the front of the store and got a disabled space. Lovely. Got the wheelchair out and attempted to get Ma into it. This wasn't a hugely popular move so as I was trying to get the safety belt fastened I was also being belted from here to next week around the head. This was accompanied by shouts for help and pleading arms etc. The fact that it was quite sunny and pleasant meant that all the benches and tables outside the store were full of families having a drink or something to eat. So not in the least bit mortifying at all. We made it into the foyer where I could see that there was a bit of a queue for the lift. I was just about to ask H if she fancied having some lunch first when Ma kicked off again. Without breaking stride we did an about turn and headed straight back to the car. Extracting Ma from the wheelchair and getting her back into the car was a repeat performance in reverse - much to the astonishment of all the hot dog scoffers - and away we went. Both H and I were shaking with distress and Ma was oblivious, calling us both darling...
As a direct result of that I went for a swim.
This is the point where I tell you that I've joined a local gym and I wait until the collective sound of jaws being winched off the floor has ceased.
So I've joined the local gym. It's very pleasant and not too huge but it does have two lovely sparklingly clean swimming pools, toning tables and more yoga and pilates classes than you can eat. I'm not terribly interested in the weights bit but hope to get on to the cardio machines at some point. H is happy to Ma sit for an hour or so on non-centre days or during the evening so with luck we can get into a bit of a routine. Going for a swim, steam, hydro-jet thingy and relax on a lounger for 10 mins was really great and I definitely feel much less stressed out than I did when we got back from the journey to hell on a stick.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The evening carers are no more. The final straw was finding Ma, bed and bedding soaking wet less than an hour after she'd gone to bed. This was because the two carers had managed to fold her night time pad in half which obviously wasn't then able to do its job properly. I was extremely unimpressed. So we are now only having help in the morning. In all honesty I probably could (and have on several occasions) deal with the mornings too but it's nice to not have to and it allows my joints to get going at a gentle stroll rather than a full gallop.
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Very pleased with several blips from the last week or so. This this and this spring to mind :)
Thursday, 26 July 2012
Decisions decisions
I'm seriously considering cancelling the evening care. There are a number of reasons for this. When Ma first came out of hospital her mobility was very very poor whereas now she is walks happily around the house without a frame and we only need the wheelchair when we go out. I know the company have sickness problems at the moment but having to interrupt her meal which she will then not eat because we've lost any momentum so that she can be made ready for bed at half past five or hanging around until 10pm trying to keep her awake because that last thing I want to do is get her revved up at that time of night after a three hour doze on the sofa does tend to irritate. With that point in mind I have been the one to get her ready for bed on a number of occasions recently and do not find it particularly arduous so am beginning to resent the constant 'she really needs two carers at night' comments. My reasoning is that I can manage the evening shift thus saving money for when we will really really need at a later date.
Later...
As the comment below says continuity is important and a very relevant point in favour of discontinuing the evening calls. On reflection I think this is why mornings are rarely a problem because we (usually) only see two girls, Kay for 12 days straight then Lisa on Kay's weekend off. In the evenings we have a random selection, often two carers where one will fill in the 'book' while the other one does the job but sometimes just one. It's a pick 'n' mix group of around 10 different carers and her bedtimes can vary by up to two hours.
The girl who came tonight is one of the ones who doesn't quite 'get' the best way to deal with Ma. So she's not settling at all. She's been up eight times in an hour already and I've just been punched in the face. Again. Between her and the cat, who is forever flipping my glasses off, it is a miracle I can see anything at all.
Off to blip something. No idea what though, inspiration is a bit lacking tonight.
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Managed to go for a nice walk with Lily yesterday.
Later...
As the comment below says continuity is important and a very relevant point in favour of discontinuing the evening calls. On reflection I think this is why mornings are rarely a problem because we (usually) only see two girls, Kay for 12 days straight then Lisa on Kay's weekend off. In the evenings we have a random selection, often two carers where one will fill in the 'book' while the other one does the job but sometimes just one. It's a pick 'n' mix group of around 10 different carers and her bedtimes can vary by up to two hours.
The girl who came tonight is one of the ones who doesn't quite 'get' the best way to deal with Ma. So she's not settling at all. She's been up eight times in an hour already and I've just been punched in the face. Again. Between her and the cat, who is forever flipping my glasses off, it is a miracle I can see anything at all.
Off to blip something. No idea what though, inspiration is a bit lacking tonight.
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Managed to go for a nice walk with Lily yesterday.
Sunday, 22 July 2012
Weekend Musings
It's interesting the way behaviours I thought had been and gone come back again. It has been months since Ma haunted the front door, trying the handle every 30 seconds or so, but now she is back to doing it again. I can ignore it for so long (about an hour or so) and then suddenly it's just so irritating and I go through the whole 'It's locked Ma, you can't open it' and she says 'Yes that's right.' and then tries to open it. This is repeated a number of times until the futility of it bludgeons me over the head and I return to ignoring mode. Albeit with slightly flatter teeth.
A current obsession is removing food from her plate and putting it somewhere else. Generally on the soft furnishings, but it can be anywhere. Vigilance is paramount here because had I missed the egg sandwich she put in a coat pocket in the cupboard we could have been searching for the source of the smell for weeks. I'm baffled as to how she decided that was where to put it but she clearly wanted to go there and in fact it was only her dogged determination that made me realise she was up to something.
As she has been re-referred back to the dietician I am battling with the whole feeding thing again and this is linked to the above. As I mentioned a while back, when she is at the day centre she uses cutlery and feeds herself so I have stepped back from assisting her and encourage her to do the same at home. The downside to this is that she eats far less than she would if I was helping and tends to move food around the house/feed the dog etc if I'm not closely monitoring her and that has the inevitable result of some weight loss. Everything I feed her is calorie-loaded as much as possible - Jersey milk on cereal plus cream, I put butter, cream and/or cheese in as many things as I can and keep up a steady drip feed of soft sweet things such as pieces of banana, breakfast bars, cakes etc. The only time she flatly refuses is when I offer food which I've added Complan to. And frankly I can't say I blame her, it's foul. At the same time if she refuses to eat there's not a great deal I can do about it. Yesterday was a refusal day, hopefully today will be a good one.
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Months ago I put my name down for a day retreat at Mirfield with the Vicar and others from church next Saturday but I am going to have to cancel. I hadn't realised that Peter would be in Spain and there isn't really anyone else I would ask to be with Ma all day, it's too much for anyone else to deal with. Hugh has offered to take me on a weekday when she's at the day centre which would be great, so we'll see how things go.
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Some nice blips recently. I think we might have a jolly jaunt in the car today (Ma in the back with the child locks on) and go looking for something nice to photograph. It'll make a change from things in the garden :)
A current obsession is removing food from her plate and putting it somewhere else. Generally on the soft furnishings, but it can be anywhere. Vigilance is paramount here because had I missed the egg sandwich she put in a coat pocket in the cupboard we could have been searching for the source of the smell for weeks. I'm baffled as to how she decided that was where to put it but she clearly wanted to go there and in fact it was only her dogged determination that made me realise she was up to something.
As she has been re-referred back to the dietician I am battling with the whole feeding thing again and this is linked to the above. As I mentioned a while back, when she is at the day centre she uses cutlery and feeds herself so I have stepped back from assisting her and encourage her to do the same at home. The downside to this is that she eats far less than she would if I was helping and tends to move food around the house/feed the dog etc if I'm not closely monitoring her and that has the inevitable result of some weight loss. Everything I feed her is calorie-loaded as much as possible - Jersey milk on cereal plus cream, I put butter, cream and/or cheese in as many things as I can and keep up a steady drip feed of soft sweet things such as pieces of banana, breakfast bars, cakes etc. The only time she flatly refuses is when I offer food which I've added Complan to. And frankly I can't say I blame her, it's foul. At the same time if she refuses to eat there's not a great deal I can do about it. Yesterday was a refusal day, hopefully today will be a good one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Months ago I put my name down for a day retreat at Mirfield with the Vicar and others from church next Saturday but I am going to have to cancel. I hadn't realised that Peter would be in Spain and there isn't really anyone else I would ask to be with Ma all day, it's too much for anyone else to deal with. Hugh has offered to take me on a weekday when she's at the day centre which would be great, so we'll see how things go.
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Some nice blips recently. I think we might have a jolly jaunt in the car today (Ma in the back with the child locks on) and go looking for something nice to photograph. It'll make a change from things in the garden :)
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
Success!
The Burglar Bill night time attire is working really well, since we started on this regime we haven't had a single 'incident'. Not had much success finding a suitable daytime version yet though. I may have to dig out the sewing machine after all.
Harriet had a lovely birthday weekend and Ma had a few days in respite. When we arrived she was eager to get inside the door and once I'd unpacked her clothes in her room I took her to the lounge where she sat very happily saying hello and chatting away, in fact chatting away so well she didn't acknowledge me leaving. What a difference to a year ago. She did come home with half her clothes missing (despite me labelling everything, including her socks and knickers) and half of someone else's clothes instead. Not the first time this has happened and I'm seriously considering buying her a 'respite' wardrobe of inexpensive clothes so that I don't get annoyed when things go missing. Mind you she did come home from the centre yesterday wearing a pair of men's trousers. Thankfully she didn't bring the owner too.
The home phoned me on Saturday night to say that as she had lost weight since her last visit they were referring her to the dietician. The fact that she's just been discharged from the same doesn't matter apparently. Nor does saying that she's been in hospital and had four weeks on an assessment bed since her last visit. So we will go round the houses again. I'm keeping a food diary this time because I can't see how I can get much more food inside her - especially if she refuses to eat it, and the stuff she refuses to eat is generally anything I've put Complan in as per the dietician's instructions. And can someone tell me what to do with four boxes of banana flavour? Where the hell do I put that? She's not keen on custard/mousse/cheesecake type things. Banana flavoured mashed potato isn't going to work.
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It's Ma's 82nd birthday today so we are just about to set off for the day centre laden with cookies, chocolate roll, millionaire's shortbread, mini doughnuts and brownies (for 50). I hope they all enjoy it :)
'Happy Birthday Mum!!'
'Yes probably.'
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I reached my 200th Blip without a gap on Sunday. Quite an achievement! Roy is proving to be a popular subject in and amongst everything else :)
Harriet had a lovely birthday weekend and Ma had a few days in respite. When we arrived she was eager to get inside the door and once I'd unpacked her clothes in her room I took her to the lounge where she sat very happily saying hello and chatting away, in fact chatting away so well she didn't acknowledge me leaving. What a difference to a year ago. She did come home with half her clothes missing (despite me labelling everything, including her socks and knickers) and half of someone else's clothes instead. Not the first time this has happened and I'm seriously considering buying her a 'respite' wardrobe of inexpensive clothes so that I don't get annoyed when things go missing. Mind you she did come home from the centre yesterday wearing a pair of men's trousers. Thankfully she didn't bring the owner too.
The home phoned me on Saturday night to say that as she had lost weight since her last visit they were referring her to the dietician. The fact that she's just been discharged from the same doesn't matter apparently. Nor does saying that she's been in hospital and had four weeks on an assessment bed since her last visit. So we will go round the houses again. I'm keeping a food diary this time because I can't see how I can get much more food inside her - especially if she refuses to eat it, and the stuff she refuses to eat is generally anything I've put Complan in as per the dietician's instructions. And can someone tell me what to do with four boxes of banana flavour? Where the hell do I put that? She's not keen on custard/mousse/cheesecake type things. Banana flavoured mashed potato isn't going to work.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's Ma's 82nd birthday today so we are just about to set off for the day centre laden with cookies, chocolate roll, millionaire's shortbread, mini doughnuts and brownies (for 50). I hope they all enjoy it :)
'Happy Birthday Mum!!'
'Yes probably.'
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I reached my 200th Blip without a gap on Sunday. Quite an achievement! Roy is proving to be a popular subject in and amongst everything else :)
Wednesday, 11 July 2012
Fun and Games
The biggest issue I've had to deal with over recent weeks has been one of 'containment', particularly first thing in the morning, and four times in the last 6 days is apparently the tipping point. Without being overly coy or going into graphic detail it has meant washing everything in sight, starting with Ma and working outwards via the bed, bedding, soft furnishings, walls, floor etc. Ma gets distressed when she is put in the shower but unfortunately it is the only way to deal with the situation. Or it was... I think I may have come up with a solution.
It occurred to me that if I could remove access (as it were) then 90% of the problem would be sorted. So a bit of brainstorming later and she now goes to bed in long cycling shorts to keep the pad and net knickers arrangement snugly in place and then over the top she wears an all-in-one pyjama effort. These are not dissimilar to old fashioned long johns, the twist is that I put them on backwards so that the fastenings are out of reach. We are now on day three of this new regime and so far it's been 100% successful. One bonus I hadn't anticipated is that she appears to be much warmer in bed and the knock on effect of that has been that she sleeps more soundly and hasn't been up wandering about quite so much at 0 dark hundred hours.
Now I need to find some way of replicating this for daytime to stop the disrobing issue. Plain onesies without a pattern would do the trick but I'm not having much luck finding any small enough. If you happen to see any please let me know - the ones I have bought are sized for 13 year olds.
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Phoned the surgery this morning because Ma had a skin tear on her leg at some point overnight. The appointment was for 10.30 which was fine, I would take her on to day care afterwards and rang them to say she would be late otherwise her lunch would be in danger of being cancelled. I thought it would be a quick in and out then off to the day centre with barely a blip. Silly moi.
We did eventually get in to see the GP but only after a 50 minute wait because she had 3 appointments run over. Ma was teasey and shouty after 15 minutes so you can imagine how stressy it was. Not surprised that GP was running over though, I went in just wanting to know if it should be dressing on or off, if antibiotics on stand by should be used or not and when to call if things deteriorated. I'm not lacking in intelligence but some of the situations I am now dealing with are new territory so I needed a quick precis on what to do coupled with reassurance that what I am already doing is fine. The GP gave me a full 15 minute run down on how the wound had probably happened, how it would likely heal, what to put on it etc. I have to say that in some ways she deserves a gold star, talking about something so minor for 15 minutes is a skill. She really needs to edit.
Thinking about the way the skin tear happened, I suspect it was the onesie wot did it. They all have a ribbed cuff at the bottom of the leg which is joined to the main body of the garment with some fairly robust stitching. So today I have been removing said cuffs off all the onesies and hemming up the softer jersey cotton. Hopefully this will stop any further injury. I really should have anticipated that though. Sigh.
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Thistle blip today
It occurred to me that if I could remove access (as it were) then 90% of the problem would be sorted. So a bit of brainstorming later and she now goes to bed in long cycling shorts to keep the pad and net knickers arrangement snugly in place and then over the top she wears an all-in-one pyjama effort. These are not dissimilar to old fashioned long johns, the twist is that I put them on backwards so that the fastenings are out of reach. We are now on day three of this new regime and so far it's been 100% successful. One bonus I hadn't anticipated is that she appears to be much warmer in bed and the knock on effect of that has been that she sleeps more soundly and hasn't been up wandering about quite so much at 0 dark hundred hours.
Now I need to find some way of replicating this for daytime to stop the disrobing issue. Plain onesies without a pattern would do the trick but I'm not having much luck finding any small enough. If you happen to see any please let me know - the ones I have bought are sized for 13 year olds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phoned the surgery this morning because Ma had a skin tear on her leg at some point overnight. The appointment was for 10.30 which was fine, I would take her on to day care afterwards and rang them to say she would be late otherwise her lunch would be in danger of being cancelled. I thought it would be a quick in and out then off to the day centre with barely a blip. Silly moi.
We did eventually get in to see the GP but only after a 50 minute wait because she had 3 appointments run over. Ma was teasey and shouty after 15 minutes so you can imagine how stressy it was. Not surprised that GP was running over though, I went in just wanting to know if it should be dressing on or off, if antibiotics on stand by should be used or not and when to call if things deteriorated. I'm not lacking in intelligence but some of the situations I am now dealing with are new territory so I needed a quick precis on what to do coupled with reassurance that what I am already doing is fine. The GP gave me a full 15 minute run down on how the wound had probably happened, how it would likely heal, what to put on it etc. I have to say that in some ways she deserves a gold star, talking about something so minor for 15 minutes is a skill. She really needs to edit.
Thinking about the way the skin tear happened, I suspect it was the onesie wot did it. They all have a ribbed cuff at the bottom of the leg which is joined to the main body of the garment with some fairly robust stitching. So today I have been removing said cuffs off all the onesies and hemming up the softer jersey cotton. Hopefully this will stop any further injury. I really should have anticipated that though. Sigh.
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Thistle blip today
Friday, 6 July 2012
This week
Well, the doll has arrived and has been a bit of a non-event although it's early days. She can be persuaded to hold it for a while but then puts it down again, I'm hoping it will become more accepted over the next few weeks. Thank goodness it isn't a real baby though. So far it's been stuffed down the back of the sofa, slapped face first onto the table and carried by the leg. Poor thing. Mood-wise we've had a reasonably stable week with the odd blip here and there as usual, I think the meds are better this way.
H is now firmly ensconced here having been for a college interview on Monday and been offered a place on the strength of her art work alone. Predicted grades and her personal statement were brushed aside. So so proud of her, roll on September.
We have been hampered by the weather this week so not been out and about too much although Mavis (God love her) stepped into the breach on Monday when we had to go for the interview. The thought of taking Ma in her wheelchair to that was daunting to say the least and would have been very unfair on H. Day centre Tues and Weds and I baked for the Dementia Café on Tuesday. That was quite a feat due to the Aga not working so had to use the table top oven. Cue a mad couple of hours of swapping tins in and out and using the desk fan to cool things down quickly so that the icing could go on. Thankfully the Aga is now lit again so next time it shouldn't be such a trial.
The rest of this week has been taken up with trying to get my EMA finished for submission to the OU. It's not an easy task to concentrate with Ma disrobing at every turn, needing cleaning up. talking to me non-stop, standing very very close and/or constantly moving things about. However, I am about 75% of the way there now, just have to choose my 10 photos (whittled it down to about 14 now) and finish off the written bit. I've stuck the photos in a set on Flickr and should anyone would like to comment, offer feedback or help me choose I'd be most grateful.
As I type the washer is on, the bed re-made, it is hammering down with rain, Ma has had a shower and her breakfast and is now half dozing half talking to her friends, H is drawing and I am about to do the hoovering marathon. I hope it stays this peaceful :)
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I liked yesterday's blip along with a few others recently. Looking at the weather, today's might be a challenge...
Friday, 29 June 2012
A couple of good things
Yesterday I ordered some meals from Wiltshire Farm Foods to try, they offer a soft diet range of puréed meals which are ideal for Ma. Today she tried a roast chicken dinner and ate a good 80% of it which was really encouraging because it was far more food than I would normally offer her. I think they will be very handy for those can't be arsed to cook days or when we've been out and she needs something fast. They say that they are prepared specifically to be finished off in the oven/microwave and certainly seem to smell more appetising than your average ready meal.
So a good day foodwise. Two Weetabix with milk, cream, a banana and lactulose (shudder) for breakfast, roast chicken dinner for lunch and home made cottage pie for her tea and inbetween she's had a small iced finger with a bit of butter on and three small choc chip cookies. No carers tonight due to sickness issues so I put her to bed at 7 and she seems to have gone off to sleep ok - it's half an hour since I put her to bed and she has stayed there. So far...
Barry came today and we talked about her undressing. He is going to see if he can find any information via professional resources and tells me that the paperwork for the additional day at the centre would be signed off today so another day should be in the pipeline. It is a bit of a dead man's shoes scenario so it may be a while before we hear anything.
We also discussed getting a doll. The upshot of that conversation is that I've ordered one from Amazon. If she loves it then that will be a massive result, everything else I've tried as a distraction/comfort has failed miserably. So far music, photographs, tv, things to fold or sort have all been less than successful. If she doesn't engage with it then I can give it to Lulu (who I'm told is now standing/holding on to furniture so will be off very soon!).
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Forgot to do a linky to Blip yesterday. Still going strong although beginning to panic about my final assignment for the OU and how far behind I am.
So a good day foodwise. Two Weetabix with milk, cream, a banana and lactulose (shudder) for breakfast, roast chicken dinner for lunch and home made cottage pie for her tea and inbetween she's had a small iced finger with a bit of butter on and three small choc chip cookies. No carers tonight due to sickness issues so I put her to bed at 7 and she seems to have gone off to sleep ok - it's half an hour since I put her to bed and she has stayed there. So far...
Barry came today and we talked about her undressing. He is going to see if he can find any information via professional resources and tells me that the paperwork for the additional day at the centre would be signed off today so another day should be in the pipeline. It is a bit of a dead man's shoes scenario so it may be a while before we hear anything.
We also discussed getting a doll. The upshot of that conversation is that I've ordered one from Amazon. If she loves it then that will be a massive result, everything else I've tried as a distraction/comfort has failed miserably. So far music, photographs, tv, things to fold or sort have all been less than successful. If she doesn't engage with it then I can give it to Lulu (who I'm told is now standing/holding on to furniture so will be off very soon!).
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Forgot to do a linky to Blip yesterday. Still going strong although beginning to panic about my final assignment for the OU and how far behind I am.
Thursday, 28 June 2012
One day I'll learn
One day I will learn not to say things like 'everything is calm and quiet', it really just sets me up for a fall.
The increase in medication made Ma 10 times worse than she was and caused her to go night time wandering again. I gave it a few days but in the end I had to stop the second tablet and put her back on the sleep meds. She is better on this regime but her behaviour is really quite bizarre at the moment and this means that I can't take my eyes off her for a second. She is hell bent on removing every scrap of clothing every couple of minutes and which is exhausting and this coupled with constant restlessness and a continual stream of conversation which makes absolutely no sense and the days are really quite difficult. It's taken me five days to complete this blog post. If anyone has any ideas on why she takes her clothes off or how to stop her doing it I'd be grateful for the help, it distresses me so much. I take her to the loo regularly because I've read that this can be a reason for it but it doesn't seem to make any difference. As I type she is in vest and pants and one sock. Oh, make that no socks now. I think my blood pressure must be off the scale.
Foodwise she is eating reasonably well but needs constantly reminding and encouraging, and often quite a lot of help as even spoons can be too challenging to use some days.
Harriet is now here and this has made a massive difference to me, I can nip up to the shop if I need milk for example and simply having another body around helps enormously. I don't feel quite so isolated any more. H has an interview at college on Monday so fingers crossed she does well, that would really make my day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please don't take your trousers off...
No I won't.
*trousers hit the deck*
Brrr! Isn't it cold?
The increase in medication made Ma 10 times worse than she was and caused her to go night time wandering again. I gave it a few days but in the end I had to stop the second tablet and put her back on the sleep meds. She is better on this regime but her behaviour is really quite bizarre at the moment and this means that I can't take my eyes off her for a second. She is hell bent on removing every scrap of clothing every couple of minutes and which is exhausting and this coupled with constant restlessness and a continual stream of conversation which makes absolutely no sense and the days are really quite difficult. It's taken me five days to complete this blog post. If anyone has any ideas on why she takes her clothes off or how to stop her doing it I'd be grateful for the help, it distresses me so much. I take her to the loo regularly because I've read that this can be a reason for it but it doesn't seem to make any difference. As I type she is in vest and pants and one sock. Oh, make that no socks now. I think my blood pressure must be off the scale.
Foodwise she is eating reasonably well but needs constantly reminding and encouraging, and often quite a lot of help as even spoons can be too challenging to use some days.
Harriet is now here and this has made a massive difference to me, I can nip up to the shop if I need milk for example and simply having another body around helps enormously. I don't feel quite so isolated any more. H has an interview at college on Monday so fingers crossed she does well, that would really make my day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please don't take your trousers off...
No I won't.
*trousers hit the deck*
Brrr! Isn't it cold?
Tuesday, 12 June 2012
Goodness me!
Where did the time go?
I suspect that a weekend away plus having to catch up with my OU course and submit a CMA by midday on Monday may well have something to do with it.
But also, as Jon said on his wonderful blog recently, no news means that things have been relatively calm and quiet and after a year-long white knuckle ride it's quite pleasant to bimble along for a change if I'm honest. This does mean that there's not much to blog about and I'm sure you would get rather bored with endless updates about the same things.
In Ma's world things are quite busy. She still hallucinates a lot and spends a fair amount of time looking for someone/doing something she's been 'told' to do/asking me where people have gone/talking to the 'others'. She's rarely very distressed by any of this although she is constantly on the move trying to resolve things. A lot of her conversation doesn't make any sense (random or made-up words feature heavily) but I try to gather the gist so that I can either agree with what she is saying or sort out what she needs. It can be a bit hit and miss though unfortunately.
The dementia community team came to see her yesterday and due to the level and frequency of her hallucination the anti-psychotic drug has been increased. This is a slightly contentious issue so if I don't see a big improvement in the next week or so I will be giving them a call. There is hope that this will also temper some of her aggression - usually when attempts are being made to get her dressed/undressed, fed, bathed or any other situation where she doesn't want to do what she is being asked. A couple of mornings have been a bit of a nightmare but I worship at the altar of Vanish Green Top which deals with everything magnificently.
The day centre continues to be a hit. It is wonderful to see her walk off quite happily without a backward glance when at home I barely get 10 seconds before she comes looking for me. I am firmly convinced that it does her the world of good to be away from here and mixing with others. And of course, I do enjoy the time off.
The back bathroom now has a new shower and flooring so we are able to shower her safely and easily even though she's not very keen, another huge personality change which is hard to get used to.
Only 8 days until H arrives. Cannot wait.
I suspect that a weekend away plus having to catch up with my OU course and submit a CMA by midday on Monday may well have something to do with it.
But also, as Jon said on his wonderful blog recently, no news means that things have been relatively calm and quiet and after a year-long white knuckle ride it's quite pleasant to bimble along for a change if I'm honest. This does mean that there's not much to blog about and I'm sure you would get rather bored with endless updates about the same things.
In Ma's world things are quite busy. She still hallucinates a lot and spends a fair amount of time looking for someone/doing something she's been 'told' to do/asking me where people have gone/talking to the 'others'. She's rarely very distressed by any of this although she is constantly on the move trying to resolve things. A lot of her conversation doesn't make any sense (random or made-up words feature heavily) but I try to gather the gist so that I can either agree with what she is saying or sort out what she needs. It can be a bit hit and miss though unfortunately.
The dementia community team came to see her yesterday and due to the level and frequency of her hallucination the anti-psychotic drug has been increased. This is a slightly contentious issue so if I don't see a big improvement in the next week or so I will be giving them a call. There is hope that this will also temper some of her aggression - usually when attempts are being made to get her dressed/undressed, fed, bathed or any other situation where she doesn't want to do what she is being asked. A couple of mornings have been a bit of a nightmare but I worship at the altar of Vanish Green Top which deals with everything magnificently.
The day centre continues to be a hit. It is wonderful to see her walk off quite happily without a backward glance when at home I barely get 10 seconds before she comes looking for me. I am firmly convinced that it does her the world of good to be away from here and mixing with others. And of course, I do enjoy the time off.
The back bathroom now has a new shower and flooring so we are able to shower her safely and easily even though she's not very keen, another huge personality change which is hard to get used to.
Only 8 days until H arrives. Cannot wait.
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