My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

Goodness me

In the first 120 hours after Ma went into hospital, I slept for over 95 of them. I think that says that I needed a bit of a rest.

She is settled on the ward but there have been some changes. Social Services have had a bit of a shuffle around so now Ma has Chris, a CPN, instead of Barry. I don't suppose it will make a lot of difference to her other than the fact that she won't flirt with Chris (female). I'm not happy that they are giving her Risperidone, I wasn't willing to give it to her when she was at home and I'm not happy that they are giving it to her in hospital. However I am attending the ward round on Monday am so I will be asking questions.

One thing that is without doubt, she will not be coming home before Christmas. I am fine about this actually, obviously I will go and see her on Christmas Day/Boxing Day (and multiple days in and amongst) but having had to cancel the respite care I had booked I was hoping that she would be staying in hospital. Harriet deserves a nice Christmas.


Two years today since Dad passed away. Still miss him every single day.

Saturday, 8 December 2012


Ma was admitted to hospital on Friday for nursing and care assessment and a full drug re-calibration. It's been a busy 24 hours and I need to sit down and give myself time to think about that I want to put in here.

However she is fine. Has settled well on the ward and is content I think. I saw her this afternoon and she clearly didn't know who I was, I tried to get her to sit with me but she wasn't interested. The nursing staff are astonished that I've been caring for her on my own.

It's odd really, I still don't see it as a problem despite all the stress, just something you do. However, as a lifelong member of the low blood pressure massive having to go for another check on my blood pressure on Tuesday suggests that some of it has had an effect.

I will do a full report/update in the next couple of days. But for now, for some reason I have an overwhelming need to sleep for a day or two...

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Plus ca change...

Nearly a month on and no assessment has been done. 

After a chat with Emma at the day centre last Thursday where I told her about being hit so hard across the ear I cried for two hours, she suggested she should re-refer me to the carer's department at Social Services. I received a phone call the same day and saw Sue yesterday morning where we talked about how things were and I told her how it is. After getting home from collecting Ma in the afternoon I had a phone call from Sue to say that she and Barry would visit again on Friday and her boss would hopefully be coming to do a nursing assessment on Tuesday next week.

Barry phoned this morning to say that he had spoken to Sue and then to the dementia team to see if there was any medication available to help with her aggression and agitation. He will bring a prescription with him on Friday but in the meantime I need to do some research on the drug to read up on the side effects and make a decision on whether or not I think the inherent risks are worth it.

He also suggested that Ma's behaviour has clearly deteriorated very rapidly over the last couple of weeks.

Hm. Well only if he hasn't been listening to what I've been telling him since at least July. I suspect part of the problem is that when he comes to visit Ma she is incredibly pink and fluffy with him so he doesn't see her usual behaviour (she does the same when Simon comes to visit). And probably promptly dismisses the majority of what I tell him is happening.

However the day centre told me this afternoon that they have their Christmas parties on Tues, Weds and Thurs next week. These are the days that Ma is there and unfortunately she isn't welcome. They feel her behaviour is just too challenging and it would be very difficult for them to keep her safe and the rest of the service users safe from her during the festivities. I totally understand this and hope that perhaps this will finally get the point across about how difficult it is.

My heart did sink a little though I have to admit. Not only at the prospect of no respite for 12 days but also that I hope this isn't the precursor to them saying they can't cope with her full stop.