My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Monday, 27 June 2011

Cooking the beast and other stories

The meal yesterday went very well indeed. Ma loved having people round and everyone seemed to have a good time. I got unbearably hot unfortunately and did wonder the wisdom of serving a full on roast on the hottest day of the year even if I didn't realise it was going to be when I planned it! Simon, bless him, brought the big floor-standing fan downstairs and set it up next to the Aga and that quite possibly stopped me from passing out.

The pork was sublime (and still is - leftover heaven here) and worth trying if you've never done it, although be warned it does feed an awful lot of people! Simon Rimmer's Lemon and Mascarpone tart is definitely worth making - but don't faint at the egg count - as is the Amaretti, raspberry and almond cake from the Good Food website I took a couple of photos and will post them after this - although the one of the table is a bit blurred due to me shaking from feeling so hot and crap. Sorry.


Days like today are the ones I find the hardest to deal with. Again, I think the excitement of yesterday has tipped her into a small decline. I call them white knuckle ride days.

When I took Ma her tablets this morning she was crying over Dad's photo (this is not unusual) and barely called goodbye to Simon before he left at about 9:00. She did not want to get up, which is fine, so I gave her a cup of tea and her tablets and left her alone.

At 9:30 Sue from the Community Mental Health Team (Older People) came to see me, she is the person who cares for the Carers and offers support etc. to people like me. Within five minutes of her arriving Ma came into the room fully dressed and lipsticked and obviously wanting to know what was going on. This made talking to Sue a bit tricky because obviously we needed to talk about Ma and how I am coping. However, I think Sue and I sparked off each other quite well and I'm sure we will get on famously, she is coming to see me again in a couple of weeks to do a Carer's Assessment. There's quite a lot of support out there that I hadn't realised existed and which I will be taking full advantage of, starting with a meeting on Thursday evening.

After Sue left Ma did her hair which she finds ever more difficult to negotiate - today she couldn't find the hairspray in addition to the regular difficulties with using her curling irons. She then went and sat outside in the sun for a while before coming back inside and becoming morose and beligerent, refusing to speak to me and spending over three hours on the sofa in the kitchen refusing to eat or drink anything. I was actually quite worried about her being dehydrated after being out in the sun but it took that long to get her to drink anything. I'm still not sure why she took against me but she's now sitting in the lounge watching Wimbledon (I've always loved Nadal, he used to be good. Which one is he?), is about to eat some tea, and chatting happily about yesterday.



Uncle Vic outdid Simon in the mis-naming of things yesterday. Apparently he's been watching a foodie programme he thinks is called 'Two Fat Greeks'. In fact he's been watching 'Two Greedy Italians'. Still chuckling.



  1. That pork is HUGE! Looks fab tho...
    Carers support? Wish I'd known about them a couple of months ago...

  2. It has all been arranged via the mental health team if that's any help Julie xx