My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Wednesday, 22 June 2011


Where's my real mother and what have you done with her?

Today (so far - it's now 17:20) has been easy and pleasant with Ma clearly pretty contented. She didn't get up until just before 8, decided not to have a shower today and requested porridge for breakfast just after nine o'clock. I successfully negotiated the tv schedule away from Jeremy Kyle and hit upon Cruise TV which pleased her no end. I was somewhat flummoxed when she said she thought she should be having some lunch at 11:30 and then proceeded to eat a small fish pie with tomatoes, four custard creams and a hot chocolate.

Her social worker arrived after lunch and took her off to the day centre which she really wasn't very keen to see. (I finished Mandy Baggot's book Knowing Me Knowing You *sniff*) When she got back she was full of it! 'They give you lunch and you can get your hair done and they have music afternoons and send you home with some tea.'  There was some confusion over the arrangements ie she seems to think that I can go with her and she doesn't quite understand about the minibus collection schedule - I think she thinks this is a personal taxi service - but all in all it was a fantastic response. We now have to wait until there is a place for her but hopefully it won't be too long, not because she will forget but because she won't and will ask me many times a day until it is sorted.

She's watched a couple of hours of Wimbledon and has just asked me when her tea will be ready and would like cottage pie and peas.... This is when I began to suspect an alien abduction.

Yesterday when I was literally nauseous with fatigue and pain after all the driving she was in a vicious mood, got unbelievably annoyed when I dozed off for 10 minutes, banging cupboard doors open and closed and throwing things around then pushed food around her plate at both meals and went to bed in a huff. So that's the last time I let her have blue Smarties for lunch (kidding).


I've invited Ma's friend's over for Sunday lunch again. I fancy doing something very slightly different ie mustard and maple syrup glazed roast gammon with parsley and Cumberland sauces and the usual roast dinner type veggies (roast, new, cabbage, cauli and leek cheese, peas etc). Never done gammon for Sunday lunch - do we think this is ok? Otherwise it will have to be 24 hour pork in the bottom oven. Which, now I think about it, is a very good (and going to church friendly) idea. Place your votes now please....


'So did you like it?'

'It was very nice, the girls were ever so friendly.'

'Well that's great! You'll soon make some new friends and it will be nice to chat with some new people.'

'I won't be talking to any of those old ones though. Poor souls.'


  1. Gammon sounds fab...I luurrrve gammon...but I can see your reasoning vis a vis the 24 hour pork...

  2. The popular FB vote says pork. That means a bit of prep beforehand but that's ok :)