My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Enormous change ahoy

Ma has been in hospital for a month now. She is happy and settled, spending most of her time walking up and down the nice wide corridors. When she isn't doing that she might be invading other people's space or she will sit behind the Nurse's station. The cellulitis in her leg continues to respond to the antibiotics and improves day by day.

When I arrived today she was very much in walking mode, so didn't stop long when I gave her a hug. She was very 'dorritydorrity' and clearly had a mission in mind.

Today was the day for the meeting with the consultant and others to discuss the results of her various assessments. Drug-wise she will stay on the smaller dose of Respiridone because it does appear to have lessened both her psychosis and her aggression. But the hope is to reduce and remove in the near future.

She has also been assessed as needing nursing care and this will be funded but she has not been awarded CHC funding. It is unfortunate that I was given the impression that the nursing care could be implemented at home, this is not the case and she will have to go into a home with an EMI unit in order to give her what she needs. To say that I was a bit blindsided by this is an understatement. However, CHC funding is not the golden ticket it appears to be in that should she be awarded it then settle well in the home, and thereby her aggression etc. is reduced, when she is re-assessed 6 weeks later the funding would be withdrawn. So you would be in the situation where thinking all was settled suddenly becomes oops... sorry.. you need to find £1800 a month. So in a way this is better. At least I know what we have to deal with.

Lots of issues around this. I've always wanted to keep her at home, so now I feel as though I'm letting her down (I know, I know); I'm very worried about how to keep the house going when such a massive amount of money is about to leave the bank account every month; I'm not exactly prime employment material these days so finding someone who will employ a disabled 52 year old in the current climate is likely to be akin to the proverbial needle in a haystack etc.

But on the positive side, this is absolutely what Ma needs. Plus she is able to go to the home that I saw a few months ago and liked enormously and that really does make the whole thing so much easier to deal with.


  1. I know it is so hard to let go BUT you need to do it for both your sakes . I hated to do it too but Dad now loves it and gets upset if he is away "from home " too long .

    Wee xx

  2. Thanks for the update Bee. It's hard for you ATM but probably best for all of you in the long term? At least your mum seems happy and settled - a big plus! :-).

  3. Very hard! Surely it isn't you that has to pay, though.
    I understood that care should be paid for by her resources and, if there aren't any, then the state will pay, won't they?
    Is it worth speaking to the CAB or someeon similar?

  4. That is what I have always understood. A friend's father had to go into a home for similar reasons and they used his [the father's] savings and pension to fund it. Eventually they would have sold his house. If he had no money at all, 'they' would have paid.