I am sitting here trying to finish writing another book in the 'Little Book of Low Carb...' series. I've got a legion of tested recipes to write down and one would think seemingly endless hours in which to do it. Unfortunately after a day of Ma wrangling my brain is too knackered to think about anything more arduous than what will happen next on Corrie or who is due to go out of Strictly. During the day there are other obstacles.
[me] 'Right, time to get the aubergine recipes written up...'
[Ma standing next to me] Forrityporritybaabaadidderybiddipydooo...
[starts typing] Aubergines are really useful for lots of things - for porridgey (what?!?) no no not porridgey for potato! a potato substitute...
[Ma bends closer, speaks louder] Borrityporritynerrilyferrilywinderynoonoolerryferryberrytorrityta...
Repeat (for hours) and fade.
Someone asked me earlier if Ma was channeling Dr Seuss. Frankly after 12 solid hours of it I am seriously considering channeling out my own ear canals with a chisel.
Feeding her tonight was an impossible task because she would not stop. She's had a reasonable amount of calories today, albeit on the run and snuck in here and there when she drew breath. Quite a lot of it she spat out again in a rage, but you can only do what you can do. My secret weapon of choice at the moment is a hot chocolate made with milk and double cream and a bowl of little chocolate bits (Whispa Bites, Giant Buttons etc.) which she will pick at - and also stuff in her pockets but I hope that's so that she can eat them later and not for me to wash accidentally. Some hope.
Changing her pad and onesie ready for bed wasn't much fun either. Three bites, five punches, knocked off glasses, many kicks and countless slaps later she is now moving the all the dining chairs into the hall. I have given up. I'll move it all back when (if) she finally goes to bed.
It's looking like today's blip will be one I took this morning of some contrails in the sky. Nope, not proud of it at all really but it's all I've had a chance to take. Still quite purty though.