Some days it is really hard to fire up the blogging fingers. Sometimes I feel that there isn't much to say, you've heard it all before or I'm just feeling overwhelmed by everything and can't put fingers to keyboard because it will just be another whinge about how difficult Ma is and how I deal with her. I really hope that that isn't why people follow this blog. I try to pick out the best bits of the day, good or bad, to highlight the way it is.
Today's post will be a mish mash.
So today has been a day of trial and trial, but all in the little things of life. Ma knew I had a bed being delivered today (on account of the fact that we looked at them yesterday and I couldn't get her off the one I picked!). From 8am she was already thinking the delivery service was rubbish because it hadn't arrived added to the usual thing about when Peter is coming (NEXT WEEK again every 10 or 15 minutes) meant for a slightly teeth grinding morning.
Getting dressed and showered is a list of instructions. Some are followed, most are not. It is a constant battle between enabling (sp?) and taking over.
The bed arrived at midday. I was slightly disconcerted that the £39 delivery charge included me helping the delivery man shove the mattress up the stairs and definitely means that I will be in a lot of pain tomorrow. Even typing this hurts. Sigh. EDS is crap. But I have a lovely bed, the bed of beds.
Ma has been in a clingy mood today which means loo visits etc. are accompanied. It really is like having a 5ft tall, 81 year old toddler.
I made chilli jelly tonight and it looks so beautiful. I think I will have to make some more. I must admit that I've just realised that I can do some serious chutney/preserving stuff now that I'm unemployed. I did some when the children were small, but now I have the time and could preserve the entire country. Blissful smile.
Ma is on the new meds from tonight. I hope I hope she will sleep through but I fear I will be up at 0 Dark Hundred Hours because the clocks go back tonight.
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More later possibly.
Saturday, 29 October 2011
Friday, 28 October 2011
All in all...
... if you ignore the awful start it has been a very successful day.
She wasn't in a great mood when I took in her meds this morning. Fridays are always a bit of a challenge because that's when she has her alendronic acid tablet and has to sit upright for thirty minutes before having anything else. She also has to drink a full glass of water. Which, as you know, she hates. So in between all the burping and whingeing it feels a lot longer than thirty minutes I can tell you! After tea and other meds we set off for the bathroom. She knew we were going somewhere today but couldn't remember where.
Now I hope you are all wearing your Alanis Morissette Irony Hats because when I said she was going to see the dementia doctor she remembered everything about the last time she saw him and that she'd decided she hated him. She last saw him in February. Eight months ago. Why can't she retain the fact that Peter isn't coming after ten minutes has lasped? Every ten minutes. All day. Every day.
So my little blogettes, what do you think happened next? Yup. An hour and a half of truly dreadful behaviour. She refused to eat her breakfast or speak to me, but did tell the dog I was the cow bitch daughter from hell and she was going to kill herself. The dog was supremely unconcerned. I told her it was only a doctor's appointment and perhaps this was a slight overreaction... I passed her the Kleenex box, put her coat on and off we went.
By the time we arrived at the clinic she was in full fluff mode. The occupational health therapist took her off for a memory test and then we went in to see Dr Prasad. The first thing to please Ma was to see Barry sitting in the consulting room and without any preamble she roundly told him off for leaving her in the street. By a process of elimination we worked out that he'd seen her at the day centre in passing and had said hello. But he gamely took up the slack and talked to her about it. Dr Prasad talked to Ma for a bit and once it was apparent that she wasn't able to take in what he was saying, he turned to me instead. I respect him for that though, he didn't just talk over her. He explained that the reason she'd been discharged in Feb was because she had utterly refused to interract with them and that they couldn't reasonably offer support if she wouldn't engage with the team.
She had utterly refused to interract with them because he had told her there wasn't a magic tablet to cure her condition and that she must cease driving immediately. You may have noticed in passing that Ma really doesn't take kindly to being told what to do...
Anyway all that aside, her memory test score was very poor (7/30) and the latest brain scan had shown significant damage so the vascular dx is pretty much set in stone. I was able to get across some of the problems I deal with without Ma really taking in what I was saying and the result is that he has prescribed drugs to help level her moods and a low dose sleeping tablet. But the biggest result is a change to the Pinfold Centre from her current day centre, a lovely place specifically for dementia sufferers. And best of all, two days a week!! Barry asked me which days would suit so I said any two so long as they aren't next to each other. Going to the day centre does wear her out and the following day can be difficult so a following second day at the centre wouldn't be beneficial.
After the consultation we went over to the retail park which houses Tesco, Next, Comet etc. We popped into Next to look for a replacement credit card holder but they don't do them any longer (sorry honey). However Ma did point and laugh at the flimsy undies. Then into Tesco where we bought a few bits and bobs and then Ma wanted a coffee. Off to the cafe... (11am)
Coffee Ma?
Yes please.
Would you like a scone or a teacake or something?
Yes I would. And a few chips.
Scone and chips!!?! I don't think so.
*serving girl being helpful*
How about fish and chips?
Ma: Ooh yes that would be lovely
Peas?
Yes thank you
Bread and butter?
Oh yes
I send Ma off to find a table. I know I know. Watching the faces of several people on different tables as she tried to sit with them was both cringeworthy and highly entertaining.
We sat down with the tea and coffee...
Aren't we having any chips?
Yes they are just coming, they have to order them then the girl brings them out to you.
*fish, chips, peas, bread and butter arrives*
What the heck is this? *pokes fish* I don't want this.
I knew she wouldn't eat it all so hadn't ordered anything for myself and ate the remains.
Not many chips left though.
She wasn't in a great mood when I took in her meds this morning. Fridays are always a bit of a challenge because that's when she has her alendronic acid tablet and has to sit upright for thirty minutes before having anything else. She also has to drink a full glass of water. Which, as you know, she hates. So in between all the burping and whingeing it feels a lot longer than thirty minutes I can tell you! After tea and other meds we set off for the bathroom. She knew we were going somewhere today but couldn't remember where.
Now I hope you are all wearing your Alanis Morissette Irony Hats because when I said she was going to see the dementia doctor she remembered everything about the last time she saw him and that she'd decided she hated him. She last saw him in February. Eight months ago. Why can't she retain the fact that Peter isn't coming after ten minutes has lasped? Every ten minutes. All day. Every day.
So my little blogettes, what do you think happened next? Yup. An hour and a half of truly dreadful behaviour. She refused to eat her breakfast or speak to me, but did tell the dog I was the cow bitch daughter from hell and she was going to kill herself. The dog was supremely unconcerned. I told her it was only a doctor's appointment and perhaps this was a slight overreaction... I passed her the Kleenex box, put her coat on and off we went.
By the time we arrived at the clinic she was in full fluff mode. The occupational health therapist took her off for a memory test and then we went in to see Dr Prasad. The first thing to please Ma was to see Barry sitting in the consulting room and without any preamble she roundly told him off for leaving her in the street. By a process of elimination we worked out that he'd seen her at the day centre in passing and had said hello. But he gamely took up the slack and talked to her about it. Dr Prasad talked to Ma for a bit and once it was apparent that she wasn't able to take in what he was saying, he turned to me instead. I respect him for that though, he didn't just talk over her. He explained that the reason she'd been discharged in Feb was because she had utterly refused to interract with them and that they couldn't reasonably offer support if she wouldn't engage with the team.
She had utterly refused to interract with them because he had told her there wasn't a magic tablet to cure her condition and that she must cease driving immediately. You may have noticed in passing that Ma really doesn't take kindly to being told what to do...
Anyway all that aside, her memory test score was very poor (7/30) and the latest brain scan had shown significant damage so the vascular dx is pretty much set in stone. I was able to get across some of the problems I deal with without Ma really taking in what I was saying and the result is that he has prescribed drugs to help level her moods and a low dose sleeping tablet. But the biggest result is a change to the Pinfold Centre from her current day centre, a lovely place specifically for dementia sufferers. And best of all, two days a week!! Barry asked me which days would suit so I said any two so long as they aren't next to each other. Going to the day centre does wear her out and the following day can be difficult so a following second day at the centre wouldn't be beneficial.
After the consultation we went over to the retail park which houses Tesco, Next, Comet etc. We popped into Next to look for a replacement credit card holder but they don't do them any longer (sorry honey). However Ma did point and laugh at the flimsy undies. Then into Tesco where we bought a few bits and bobs and then Ma wanted a coffee. Off to the cafe... (11am)
Coffee Ma?
Yes please.
Would you like a scone or a teacake or something?
Yes I would. And a few chips.
Scone and chips!!?! I don't think so.
*serving girl being helpful*
How about fish and chips?
Ma: Ooh yes that would be lovely
Peas?
Yes thank you
Bread and butter?
Oh yes
I send Ma off to find a table. I know I know. Watching the faces of several people on different tables as she tried to sit with them was both cringeworthy and highly entertaining.
We sat down with the tea and coffee...
Aren't we having any chips?
Yes they are just coming, they have to order them then the girl brings them out to you.
*fish, chips, peas, bread and butter arrives*
What the heck is this? *pokes fish* I don't want this.
I knew she wouldn't eat it all so hadn't ordered anything for myself and ate the remains.
Not many chips left though.
Thursday, 27 October 2011
It's that time of the week again
Ma was up before daylight calling for me. She was ready for the day centre in her pyjamas, two jackets and a coat with the gold metallic belt once again around her neck. After I'd got her showered, dressed and fed she was on pins waiting for the bus to arrive. And once it did arrive she went off without a backward glance.
Because E & P were coming for lunch I made a chicken, mushroom and parsley pie and prepped the veg and not long after that they arrived. Lunch done I took E to see the garden centre and we had a happy pootle around there for an hour. Simple pleasures.
They've just left, Ma has had a tiny piece of pie and a new potato and is off to bed.
She's just told me she won't be going again next week.
*models for Edvard Munch*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Because E & P were coming for lunch I made a chicken, mushroom and parsley pie and prepped the veg and not long after that they arrived. Lunch done I took E to see the garden centre and we had a happy pootle around there for an hour. Simple pleasures.
They've just left, Ma has had a tiny piece of pie and a new potato and is off to bed.
She's just told me she won't be going again next week.
*models for Edvard Munch*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 |
| Chicken, mushroom and parsley pie about to go into the Aga |
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
See above ^
Warning!! There is a fairly impressive sneeze near the start.
This is Ma talking after going to the day centre last week. Please click on the heading to go to the link.
This is Ma talking after going to the day centre last week. Please click on the heading to go to the link.
Wednesday bullet points
Notes to self:
* Remove all nail varnish from the dressing table and preferably keep in a separate house to the lipstick
* When giving instructions for applying Canasten to the chesticle area remove any toothbrushes nearby
* Make sure Canasten and toothpaste are not near to each other during ablutions
* Explain clearly that a 3 inch wide plaited metallic belt is not a neck decoration of any kind
* When going out for lunch buy just one meal and offer a few chips
* Realise that skills once thought lost can suddenly reappear, although not necessarily to previous levels
* Visits from friends or relatives can affect behaviour for hours afterwards - often detrimentally
* Do not put hot water bottle near pillow without checking for Celebrations or similar
* Do not stand with mouth agape when hearing day centre described as 'this wonderful place I go to...'
* Remove all nail varnish from the dressing table and preferably keep in a separate house to the lipstick
* When giving instructions for applying Canasten to the chesticle area remove any toothbrushes nearby
* Make sure Canasten and toothpaste are not near to each other during ablutions
* Explain clearly that a 3 inch wide plaited metallic belt is not a neck decoration of any kind
* When going out for lunch buy just one meal and offer a few chips
* Realise that skills once thought lost can suddenly reappear, although not necessarily to previous levels
* Visits from friends or relatives can affect behaviour for hours afterwards - often detrimentally
* Do not put hot water bottle near pillow without checking for Celebrations or similar
* Do not stand with mouth agape when hearing day centre described as 'this wonderful place I go to...'
Tuesday, 25 October 2011
So Tired
We had a very disturbed night last night culminating in a major meltdown somewhere around 5am. It started with Ma coming into my room and nearly giving me a heart attack. I'd dropped into a deep sleep after the 3.30 episode so didn't hear her come up the stairs. Once she had my attention we were back in the 'I've been in this bed for hours on my own' territory.
Trying to reason with her is a complete waste of time. She doesn't want to hear logical argument for why she should be there at that time of night, or that this is what other people also do. She's too angry to listen. Fortunately all the doors were locked as usual so no matter how hard she rattled the front door or how loud she shouted, she couldn't get out. It may sound horribly cruel to do this but if I didn't she would be wandering to goodness knows where in the dead of night.
It is now 5pm and of course she wants to go to bed. I've told her she has to stay up until after Emmerdale but I don't hold out a lot of hope. I tried to get her to go for a walk this afternoon, it was sunny and pleasant and slightly breezy. Too windy and cold was the reply. At this rate I'll be organising a treadmill in an effort to get her to do a little bit of exercise and also attempt to tire her out a bit!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well... she's still up (19:20). I decided we should actually go for a walk anyway which turned out fine if you discount how unsteady she is on her feet and her refusal to take my arm. I gave her my walking stick - apparently so that she could wave it about in the air and stagger from side to side. But we walked around the block, the dog was happy and all things being equal it wasn't too bad. I did have to grab her arm a few times to stop her falling but it was mostly ok.
Betsy has phoned to say that she's not well, she had the doctor out this morning and he's put her on pills for her blood pressure which was I quote '200 something over 100 something'. The doc insisted that she shouldn't be on her own tonight - she has two boys, one lives in Wales and the other appears to work 24 hours a day. So... Betty has just arrived in her pjs and dressing gown and will be sleeping here tonight. She suffers from panic attacks and insomnia, poor love and being alone would be too stressful for her.
I'm thinking we can all have a midnight feast at about 3am. I'll bring the vodka.
Trying to reason with her is a complete waste of time. She doesn't want to hear logical argument for why she should be there at that time of night, or that this is what other people also do. She's too angry to listen. Fortunately all the doors were locked as usual so no matter how hard she rattled the front door or how loud she shouted, she couldn't get out. It may sound horribly cruel to do this but if I didn't she would be wandering to goodness knows where in the dead of night.
It is now 5pm and of course she wants to go to bed. I've told her she has to stay up until after Emmerdale but I don't hold out a lot of hope. I tried to get her to go for a walk this afternoon, it was sunny and pleasant and slightly breezy. Too windy and cold was the reply. At this rate I'll be organising a treadmill in an effort to get her to do a little bit of exercise and also attempt to tire her out a bit!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well... she's still up (19:20). I decided we should actually go for a walk anyway which turned out fine if you discount how unsteady she is on her feet and her refusal to take my arm. I gave her my walking stick - apparently so that she could wave it about in the air and stagger from side to side. But we walked around the block, the dog was happy and all things being equal it wasn't too bad. I did have to grab her arm a few times to stop her falling but it was mostly ok.
Betsy has phoned to say that she's not well, she had the doctor out this morning and he's put her on pills for her blood pressure which was I quote '200 something over 100 something'. The doc insisted that she shouldn't be on her own tonight - she has two boys, one lives in Wales and the other appears to work 24 hours a day. So... Betty has just arrived in her pjs and dressing gown and will be sleeping here tonight. She suffers from panic attacks and insomnia, poor love and being alone would be too stressful for her.
I'm thinking we can all have a midnight feast at about 3am. I'll bring the vodka.
Monday, 24 October 2011
Monday Fun and Games
Ma spent the weekend with Peter and Jean. No tales of woe to report, so I'm assuming it all went well. I spent the weekend in Chesterfield and took 24 chocolate and pecan muffins to a writing workshop which I thoroughly enjoyed.
I got back here at about 4.30 yesterday afternoon and waved goodbye to my brother. Ma was fine to start with but became morose very quickly, it's obviously me then! A recent trend has been the suicide threats and they started up practically as soon as Peter's car disappeared up the road. We had firm words about that and then she ate some fruit and ice cream before going to bed at 6. I couldn't get her to stay up any longer because she felt very tired.
She did get up a couple of times during the evening but slept through until 6 this morning (am still quite peeved that she slept until 9 when Peter was here though!)
This morning started calmly enough. She called me at 6 but I was very slow getting up this morning (a combination of a strange bed and 4 hours of driving does that to me) so a gentle pootle through shower and breakfast didn't happen until nearer 9. Then she sat and watched a bit of tv before suddenly getting obsessed with waiting for the man with the car to arrive. This, it turns out, wasn't a hope that Peter was returning but waiting for the bus to take her to the day centre! Come Thursday and I guarantee she won't want to go. However she spent an hour or so standing by the door with her coat on before going into the back bedroom and pulling piles of saved greetings cards out of the drawer and getting upset over them.
Lunch was refused but a coffee with Mavis was accepted. Coat and lipstick on, she was ready.
As she left the bedroom I realised I could smell nail varnish. Seeing she was in a cream coat I was worried about nail varnish stains so checked her sleeves. Nothing. Not on the coat or her nails. It was then that I realised that the pearly lipstick wasn't lipstick. Fortunately it hadn't had enough time to dry properly so it did come off after a bit of persuasion but it was a tussle because Ma couldn't understand what the fuss was about.
Chicken soup. bread and butter and a mince pie for tea and she's now dozing in front of the tv.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She went to bed at 6 despite my best efforts.
Just had yet another conversation about going to bed and going to sleep. This will be the eighth time since 18:00 and it is still only 22:33
The recurring theme is interesting:
Hello?
Hello Ma
Are you ready?
Ready for what?
Ready to come to bed
I'm not sleeping with you Ma, I have my own bed
Are you sure?
Yes I'm sure.
I never see your boyfriend.
I know Ma, he's the Scarlet Pimpernel.
Is he??? Well that's good then.
Please, please stay in bed tonight, I can't cope if you get up every hour.
Well why would I do that? I've never done it before...
On that note. Goodnight, I will un-grit me teeth at some point I'm sure.
I got back here at about 4.30 yesterday afternoon and waved goodbye to my brother. Ma was fine to start with but became morose very quickly, it's obviously me then! A recent trend has been the suicide threats and they started up practically as soon as Peter's car disappeared up the road. We had firm words about that and then she ate some fruit and ice cream before going to bed at 6. I couldn't get her to stay up any longer because she felt very tired.
She did get up a couple of times during the evening but slept through until 6 this morning (am still quite peeved that she slept until 9 when Peter was here though!)
This morning started calmly enough. She called me at 6 but I was very slow getting up this morning (a combination of a strange bed and 4 hours of driving does that to me) so a gentle pootle through shower and breakfast didn't happen until nearer 9. Then she sat and watched a bit of tv before suddenly getting obsessed with waiting for the man with the car to arrive. This, it turns out, wasn't a hope that Peter was returning but waiting for the bus to take her to the day centre! Come Thursday and I guarantee she won't want to go. However she spent an hour or so standing by the door with her coat on before going into the back bedroom and pulling piles of saved greetings cards out of the drawer and getting upset over them.
Lunch was refused but a coffee with Mavis was accepted. Coat and lipstick on, she was ready.
As she left the bedroom I realised I could smell nail varnish. Seeing she was in a cream coat I was worried about nail varnish stains so checked her sleeves. Nothing. Not on the coat or her nails. It was then that I realised that the pearly lipstick wasn't lipstick. Fortunately it hadn't had enough time to dry properly so it did come off after a bit of persuasion but it was a tussle because Ma couldn't understand what the fuss was about.
Chicken soup. bread and butter and a mince pie for tea and she's now dozing in front of the tv.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She went to bed at 6 despite my best efforts.
Just had yet another conversation about going to bed and going to sleep. This will be the eighth time since 18:00 and it is still only 22:33
The recurring theme is interesting:
Hello?
Hello Ma
Are you ready?
Ready for what?
Ready to come to bed
I'm not sleeping with you Ma, I have my own bed
Are you sure?
Yes I'm sure.
I never see your boyfriend.
I know Ma, he's the Scarlet Pimpernel.
Is he??? Well that's good then.
Please, please stay in bed tonight, I can't cope if you get up every hour.
Well why would I do that? I've never done it before...
On that note. Goodnight, I will un-grit me teeth at some point I'm sure.
 |
| First batch of muffins - chocolate, pecan and caramel |
Sunday, 23 October 2011
Hellooo
I've been away for the weekend - I know, such a slacker. Not been online because the wifi at the hotel was complete rubbish so not been able to let you know what has been happening.
Anyhoo am back online now so an update tomorrow morning about the weekend.
I went to a writing workshop and had just the best time :)
Ma stayed here at home with my brother.
Anyhoo am back online now so an update tomorrow morning about the weekend.
I went to a writing workshop and had just the best time :)
Ma stayed here at home with my brother.
Thursday, 20 October 2011
Recording
Mum talking about her day.
It is quite quiet, sorry. Let me know if this works ok.
Thanks.
OH! Btw.... you need to click on Recording above...
Doh!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok that didn't work very well. Free hosting apparently means we will include adverts for Tarot readings etc.
Bear with me. I will not be beaten.
It is quite quiet, sorry. Let me know if this works ok.
Thanks.
OH! Btw.... you need to click on Recording above...
Doh!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok that didn't work very well. Free hosting apparently means we will include adverts for Tarot readings etc.
Bear with me. I will not be beaten.
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