My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Friday, 28 October 2011

All in all...

... if you ignore the awful start it has been a very successful day.

She wasn't in a great mood when I took in her meds this morning. Fridays are always a bit of a challenge because that's when she has her alendronic acid tablet and has to sit upright for thirty minutes before having anything else. She also has to drink a full glass of water. Which, as you know, she hates. So in between all the burping and whingeing it feels a lot longer than thirty minutes I can tell you! After tea and other meds we set off for the bathroom. She knew we were going somewhere today but couldn't remember where.

Now I hope you are all wearing your Alanis Morissette Irony Hats because when I said she was going to see the dementia doctor she remembered everything about the last time she saw him and that she'd decided she hated him. She last saw him in February. Eight months ago. Why can't she retain the fact that Peter isn't coming after ten minutes has lasped? Every ten minutes. All day. Every day.

So my little blogettes, what do you think happened next? Yup. An hour and a half of truly dreadful behaviour. She refused to eat her breakfast or speak to me, but did tell the dog I was the cow bitch daughter from hell and she was going to kill herself. The dog was supremely unconcerned. I told her it was only a doctor's appointment and perhaps this was a slight overreaction... I passed her the Kleenex box, put her coat on and off we went.

By the time we arrived at the clinic she was in full fluff mode. The occupational health therapist took her off for a memory test and then we went in to see Dr Prasad. The first thing to please Ma was to see Barry sitting in the consulting room and without any preamble she roundly told him off for leaving her in the street. By a process of elimination we worked out that he'd seen her at the day centre in passing and had said hello. But he gamely took up the slack and talked to her about it. Dr Prasad talked to Ma for a bit and once it was apparent that she wasn't able to take in what he was saying, he turned to me instead. I respect him for that though, he didn't just talk over her. He explained that the reason she'd been discharged in Feb was because she had utterly refused to interract with them and that they couldn't reasonably offer support if she wouldn't engage with the team.

She had utterly refused to interract with them because he had told her there wasn't a magic tablet to cure her condition and that she must cease driving immediately. You may have noticed in passing that Ma really doesn't take kindly to being told what to do...

Anyway all that aside, her memory test score was very poor (7/30) and the latest brain scan had shown significant damage so the vascular dx is pretty much set in stone. I was able to get across some of the problems I deal with without Ma really taking in what I was saying and the result is that he has prescribed drugs to help level her moods and a low dose sleeping tablet. But the biggest result is a change to the Pinfold Centre from her current day centre, a lovely place specifically for dementia sufferers. And best of all, two days a week!! Barry asked me which days would suit so I said any two so long as they aren't next to each other. Going to the day centre does wear her out and the following day can be difficult so a following second day at the centre wouldn't be beneficial.

After the consultation we went over to the retail park which houses Tesco, Next, Comet etc. We popped into Next to look for a replacement credit card holder but they don't do them any longer (sorry honey). However Ma did point and laugh at the flimsy undies. Then into Tesco where we bought a few bits and bobs and then Ma wanted a coffee. Off to the cafe... (11am)

Coffee Ma?

Yes please.

Would you like a scone or a teacake or something?

Yes I would. And a few chips.

Scone and chips!!?! I don't think so.

*serving girl being helpful*

How about fish and chips?

Ma: Ooh yes that would be lovely


Yes thank you

Bread and butter?

Oh yes

I send Ma off to find a table. I know I know. Watching the faces of several people on different tables as she tried to sit with them was both cringeworthy and highly entertaining.

We sat down with the tea and coffee...

Aren't we having any chips?

Yes they are just coming, they have to order them then the girl brings them out to you.

*fish, chips, peas, bread and butter arrives*

What the heck is this? *pokes fish* I don't want this.

I knew she wouldn't eat it all so hadn't ordered anything for myself and ate the remains.

Not many chips left though.


  1. Two days.....Two whole days.....

    Well done you. why not use them for sleep :D

  2. It is a lottery win. Especially with my NEW BED which arrives tomorrow...

  3. Maybe you'll have time to start that novel?

  4. Well done - two whole days, you won't know what to do with yourself!

  5. At last! Someone who listens - and helps!!