My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Thursday, 13 October 2011

Wednesday Woes

Yesterday was a very tough day, Ma just couldn't understand how ill I felt and it was exhausting. Plus, feeling so ill conversation was an effort so I was a bit quiet. This meant Ma filled every possible second with talk. It's a challenge at the best of times to follow a 12 hour conversation which has no start, middle, end, recognisable subject matter or direction without adding raging nausea and back pain.

Here's your breakfast/lunch/tea

Aren't you eating?

No Ma I'm not feeling well



Go and have a lie down

No it's ok

Go and lie down, I'll be ok

Oh alright then (desperate)

*5 mins later*

Hellooo?? Are you there?


Night Ma I hope you manage to stay in bed all night tonight

Of course I will, I always do!


Just woken up after a full night of sleep with no interruptions. I feel like I've won the lottery.

'Thursday Club' today. I have mentioned it a couple of times during the week and the bad press is very gradually getting less and less. She didn't react at all when I said she would be going today. However, I've yet to mention it this morning. Just having a cup of tea in the sanctuary before tackling that one.


Where am I going today?

To the Thursday Club. At the day centre.

Oh that sounds nice, I've not been before have I?

Yes you've been twice. The bus will be picking you up soon.

Will it bring me back again?

Yes of course!


30 minutes ago:

I don't want to go to that place!

It'll be fine mum, you'll get to meet some new people and have some time away from me. You have your lunch and then you come home. It'll be fine.

Where's my mother. She wouldn't send me there. Your father wouldnt do this to me. Where's Peter?

*sobbing, coughing, retching*


She's just left.

Remember last week when the bus driver arrived? ('Oh hello, I remember you. You're nice.'?) This morning... 'Oh God it's that awful man...'


Would you bloody believe it?? She arrived home with a smile on her face. As she came down the drive arm in arm with Lee (driver) she trilled 'Hello darling I've had an absolutely smashing day'. She then proceeded to eat all of her tea (cheese and pickle sandwich, almond slice and a pear) while she told me all about her day. I would repeat it here but frankly, it didn't make a lot of sense.

I am beyond delighted that she's had a good day. I hope all the excitement means that she will sleep but I know that sometimes it has completely the opposite effect and I could be in for a busy night.

However, now I have something positive to remind her about next week when she doesn't want to go.

A very successful day, eventually :)


  1. Keeping my fingers crossed for you, Bee. xxxxxxx

  2. YEAH!!!!! So glad she had a nice time and you got a much needed break.. Hope you are on the mend :o)

  3. So glad she had a smashing day - I just hope that she remembers it when next week comes around. I hope you had a smashing, restful day too and that you're beginning to feel better.