My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Sunday, 9 October 2011

I couldn't put it better myself

Through the wonder of Twitter I have come into contact with so many people who are connected to dementia in one way or another, a wonderful virtual support network.

One of the people I've met is the lovely hippyjon who's mum is following the same path as Ma. Jon had a little rant last night on his excellent blog We Need Toothpaste and I would like to share this rant with you.


A little story about last night.

Because it was nice and warm in the living room I suggested Ma put her night clothes on in there rather than in the bathroom. Strictly was on in the background.

Oh I'm not getting undressed in here!

Why not? It's much warmer than in the bathroom

Yes but *gestures at tv* I don't want all those people seeing me in the nuddy!


It's 3:15 and we are in the throes of a Mexican standoff.

Ma is having a bit of a moment, we are about an hour and fifty minutes in. It started when I got back from a 5 minute trip to the Co op for some bits. I'd been away too long and she was worried about me. This then became her wanting to go home - a current obsession and not unusual for dementia sufferers. It can often mean where they grew up or another time in their lives which they remember with happiness. This has gradually moved on to the 'no one comes to see me' bit culminating in her deciding to go and visit the neighbours.

Now it is raining heavily and steadily at the moment, she intends to go out in her slippers and is sobbing and sniffing. Of course I'm not going to let her go out either in this state or in this weather and it's not really fair to disturb people at this time on a Sunday afternoon. However she's trying everything she can think of to get me out of the house so that she can go off. I've deflected suggestions to go and do some shopping, go back where I came from etc.

I don't hold out much success of getting her to eat the meal I've been cooking or the banoffee pie I've just made.


There I go making assumptions again. She's just eaten chicken, carrots, leeks, cheesy broccoli and roasties followed by a wodge of banoffee pie.

In her overcoat. Naturally.

Banoffee Pie


  1. I hope you manage to stay in the dry and ma will eat some of the banoffee pie.... sounds delicious. Take care. x

  2. OOh, if she doesn't eat it.... I'll have a bit, nom nom nom... looks lovely!

  3. As you know Julie it's only an assembly job but it is so delicious :) I put Tia Maria in the cream. Works a treat.

  4. Thanks so much for the mention Bee. It seems to have generated a bit of interest, getting some lovely comments via twitter too x