My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Monday, 24 October 2011

Monday Fun and Games

Ma spent the weekend with Peter and Jean. No tales of woe to report, so I'm assuming it all went well. I spent the weekend in Chesterfield and took 24 chocolate and pecan muffins to a writing workshop which I thoroughly enjoyed.

I got back here at about 4.30 yesterday afternoon and waved goodbye to my brother. Ma was fine to start with but became morose very quickly, it's obviously me then! A recent trend has been the suicide threats and they started up practically as soon as Peter's car disappeared up the road. We had firm words about that and then she ate some fruit and ice cream before going to bed at 6. I couldn't get her to stay up any longer because she felt very tired.

She did get up a couple of times during the evening but slept through until 6 this morning (am still quite peeved that she slept until 9 when Peter was here though!)

This morning started calmly enough. She called me at 6 but I was very slow getting up this morning (a combination of a strange bed and 4 hours of driving does that to me) so a gentle pootle through shower and breakfast didn't happen until nearer 9. Then she sat and watched a bit of tv before suddenly getting obsessed with waiting for the man with the car to arrive. This, it turns out, wasn't a hope that Peter was returning but waiting for the bus to take her to the day centre! Come Thursday and I guarantee she won't want to go. However she spent an hour or so standing by the door with her coat on before going into the back bedroom and pulling piles of saved greetings cards out of the drawer and getting upset over them.

Lunch was refused but a coffee with Mavis was accepted. Coat and lipstick on, she was ready.

As she left the bedroom I realised I could smell nail varnish. Seeing she was in a cream coat I was worried about nail varnish stains so checked her sleeves. Nothing. Not on the coat or her nails. It was then that I realised that the pearly lipstick wasn't lipstick. Fortunately it hadn't had enough time to dry properly so it did come off after a bit of persuasion but it was a tussle because Ma couldn't understand what the fuss was about.

Chicken soup. bread and butter and a mince pie for tea and she's now dozing in front of the tv.


She went to bed at 6 despite my best efforts.

Just had yet another conversation about going to bed and going to sleep. This will be the eighth time since 18:00 and it is still only 22:33

The recurring theme is interesting:


Hello Ma

Are you ready?

Ready for what?

Ready to come to bed

I'm not sleeping with you Ma, I have my own bed

Are you sure?

Yes I'm sure.

I never see your boyfriend.

I know Ma, he's the Scarlet Pimpernel.

Is he??? Well that's good then.

Please, please stay in bed tonight, I can't cope if you get up every hour.

Well why would I do that?  I've never done it before...

On that note. Goodnight, I will un-grit me teeth at some point I'm sure.

First batch of muffins - chocolate, pecan and caramel


  1. It's weird, my Grandma does that with re: to if someone is turning up at the house. When she used to go to the doctors to have her leg checked (she had an infection on her leg that must have taken well over a year to clear up - she doesn't need to go to the doctors any more), she used to sit there nearly an hour beforehand and keep going on about how she hoped they wouldn't be late....even though they weren't due at our house for over an hour.

    It's like now, if we're having a food order from Tesco delivered or we have the gardener coming around to mow the lawns for her, she will just sit in a chair in the living room and stare out of the window waiting for him/them to turn up. It's like her brain really cannot cope with more than one thing at once any more.

  2. I had to scroll down to see what mysterious thing happened with the nail polish. Oh, Bee, I shouldn't smile, I know, but... Oh, dear. More muffins called for, I think. :) xx