My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

A much calmer day

A much calmer day today. She's been fairly stable with hardly any moods apart from just now when the day centre was mentioned. Suddenly she is 'very ill' and in tears. When I said she had a really good time last week, naturally she disagreed with me. It may come to a Mexican standoff in the morning, but she's going even if I have to lift her on the bus myself.

I've made rissoles for tea at her request but from the body language being displayed I would hazard a guess that they won't be eaten!

The biggest tooth grinder today has been the continual dialogue about when Peter is coming. She asks roughtly every ten minutes. The other thing has been confusion over the television. I had to turn it off at one point because she was getting distressed by the Injury Lawyers 4 You advert (I did make a joke on Twitter about crap adverts upsetting me too) but then she didn't know what to do with herself. Baking was refused. Handbag sorting vetoed. Jigsaw and photos rebuffed. So after a while she asked for the tv to go on again. All was fine until she started getting distressed again. This time because we weren't bidding for items on Dickinson's Real Deal.. It was easier just to say that nothing was worth the money they were asking. Not entirely untrue.


More in a bit hopefully. Just about to insert rissoles. Where is entirely up to her...

Well she wolfed down her tea - one rissole and some mashed parrot. I must admit that despite my reluctance to have rissoles they were rather nice. I used leftover breast of lamb from the Simon Hopkinson lamb with onions recipe from the other night, added some bread crumbs, an egg, fresh parsley and mint and a couple of large dollops of the leftover onions from the same recipe. Coated in seasoned flour and fried until brown and crisp.

Really very nice indeed. Nothing like the charred sweaty tasting things I remember... Funny that.


Goodness me, it's a quarter past seven! Are you going to bed now Ma?

Oh no, it's still too early.

SFX *jaw crashes to floor*


Oh you're in your pyjamas!

Yep, I'll be going to sit upstairs on the laptop when you've gone to bed.

Are you going to bed?


Are you going to the shop?

Nope. I'm in my pyjamas..?

Oh are you? I hadn't noticed.


  1. Ah! is that how you make rissoles? My mum used to make them but when I tried they were nothing like hers - I think I left out breadcrumbs and egg - no wonder they didn't work!

  2. Attempt number 2 to comment- it ate my other one (sigh)
    Bee- as each day goes by and you offer us some small insight into your world I feel more and more strongly that what you have to say, and the way in which you say it should be available to an even wider audience than your impressive hit rate gives you.
    The respect and dignity you accord your mother despite the most dreadfully trying circumstances and the fact that you manage to make us laugh (having just moved us to tears) is a rare gift and I have to say not one which I have seen evidence of in some of the literature I have read on the subject.
    I think your Blog has such value in terms of reaching out to people who are already in your situation and those of us who have elderly parents and fear these issues may be just around our own corners.........
    The blog should be compulsory reading for all sorts of people from Health professionals to Age concern officials taking in the editors of Saga on the way.
    I'd buy the book you know, and I think there are lots of your regular followers who feel the same.