My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Sunday, 30 October 2011

Morning All

We had a really good night. Ma slept through until 7 (which is effectively 8 for Ma) and my new bed is bliss on a stick.

However this morning... after giving her porridge in bed I started the shower going and she followed me into the bathroom. That was when I noticed she was wearing the wrappers from two incontinence pads on her feet. When I asked why (I know I know, but it's a normal reaction to ask these things) she said she wanted to 'keep my little feet ok in bed'. My suggestion that perhaps if she'd kept on the socks she went to bed in it would've been more effective was met with a blank stare. Then in the shower she wasn't able to wet the flannel and use the soap, just stood to the side of the water and rubbing away with a dry flannel. Instructions such as 'stand under the water mum' lead to her looking around but ignoring the raging torrent two inches to her left. Without physically manhandling her under the water it is very frustrating to deal with and I'm not about to start pushing her around. Apart from anything else, that leads to violence from her and I have to say that I would hate to be pushed around too so completely understand that reaction. Eventually we managed to get her under the water and using the soap and flannel properly but then teeth cleaning proved to be a challenge when you use the wrong end of the brush, then putting on her clothes etc.

We are now sitting in the lounge and have just started the daily ritual of who might be coming to visit. We've done both Peter and Simon at least 15 times already but now started on any and every person she can think of - quite a few of them don't have names and all appear to live 'up the road' or 'you go along then down and round'. Saying that it's Sunday and people usually have plans is a waste of breath. I've suggested going out for lunch but that's not good enough she wants visitors. I'm not ignoring her exactly but neither am I responding very much in the hopes that she will move onto something else eventually.

I think we will go to the supermarket shortly, I want to make some more chilli jelly and perhaps do some piccalilli so a pootle for supplies would be nice. Then while we are out perhaps we shall have some lunch somewhere.


We've had a maudlin day today with an awful lot of tears - glory but it gets a bit wearing at times. Lunch out was vetoed so I cooked a small roast dinner which she did actually eat, much to my surprise, but she's been trying to go to bed since 2pm. This is mainly because no one has visited and therefore the tv is boring, music is too loud and I had the temerity to make chilli jelly in the kitchen. (she was with me in the kitchen of course but I was still doing it on purpose).

It is now ten past six and she's just had a small crustless ham sandwich and her night time meds. She's about to put on her pyjamas (on her own - could be interesting) then I hope she'll watch a bit of tv before going to bed.

** Just checked and no she hadn't put her pyjamas on, she was in bed fully dressed - including shoes. When I made her get up and sort herself out she couldn't take off her trousers, tried to put her pj top on her legs...

Tomorrow I'm making piccalilli. Makes a note to wear a wetsuit. Last year all the turmeric and mustard powder ruined my clothes - I'm a very messy cook.

Chilli Jelly

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