It has been a truly awful day today. Constant crying, accusations, allegations, threats of suicide, calling for my dad, crying over and kissing his photograph etc.
I dont really feel like posting anything else. Sorry.
I just hope the medication starts working soon.
Monday, 31 October 2011
Ah well
Ma was up in the night and had a fall. I nearly broke my neck running downstairs. I managed to get her up and she was fine.
This morning she remembers falling but doesn't remember me picking her up. She is in a foul mood and there have been lots of tears. I am gradually realising just how much damage I did to myself - I appear to have sprained three fingers, thumb and wrist on left hand, sprained my right ankle and my back and neck are really stiffening up. Bugger.
Made some piccalilli though :) (I always forget just what a very messy job it is)
This morning she remembers falling but doesn't remember me picking her up. She is in a foul mood and there have been lots of tears. I am gradually realising just how much damage I did to myself - I appear to have sprained three fingers, thumb and wrist on left hand, sprained my right ankle and my back and neck are really stiffening up. Bugger.
Made some piccalilli though :) (I always forget just what a very messy job it is)
 |
| Piccalilli ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
Sunday, 30 October 2011
Morning All
We had a really good night. Ma slept through until 7 (which is effectively 8 for Ma) and my new bed is bliss on a stick.
However this morning... after giving her porridge in bed I started the shower going and she followed me into the bathroom. That was when I noticed she was wearing the wrappers from two incontinence pads on her feet. When I asked why (I know I know, but it's a normal reaction to ask these things) she said she wanted to 'keep my little feet ok in bed'. My suggestion that perhaps if she'd kept on the socks she went to bed in it would've been more effective was met with a blank stare. Then in the shower she wasn't able to wet the flannel and use the soap, just stood to the side of the water and rubbing away with a dry flannel. Instructions such as 'stand under the water mum' lead to her looking around but ignoring the raging torrent two inches to her left. Without physically manhandling her under the water it is very frustrating to deal with and I'm not about to start pushing her around. Apart from anything else, that leads to violence from her and I have to say that I would hate to be pushed around too so completely understand that reaction. Eventually we managed to get her under the water and using the soap and flannel properly but then teeth cleaning proved to be a challenge when you use the wrong end of the brush, then putting on her clothes etc.
We are now sitting in the lounge and have just started the daily ritual of who might be coming to visit. We've done both Peter and Simon at least 15 times already but now started on any and every person she can think of - quite a few of them don't have names and all appear to live 'up the road' or 'you go along then down and round'. Saying that it's Sunday and people usually have plans is a waste of breath. I've suggested going out for lunch but that's not good enough she wants visitors. I'm not ignoring her exactly but neither am I responding very much in the hopes that she will move onto something else eventually.
I think we will go to the supermarket shortly, I want to make some more chilli jelly and perhaps do some piccalilli so a pootle for supplies would be nice. Then while we are out perhaps we shall have some lunch somewhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We've had a maudlin day today with an awful lot of tears - glory but it gets a bit wearing at times. Lunch out was vetoed so I cooked a small roast dinner which she did actually eat, much to my surprise, but she's been trying to go to bed since 2pm. This is mainly because no one has visited and therefore the tv is boring, music is too loud and I had the temerity to make chilli jelly in the kitchen. (she was with me in the kitchen of course but I was still doing it on purpose).
It is now ten past six and she's just had a small crustless ham sandwich and her night time meds. She's about to put on her pyjamas (on her own - could be interesting) then I hope she'll watch a bit of tv before going to bed.
** Just checked and no she hadn't put her pyjamas on, she was in bed fully dressed - including shoes. When I made her get up and sort herself out she couldn't take off her trousers, tried to put her pj top on her legs...
Tomorrow I'm making piccalilli. Makes a note to wear a wetsuit. Last year all the turmeric and mustard powder ruined my clothes - I'm a very messy cook.
However this morning... after giving her porridge in bed I started the shower going and she followed me into the bathroom. That was when I noticed she was wearing the wrappers from two incontinence pads on her feet. When I asked why (I know I know, but it's a normal reaction to ask these things) she said she wanted to 'keep my little feet ok in bed'. My suggestion that perhaps if she'd kept on the socks she went to bed in it would've been more effective was met with a blank stare. Then in the shower she wasn't able to wet the flannel and use the soap, just stood to the side of the water and rubbing away with a dry flannel. Instructions such as 'stand under the water mum' lead to her looking around but ignoring the raging torrent two inches to her left. Without physically manhandling her under the water it is very frustrating to deal with and I'm not about to start pushing her around. Apart from anything else, that leads to violence from her and I have to say that I would hate to be pushed around too so completely understand that reaction. Eventually we managed to get her under the water and using the soap and flannel properly but then teeth cleaning proved to be a challenge when you use the wrong end of the brush, then putting on her clothes etc.
We are now sitting in the lounge and have just started the daily ritual of who might be coming to visit. We've done both Peter and Simon at least 15 times already but now started on any and every person she can think of - quite a few of them don't have names and all appear to live 'up the road' or 'you go along then down and round'. Saying that it's Sunday and people usually have plans is a waste of breath. I've suggested going out for lunch but that's not good enough she wants visitors. I'm not ignoring her exactly but neither am I responding very much in the hopes that she will move onto something else eventually.
I think we will go to the supermarket shortly, I want to make some more chilli jelly and perhaps do some piccalilli so a pootle for supplies would be nice. Then while we are out perhaps we shall have some lunch somewhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We've had a maudlin day today with an awful lot of tears - glory but it gets a bit wearing at times. Lunch out was vetoed so I cooked a small roast dinner which she did actually eat, much to my surprise, but she's been trying to go to bed since 2pm. This is mainly because no one has visited and therefore the tv is boring, music is too loud and I had the temerity to make chilli jelly in the kitchen. (she was with me in the kitchen of course but I was still doing it on purpose).
It is now ten past six and she's just had a small crustless ham sandwich and her night time meds. She's about to put on her pyjamas (on her own - could be interesting) then I hope she'll watch a bit of tv before going to bed.
** Just checked and no she hadn't put her pyjamas on, she was in bed fully dressed - including shoes. When I made her get up and sort herself out she couldn't take off her trousers, tried to put her pj top on her legs...
Tomorrow I'm making piccalilli. Makes a note to wear a wetsuit. Last year all the turmeric and mustard powder ruined my clothes - I'm a very messy cook.
 |
| Chilli Jelly |
Saturday, 29 October 2011
Meh...
Some days it is really hard to fire up the blogging fingers. Sometimes I feel that there isn't much to say, you've heard it all before or I'm just feeling overwhelmed by everything and can't put fingers to keyboard because it will just be another whinge about how difficult Ma is and how I deal with her. I really hope that that isn't why people follow this blog. I try to pick out the best bits of the day, good or bad, to highlight the way it is.
Today's post will be a mish mash.
So today has been a day of trial and trial, but all in the little things of life. Ma knew I had a bed being delivered today (on account of the fact that we looked at them yesterday and I couldn't get her off the one I picked!). From 8am she was already thinking the delivery service was rubbish because it hadn't arrived added to the usual thing about when Peter is coming (NEXT WEEK again every 10 or 15 minutes) meant for a slightly teeth grinding morning.
Getting dressed and showered is a list of instructions. Some are followed, most are not. It is a constant battle between enabling (sp?) and taking over.
The bed arrived at midday. I was slightly disconcerted that the £39 delivery charge included me helping the delivery man shove the mattress up the stairs and definitely means that I will be in a lot of pain tomorrow. Even typing this hurts. Sigh. EDS is crap. But I have a lovely bed, the bed of beds.
Ma has been in a clingy mood today which means loo visits etc. are accompanied. It really is like having a 5ft tall, 81 year old toddler.
I made chilli jelly tonight and it looks so beautiful. I think I will have to make some more. I must admit that I've just realised that I can do some serious chutney/preserving stuff now that I'm unemployed. I did some when the children were small, but now I have the time and could preserve the entire country. Blissful smile.
Ma is on the new meds from tonight. I hope I hope she will sleep through but I fear I will be up at 0 Dark Hundred Hours because the clocks go back tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More later possibly.
Today's post will be a mish mash.
So today has been a day of trial and trial, but all in the little things of life. Ma knew I had a bed being delivered today (on account of the fact that we looked at them yesterday and I couldn't get her off the one I picked!). From 8am she was already thinking the delivery service was rubbish because it hadn't arrived added to the usual thing about when Peter is coming (NEXT WEEK again every 10 or 15 minutes) meant for a slightly teeth grinding morning.
Getting dressed and showered is a list of instructions. Some are followed, most are not. It is a constant battle between enabling (sp?) and taking over.
The bed arrived at midday. I was slightly disconcerted that the £39 delivery charge included me helping the delivery man shove the mattress up the stairs and definitely means that I will be in a lot of pain tomorrow. Even typing this hurts. Sigh. EDS is crap. But I have a lovely bed, the bed of beds.
Ma has been in a clingy mood today which means loo visits etc. are accompanied. It really is like having a 5ft tall, 81 year old toddler.
I made chilli jelly tonight and it looks so beautiful. I think I will have to make some more. I must admit that I've just realised that I can do some serious chutney/preserving stuff now that I'm unemployed. I did some when the children were small, but now I have the time and could preserve the entire country. Blissful smile.
Ma is on the new meds from tonight. I hope I hope she will sleep through but I fear I will be up at 0 Dark Hundred Hours because the clocks go back tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
More later possibly.
Friday, 28 October 2011
All in all...
... if you ignore the awful start it has been a very successful day.
She wasn't in a great mood when I took in her meds this morning. Fridays are always a bit of a challenge because that's when she has her alendronic acid tablet and has to sit upright for thirty minutes before having anything else. She also has to drink a full glass of water. Which, as you know, she hates. So in between all the burping and whingeing it feels a lot longer than thirty minutes I can tell you! After tea and other meds we set off for the bathroom. She knew we were going somewhere today but couldn't remember where.
Now I hope you are all wearing your Alanis Morissette Irony Hats because when I said she was going to see the dementia doctor she remembered everything about the last time she saw him and that she'd decided she hated him. She last saw him in February. Eight months ago. Why can't she retain the fact that Peter isn't coming after ten minutes has lasped? Every ten minutes. All day. Every day.
So my little blogettes, what do you think happened next? Yup. An hour and a half of truly dreadful behaviour. She refused to eat her breakfast or speak to me, but did tell the dog I was the cow bitch daughter from hell and she was going to kill herself. The dog was supremely unconcerned. I told her it was only a doctor's appointment and perhaps this was a slight overreaction... I passed her the Kleenex box, put her coat on and off we went.
By the time we arrived at the clinic she was in full fluff mode. The occupational health therapist took her off for a memory test and then we went in to see Dr Prasad. The first thing to please Ma was to see Barry sitting in the consulting room and without any preamble she roundly told him off for leaving her in the street. By a process of elimination we worked out that he'd seen her at the day centre in passing and had said hello. But he gamely took up the slack and talked to her about it. Dr Prasad talked to Ma for a bit and once it was apparent that she wasn't able to take in what he was saying, he turned to me instead. I respect him for that though, he didn't just talk over her. He explained that the reason she'd been discharged in Feb was because she had utterly refused to interract with them and that they couldn't reasonably offer support if she wouldn't engage with the team.
She had utterly refused to interract with them because he had told her there wasn't a magic tablet to cure her condition and that she must cease driving immediately. You may have noticed in passing that Ma really doesn't take kindly to being told what to do...
Anyway all that aside, her memory test score was very poor (7/30) and the latest brain scan had shown significant damage so the vascular dx is pretty much set in stone. I was able to get across some of the problems I deal with without Ma really taking in what I was saying and the result is that he has prescribed drugs to help level her moods and a low dose sleeping tablet. But the biggest result is a change to the Pinfold Centre from her current day centre, a lovely place specifically for dementia sufferers. And best of all, two days a week!! Barry asked me which days would suit so I said any two so long as they aren't next to each other. Going to the day centre does wear her out and the following day can be difficult so a following second day at the centre wouldn't be beneficial.
After the consultation we went over to the retail park which houses Tesco, Next, Comet etc. We popped into Next to look for a replacement credit card holder but they don't do them any longer (sorry honey). However Ma did point and laugh at the flimsy undies. Then into Tesco where we bought a few bits and bobs and then Ma wanted a coffee. Off to the cafe... (11am)
Coffee Ma?
Yes please.
Would you like a scone or a teacake or something?
Yes I would. And a few chips.
Scone and chips!!?! I don't think so.
*serving girl being helpful*
How about fish and chips?
Ma: Ooh yes that would be lovely
Peas?
Yes thank you
Bread and butter?
Oh yes
I send Ma off to find a table. I know I know. Watching the faces of several people on different tables as she tried to sit with them was both cringeworthy and highly entertaining.
We sat down with the tea and coffee...
Aren't we having any chips?
Yes they are just coming, they have to order them then the girl brings them out to you.
*fish, chips, peas, bread and butter arrives*
What the heck is this? *pokes fish* I don't want this.
I knew she wouldn't eat it all so hadn't ordered anything for myself and ate the remains.
Not many chips left though.
She wasn't in a great mood when I took in her meds this morning. Fridays are always a bit of a challenge because that's when she has her alendronic acid tablet and has to sit upright for thirty minutes before having anything else. She also has to drink a full glass of water. Which, as you know, she hates. So in between all the burping and whingeing it feels a lot longer than thirty minutes I can tell you! After tea and other meds we set off for the bathroom. She knew we were going somewhere today but couldn't remember where.
Now I hope you are all wearing your Alanis Morissette Irony Hats because when I said she was going to see the dementia doctor she remembered everything about the last time she saw him and that she'd decided she hated him. She last saw him in February. Eight months ago. Why can't she retain the fact that Peter isn't coming after ten minutes has lasped? Every ten minutes. All day. Every day.
So my little blogettes, what do you think happened next? Yup. An hour and a half of truly dreadful behaviour. She refused to eat her breakfast or speak to me, but did tell the dog I was the cow bitch daughter from hell and she was going to kill herself. The dog was supremely unconcerned. I told her it was only a doctor's appointment and perhaps this was a slight overreaction... I passed her the Kleenex box, put her coat on and off we went.
By the time we arrived at the clinic she was in full fluff mode. The occupational health therapist took her off for a memory test and then we went in to see Dr Prasad. The first thing to please Ma was to see Barry sitting in the consulting room and without any preamble she roundly told him off for leaving her in the street. By a process of elimination we worked out that he'd seen her at the day centre in passing and had said hello. But he gamely took up the slack and talked to her about it. Dr Prasad talked to Ma for a bit and once it was apparent that she wasn't able to take in what he was saying, he turned to me instead. I respect him for that though, he didn't just talk over her. He explained that the reason she'd been discharged in Feb was because she had utterly refused to interract with them and that they couldn't reasonably offer support if she wouldn't engage with the team.
She had utterly refused to interract with them because he had told her there wasn't a magic tablet to cure her condition and that she must cease driving immediately. You may have noticed in passing that Ma really doesn't take kindly to being told what to do...
Anyway all that aside, her memory test score was very poor (7/30) and the latest brain scan had shown significant damage so the vascular dx is pretty much set in stone. I was able to get across some of the problems I deal with without Ma really taking in what I was saying and the result is that he has prescribed drugs to help level her moods and a low dose sleeping tablet. But the biggest result is a change to the Pinfold Centre from her current day centre, a lovely place specifically for dementia sufferers. And best of all, two days a week!! Barry asked me which days would suit so I said any two so long as they aren't next to each other. Going to the day centre does wear her out and the following day can be difficult so a following second day at the centre wouldn't be beneficial.
After the consultation we went over to the retail park which houses Tesco, Next, Comet etc. We popped into Next to look for a replacement credit card holder but they don't do them any longer (sorry honey). However Ma did point and laugh at the flimsy undies. Then into Tesco where we bought a few bits and bobs and then Ma wanted a coffee. Off to the cafe... (11am)
Coffee Ma?
Yes please.
Would you like a scone or a teacake or something?
Yes I would. And a few chips.
Scone and chips!!?! I don't think so.
*serving girl being helpful*
How about fish and chips?
Ma: Ooh yes that would be lovely
Peas?
Yes thank you
Bread and butter?
Oh yes
I send Ma off to find a table. I know I know. Watching the faces of several people on different tables as she tried to sit with them was both cringeworthy and highly entertaining.
We sat down with the tea and coffee...
Aren't we having any chips?
Yes they are just coming, they have to order them then the girl brings them out to you.
*fish, chips, peas, bread and butter arrives*
What the heck is this? *pokes fish* I don't want this.
I knew she wouldn't eat it all so hadn't ordered anything for myself and ate the remains.
Not many chips left though.
Thursday, 27 October 2011
It's that time of the week again
Ma was up before daylight calling for me. She was ready for the day centre in her pyjamas, two jackets and a coat with the gold metallic belt once again around her neck. After I'd got her showered, dressed and fed she was on pins waiting for the bus to arrive. And once it did arrive she went off without a backward glance.
Because E & P were coming for lunch I made a chicken, mushroom and parsley pie and prepped the veg and not long after that they arrived. Lunch done I took E to see the garden centre and we had a happy pootle around there for an hour. Simple pleasures.
They've just left, Ma has had a tiny piece of pie and a new potato and is off to bed.
She's just told me she won't be going again next week.
*models for Edvard Munch*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Because E & P were coming for lunch I made a chicken, mushroom and parsley pie and prepped the veg and not long after that they arrived. Lunch done I took E to see the garden centre and we had a happy pootle around there for an hour. Simple pleasures.
They've just left, Ma has had a tiny piece of pie and a new potato and is off to bed.
She's just told me she won't be going again next week.
*models for Edvard Munch*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 |
| Chicken, mushroom and parsley pie about to go into the Aga |
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
See above ^
Warning!! There is a fairly impressive sneeze near the start.
This is Ma talking after going to the day centre last week. Please click on the heading to go to the link.
This is Ma talking after going to the day centre last week. Please click on the heading to go to the link.
Wednesday bullet points
Notes to self:
* Remove all nail varnish from the dressing table and preferably keep in a separate house to the lipstick
* When giving instructions for applying Canasten to the chesticle area remove any toothbrushes nearby
* Make sure Canasten and toothpaste are not near to each other during ablutions
* Explain clearly that a 3 inch wide plaited metallic belt is not a neck decoration of any kind
* When going out for lunch buy just one meal and offer a few chips
* Realise that skills once thought lost can suddenly reappear, although not necessarily to previous levels
* Visits from friends or relatives can affect behaviour for hours afterwards - often detrimentally
* Do not put hot water bottle near pillow without checking for Celebrations or similar
* Do not stand with mouth agape when hearing day centre described as 'this wonderful place I go to...'
* Remove all nail varnish from the dressing table and preferably keep in a separate house to the lipstick
* When giving instructions for applying Canasten to the chesticle area remove any toothbrushes nearby
* Make sure Canasten and toothpaste are not near to each other during ablutions
* Explain clearly that a 3 inch wide plaited metallic belt is not a neck decoration of any kind
* When going out for lunch buy just one meal and offer a few chips
* Realise that skills once thought lost can suddenly reappear, although not necessarily to previous levels
* Visits from friends or relatives can affect behaviour for hours afterwards - often detrimentally
* Do not put hot water bottle near pillow without checking for Celebrations or similar
* Do not stand with mouth agape when hearing day centre described as 'this wonderful place I go to...'
Tuesday, 25 October 2011
So Tired
We had a very disturbed night last night culminating in a major meltdown somewhere around 5am. It started with Ma coming into my room and nearly giving me a heart attack. I'd dropped into a deep sleep after the 3.30 episode so didn't hear her come up the stairs. Once she had my attention we were back in the 'I've been in this bed for hours on my own' territory.
Trying to reason with her is a complete waste of time. She doesn't want to hear logical argument for why she should be there at that time of night, or that this is what other people also do. She's too angry to listen. Fortunately all the doors were locked as usual so no matter how hard she rattled the front door or how loud she shouted, she couldn't get out. It may sound horribly cruel to do this but if I didn't she would be wandering to goodness knows where in the dead of night.
It is now 5pm and of course she wants to go to bed. I've told her she has to stay up until after Emmerdale but I don't hold out a lot of hope. I tried to get her to go for a walk this afternoon, it was sunny and pleasant and slightly breezy. Too windy and cold was the reply. At this rate I'll be organising a treadmill in an effort to get her to do a little bit of exercise and also attempt to tire her out a bit!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well... she's still up (19:20). I decided we should actually go for a walk anyway which turned out fine if you discount how unsteady she is on her feet and her refusal to take my arm. I gave her my walking stick - apparently so that she could wave it about in the air and stagger from side to side. But we walked around the block, the dog was happy and all things being equal it wasn't too bad. I did have to grab her arm a few times to stop her falling but it was mostly ok.
Betsy has phoned to say that she's not well, she had the doctor out this morning and he's put her on pills for her blood pressure which was I quote '200 something over 100 something'. The doc insisted that she shouldn't be on her own tonight - she has two boys, one lives in Wales and the other appears to work 24 hours a day. So... Betty has just arrived in her pjs and dressing gown and will be sleeping here tonight. She suffers from panic attacks and insomnia, poor love and being alone would be too stressful for her.
I'm thinking we can all have a midnight feast at about 3am. I'll bring the vodka.
Trying to reason with her is a complete waste of time. She doesn't want to hear logical argument for why she should be there at that time of night, or that this is what other people also do. She's too angry to listen. Fortunately all the doors were locked as usual so no matter how hard she rattled the front door or how loud she shouted, she couldn't get out. It may sound horribly cruel to do this but if I didn't she would be wandering to goodness knows where in the dead of night.
It is now 5pm and of course she wants to go to bed. I've told her she has to stay up until after Emmerdale but I don't hold out a lot of hope. I tried to get her to go for a walk this afternoon, it was sunny and pleasant and slightly breezy. Too windy and cold was the reply. At this rate I'll be organising a treadmill in an effort to get her to do a little bit of exercise and also attempt to tire her out a bit!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well... she's still up (19:20). I decided we should actually go for a walk anyway which turned out fine if you discount how unsteady she is on her feet and her refusal to take my arm. I gave her my walking stick - apparently so that she could wave it about in the air and stagger from side to side. But we walked around the block, the dog was happy and all things being equal it wasn't too bad. I did have to grab her arm a few times to stop her falling but it was mostly ok.
Betsy has phoned to say that she's not well, she had the doctor out this morning and he's put her on pills for her blood pressure which was I quote '200 something over 100 something'. The doc insisted that she shouldn't be on her own tonight - she has two boys, one lives in Wales and the other appears to work 24 hours a day. So... Betty has just arrived in her pjs and dressing gown and will be sleeping here tonight. She suffers from panic attacks and insomnia, poor love and being alone would be too stressful for her.
I'm thinking we can all have a midnight feast at about 3am. I'll bring the vodka.
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