It has been a relatively quiet weekend, albeit with the usual repetitions and the odd bizarre moment now and then...
Watching Anjum Anand on Saturday Kitchen Ma declares she likes Indian food. This comes as a shocking revelation to me because she's never liked anything remotely spicy and has always been fairly entrenched in the belief that Indian food is quite possibly the work of the Devil, but keen to extend our menu choices I suggest a takeaway curry for tea. I give her a tiny portion each of chicken makhan (mildest thing on the menu) rice and saag paneer and bugger me if she doesn't eat most of it and enjoy it. Can't tell you how much this pleases me.
I reckon we've only discussed her trip to Knutsford next Friday roughly 27 times. And prone as I am to casual exaggeration, this is not hyperbole. The suitcase has been 'packed' (and then unpacked) many many times over.
Watching Something for the Weekend this morning she declared that Louise was married to Tim Lovejoy purely because she was sitting next to him and that Kevin Rowland is married to Denise Van Outen. If you don't watch the show or get the references then I'm sorry - but I found it highly amusing.
Then.... this afternoon we were watching an episode of Jonathan Creek. Usual plot - apparent impossible suicide in a locked room. Towards the end of the programme Ma suddenly began to get extremely upset and started sobbing.
Whatever's the matter?
He didn't commit suicide, I'm sure he didn't.
(me being dense thought we were talking about the tv)
No he didn't - they've just explained how it happened
But he didn't I'm sure he didn't
Who?
Your father.
There was more, but that's the essence of it. I reassured her that no, he hadn't committed suicide, he was in the hospice and that's where he died from prostate cancer. She has false memories about how he died, how she was told when he did and about what eventually killed him so it's always difficult for her poor love. I think only fluffy tv from here on in though. (kill me now)
Just watched Pride and Prejudice - the Matthew Macfadyen/Kiera Knightly version. I love love love that film it is very very high on my top 10 list. Ma enjoyed it but hadn't a chuffing clue what was going on, laughed at inappropriate moments etc. However she did get that Lady Catherine is an absolute bitch and that Mr Collins is an arse (love Tom Hollander, especially when they visit Lady Catherine and he does that obsequious half knee-bend thing, just makes me hoot with laughter every time). My favourite moment is after Mr Darcy has handed Elizabeth into the carriage and you see his hand flex. The finest depiction of repressed desire ever.
Other things... wearing two pairs of slippers at the same time... rinsing a plate badly and leaving it in the drainer so all the leftover mince slides off... hiding her pants... 'washing' her hair using conditioner and then not rinsing it out... everything on inside out... she wanted to go for lunch at the garden centre today but when we got there she no longer has any idea where the cafe is... lots and lots of lipstick atm, it sits well beyond her lip line and if I'm really honest, doesn't look great but do I tell her that? Nope. It would cause distress, so best to leave it be. Oh and the three-tea-bag cup of tea, made in a mug. My heart rate is nearly back to normal again but I'm not sure my teeth will ever recover.
Sunday, 10 July 2011
Friday, 8 July 2011
That Friday Feeling
Ma was clearly awake early this morning because when I took in her tea and tablets she was sitting up in bed with full make up on. Wearing just a vest and no drawers mind you, but plenty of lippy.
She declared she was making her own breakfast but realised that making her usual porridge (my offer of help was refused) was beyond her so she decided on toasted fruit loaf. The bread went into the toaster, she switched off the plug at the wall and then waited. After a while I suggested she switch the plug on, which she did. After another short while I pushed the toast down for her. When it popped up she buttered an untoasted piece and took that and the toasted bread into the living room to watch Lorraine. I quietly took the butter in too and left it by her plate.
I needed to nip into town to do a few bits and pieces so Mavis, bless her, asked Ma up for coffee while I was out. I finally dragged Ma away at about half two and soon after we got back here she fell asleep in front of the tv and slept until 5.
Am now about to feed her home made cottage pie and fully expect her to reject it.
More later... maybe :)
She declared she was making her own breakfast but realised that making her usual porridge (my offer of help was refused) was beyond her so she decided on toasted fruit loaf. The bread went into the toaster, she switched off the plug at the wall and then waited. After a while I suggested she switch the plug on, which she did. After another short while I pushed the toast down for her. When it popped up she buttered an untoasted piece and took that and the toasted bread into the living room to watch Lorraine. I quietly took the butter in too and left it by her plate.
I needed to nip into town to do a few bits and pieces so Mavis, bless her, asked Ma up for coffee while I was out. I finally dragged Ma away at about half two and soon after we got back here she fell asleep in front of the tv and slept until 5.
Am now about to feed her home made cottage pie and fully expect her to reject it.
More later... maybe :)
Non-alcoholic drinks
I've found the non-alcoholic drink I was thinking of (Beverage No.7) and thought I'd share.
http://www.peterspantonbeverages.com/
http://www.peterspantonbeverages.com/
Thursday, 7 July 2011
Thursday
A couple of quiet days.
Yesterday I went out and got some gel pens and we started on her memory book. I think we need to keep to three or four questions each time because she kept going back to them all the way until bedtime and quite frankly, we have enough circular conversations as it is.
I made a fantastic moussaka, probably the best I've ever made and which predictably, Ma didn't like. So she had a frozen ready meal thing which she pronounced 'delicious' :rolls eyes: I'll be doing that version of moussaka again even though Ma has just checked that I'm not giving her 'that thing' for tea again tonight!
Today she started looking for clothes to wear for her weekend away next Friday. So a slightly bizarre fashion parade ensued. My favourite was the black and white shirt and shorts ensemble paired with a pink and green flowery jacket and purple stilettos.
Other than discovering that she's been 'moisurising' her face with shower cream for the last few days resulting in chronically dry, flaky skin, asking me at least 12 times when she is going to Bryan's and when Simon is coming (he isn't) it has been a quiet, calm sort of a day.
Yesterday I went out and got some gel pens and we started on her memory book. I think we need to keep to three or four questions each time because she kept going back to them all the way until bedtime and quite frankly, we have enough circular conversations as it is.
I made a fantastic moussaka, probably the best I've ever made and which predictably, Ma didn't like. So she had a frozen ready meal thing which she pronounced 'delicious' :rolls eyes: I'll be doing that version of moussaka again even though Ma has just checked that I'm not giving her 'that thing' for tea again tonight!
Today she started looking for clothes to wear for her weekend away next Friday. So a slightly bizarre fashion parade ensued. My favourite was the black and white shirt and shorts ensemble paired with a pink and green flowery jacket and purple stilettos.
Other than discovering that she's been 'moisurising' her face with shower cream for the last few days resulting in chronically dry, flaky skin, asking me at least 12 times when she is going to Bryan's and when Simon is coming (he isn't) it has been a quiet, calm sort of a day.
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Shaking those maracas at the Dementia Cafe
Today we had our first visit to the dementia cafe. This takes place in a room next to the library once a month and is attended by dementia/alzheimer sufferers, their carers and various mental health workers. Predictably Ma wasn't keen to go but it didn't stop her agitating to get there so of course we were 30 minutes early and had to wait in the car until it opened.
Once inside we were welcomed very warmly and offered tea or coffee. Ma, a lifelong milk no sugar person, suddenly asked for sugar in her coffee! The lady offering saw my face and just stirred the coffee without putting anything in it, which worked a treat. Several people arrived and one couple knew Ma from old church/operatics days so she was delighted to have someone she knew to talk to.
After about an hour a chap arrived with lots of boxes and equipment to set up some organised musical entertainment which included tambourines, maracas, pom poms and singing. Ma wasn't hugely impressed (hollow laugh) but joined in waving her pom poms and shaking her maracas. After every song she'd say that she didn't want to do any more but as soon as the next song started she was grooving away more than anyone in the room! I was quietly impressed with the whole thing - a mixture of sing along stuff, moving to music and a 'quiz' which everyone seemed to enjoy. And Ma had more sneaky exercise than she's had in a very long while.
The cafe needs volunteers and I offered my time but was told, very kindly, that if I'm caring full time there isn't really any way I can. Which is true but I'd still like to help. However I can help in one way, they are in the process of putting together a recipe book.... I've just emailed five simple recipes (as requested) to Rachel and will happily send more if needed. It's the least I can do.
All in all a good afternoon. I allowed Ma to garner the impression that we went there for my benefit only and she was chatting on the way home about 'Anne's poor husband' who also has vascular dementia. She still believes that she will improve and I don't see any point in forcing her to see otherwise.
Once inside we were welcomed very warmly and offered tea or coffee. Ma, a lifelong milk no sugar person, suddenly asked for sugar in her coffee! The lady offering saw my face and just stirred the coffee without putting anything in it, which worked a treat. Several people arrived and one couple knew Ma from old church/operatics days so she was delighted to have someone she knew to talk to.
After about an hour a chap arrived with lots of boxes and equipment to set up some organised musical entertainment which included tambourines, maracas, pom poms and singing. Ma wasn't hugely impressed (hollow laugh) but joined in waving her pom poms and shaking her maracas. After every song she'd say that she didn't want to do any more but as soon as the next song started she was grooving away more than anyone in the room! I was quietly impressed with the whole thing - a mixture of sing along stuff, moving to music and a 'quiz' which everyone seemed to enjoy. And Ma had more sneaky exercise than she's had in a very long while.
The cafe needs volunteers and I offered my time but was told, very kindly, that if I'm caring full time there isn't really any way I can. Which is true but I'd still like to help. However I can help in one way, they are in the process of putting together a recipe book.... I've just emailed five simple recipes (as requested) to Rachel and will happily send more if needed. It's the least I can do.
All in all a good afternoon. I allowed Ma to garner the impression that we went there for my benefit only and she was chatting on the way home about 'Anne's poor husband' who also has vascular dementia. She still believes that she will improve and I don't see any point in forcing her to see otherwise.
Obi Wan Spinone
Monday, 4 July 2011
Monday madness
The fallout from yesterday's stress is quite obvious - a lot of the conversation today has made very little sense or been confused.
To the dog: Hello sir. Have we got any tables for you?
Me: Golly I'm hot.
Ma: Take your top off.
Me: I don't think so! I've only got a bra on under here.
Ma: Well you can wear my bra, it's in the bedroom.
What would you like for your tea?
I'd like some of those round things. The ones you roll around bread and butter. No not bread and butter. The round things.... I'll have the thing when you put bread together.
A sandwich?
No. Yes.
On the way to bed just now
Ma: I want to put her leg on the thing.
Me: ...... (following her out of the room)
Put through the Planet Audrey Translator (TM) this means: I would like to close the patio doors.
To the dog: Hello sir. Have we got any tables for you?
Me: Golly I'm hot.
Ma: Take your top off.
Me: I don't think so! I've only got a bra on under here.
Ma: Well you can wear my bra, it's in the bedroom.
What would you like for your tea?
I'd like some of those round things. The ones you roll around bread and butter. No not bread and butter. The round things.... I'll have the thing when you put bread together.
A sandwich?
No. Yes.
On the way to bed just now
Ma: I want to put her leg on the thing.
Me: ...... (following her out of the room)
Put through the Planet Audrey Translator (TM) this means: I would like to close the patio doors.
Promising day....
Yesterday we were up early and I thought that as the sun was shining so beautifully we should take a trip to Skipton. This isn't as bonkers as it first appears, Skipton is an ancient Yorkshire town with lots of history, a castle and a fascinating jigsaw of canals. Plus it meant that the Cornishman ended up in Yorkshire. I know, but hey... I didn't mention passports at all.
We got there in good time and after a scull around the 'Farmers' Market' we were relieved of a tenner for 8 dried chillis and two small jars of pickle. Feeling utterly shafted by the whole Farmers' Market ethic yet again we decided to hop on the 30 minute canal trip. This was a really sweet and not terribly informative tank up and down a side canal to the Leeds/Liverpool.
As we left the boat Ma asked for a cup of tea and we were happy to walk straight into the cafe on the canal basin. Tea and coffee were ordered and then Ma suddenly decided she wanted a toasted teacake. Tea and coffee were quaffed and Ma ate one half of her teacake using up both 'pats' of butter. I offered to go and get her more butter but she refused. And then stuffed the remaining half of the teacake up her sleeve.
I know she can't help it and I know it isn't about being rational but it was a really daft thing to do. I had a handbag nearby ffs!
We left the cafe and walked towards the square where a sheep fair was about to start. Ma had taken umbrage when I told her not to put the teacake up her sleeve and was adamant that she was going to sit in the car. Obviously there wasn't a hope in hell that we would let her do that so we went back to the car. No lunch-style loafing at a waterside pub, just a long and rather horrible return with Ma crying a lot and slumping against walls and shop windows.
The tears continued all the way home.
As I was cooking a belated (and unexpected) brunch for two before Simon had to leave Ma went and sat in the garden and within five minutes she was laughing and chatting with the neighbours and had invited herself round for a gin and tonic.
Some days it's not a rollercoaster ride. It's Blackpool Pleasure Beach.
We got there in good time and after a scull around the 'Farmers' Market' we were relieved of a tenner for 8 dried chillis and two small jars of pickle. Feeling utterly shafted by the whole Farmers' Market ethic yet again we decided to hop on the 30 minute canal trip. This was a really sweet and not terribly informative tank up and down a side canal to the Leeds/Liverpool.
As we left the boat Ma asked for a cup of tea and we were happy to walk straight into the cafe on the canal basin. Tea and coffee were ordered and then Ma suddenly decided she wanted a toasted teacake. Tea and coffee were quaffed and Ma ate one half of her teacake using up both 'pats' of butter. I offered to go and get her more butter but she refused. And then stuffed the remaining half of the teacake up her sleeve.
I know she can't help it and I know it isn't about being rational but it was a really daft thing to do. I had a handbag nearby ffs!
We left the cafe and walked towards the square where a sheep fair was about to start. Ma had taken umbrage when I told her not to put the teacake up her sleeve and was adamant that she was going to sit in the car. Obviously there wasn't a hope in hell that we would let her do that so we went back to the car. No lunch-style loafing at a waterside pub, just a long and rather horrible return with Ma crying a lot and slumping against walls and shop windows.
The tears continued all the way home.
As I was cooking a belated (and unexpected) brunch for two before Simon had to leave Ma went and sat in the garden and within five minutes she was laughing and chatting with the neighbours and had invited herself round for a gin and tonic.
Some days it's not a rollercoaster ride. It's Blackpool Pleasure Beach.
Saturday, 2 July 2011
And.... relax....
Hear that?? That would be a choir of angels singing. I have found a full pack of Tramadol in a forgotten bag in my wardrobe. So two Tramadol, two paracetamol and two diazepam have set me up for the day and I am already moving around more easily.
Ma managed to give herself a stiff neck after falling asleep in front of the tennis yesterday so I've just rubbed ralgex into her neck and given her two paracetamol and breakfast in bed.
Glorious morning here. The first lot of bedding is out on the line, the sofa cushions have been turned and hoovered, the kitchen floor is drying and I've just had a surprise phone call to say that the Cornishman is on his way.
What to cook this evening?? Hmm....
Back later - have a lovely day :)
Ma managed to give herself a stiff neck after falling asleep in front of the tennis yesterday so I've just rubbed ralgex into her neck and given her two paracetamol and breakfast in bed.
Glorious morning here. The first lot of bedding is out on the line, the sofa cushions have been turned and hoovered, the kitchen floor is drying and I've just had a surprise phone call to say that the Cornishman is on his way.
What to cook this evening?? Hmm....
Back later - have a lovely day :)
Friday, 1 July 2011
Friday again
Friday seems to have come round very quickly this week. I can't believe it's the 1st of July already... only 25 weeks till Christmas (sorry!).
I've not had a great couple of days if I'm honest with you, back spasms and sciatica make for a very uncomfortable time. Still I'm hopeful things will start to improve soon.
Weds was an odd day probably not helped by me feeling so rubbish. Ma seemed to be quite agitated from the moment she got up and couldn't really settle. She visited the neighbours, walked around the garden, stood in the gateway, wanted to go out for lunch (to THAT pub - finally worked out which one she meant) where she ordered a bizarre selection of food which she didn't eat then a very speedy trip to the garden centre because we needed to rush back for Wimbledon. A lot of huffing about how long the matches were going on for resulting in another scull around the neighbours. Then a big sulk when I went into the other room to ring the children when Emmerdale started resulting in a flounce off to bed at ten past seven. Then up again fully dressed in different clothes at half eight and a tinkly chat about things until finally going to bed at around half nine.
Yesterday was a more settled, quieter day. I went to a Carer's meeting in the evening and was glad I did, despite deciding twice that I wasn't sure I could face the drive. I met some really lovely people, had a KitKat and a cup of tea and came away determined to make a 'Memory Book' with Ma. This seems to be an updated version of a scrap book and is intended to provide memory prompts for the dementia sufferer and a sort of primer for any staff should she be taken into hospital or respite care. So Ma and I will look through old photos and talk about her life and I get to play with glitter, glue and different coloured gel pens. Win win.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two things which amused me so far this week:
Me: (laughing) You're obsessed with the weather!
Ma: (affronted) I never talk about it.
Ma: Oh Murray's on again.
Me: Yes, they play every other day.
Ma: But he's just won the last match.
Me: No Ma, that was Tsonga.
Ma: I'm sure it was Murray.
Easily mixed up I'm sure... they look so alike.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I picked up a king prawn biryani last night on the way home and it was bloody lovely. Cold leftovers for breakfast, hurrah!
No ideas for tonight yet. I'll keep you posted ;)
Edited to add: possibly this http://tinyurl.com/69ysth7 I'm a huge huge fan of Simon Hopkinson.
I've not had a great couple of days if I'm honest with you, back spasms and sciatica make for a very uncomfortable time. Still I'm hopeful things will start to improve soon.
Weds was an odd day probably not helped by me feeling so rubbish. Ma seemed to be quite agitated from the moment she got up and couldn't really settle. She visited the neighbours, walked around the garden, stood in the gateway, wanted to go out for lunch (to THAT pub - finally worked out which one she meant) where she ordered a bizarre selection of food which she didn't eat then a very speedy trip to the garden centre because we needed to rush back for Wimbledon. A lot of huffing about how long the matches were going on for resulting in another scull around the neighbours. Then a big sulk when I went into the other room to ring the children when Emmerdale started resulting in a flounce off to bed at ten past seven. Then up again fully dressed in different clothes at half eight and a tinkly chat about things until finally going to bed at around half nine.
Yesterday was a more settled, quieter day. I went to a Carer's meeting in the evening and was glad I did, despite deciding twice that I wasn't sure I could face the drive. I met some really lovely people, had a KitKat and a cup of tea and came away determined to make a 'Memory Book' with Ma. This seems to be an updated version of a scrap book and is intended to provide memory prompts for the dementia sufferer and a sort of primer for any staff should she be taken into hospital or respite care. So Ma and I will look through old photos and talk about her life and I get to play with glitter, glue and different coloured gel pens. Win win.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two things which amused me so far this week:
Me: (laughing) You're obsessed with the weather!
Ma: (affronted) I never talk about it.
Ma: Oh Murray's on again.
Me: Yes, they play every other day.
Ma: But he's just won the last match.
Me: No Ma, that was Tsonga.
Ma: I'm sure it was Murray.
Easily mixed up I'm sure... they look so alike.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I picked up a king prawn biryani last night on the way home and it was bloody lovely. Cold leftovers for breakfast, hurrah!
No ideas for tonight yet. I'll keep you posted ;)
Edited to add: possibly this http://tinyurl.com/69ysth7 I'm a huge huge fan of Simon Hopkinson.
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