Yesterday we were up early and I thought that as the sun was shining so beautifully we should take a trip to Skipton. This isn't as bonkers as it first appears, Skipton is an ancient Yorkshire town with lots of history, a castle and a fascinating jigsaw of canals. Plus it meant that the Cornishman ended up in Yorkshire. I know, but hey... I didn't mention passports at all.
We got there in good time and after a scull around the 'Farmers' Market' we were relieved of a tenner for 8 dried chillis and two small jars of pickle. Feeling utterly shafted by the whole Farmers' Market ethic yet again we decided to hop on the 30 minute canal trip. This was a really sweet and not terribly informative tank up and down a side canal to the Leeds/Liverpool.
As we left the boat Ma asked for a cup of tea and we were happy to walk straight into the cafe on the canal basin. Tea and coffee were ordered and then Ma suddenly decided she wanted a toasted teacake. Tea and coffee were quaffed and Ma ate one half of her teacake using up both 'pats' of butter. I offered to go and get her more butter but she refused. And then stuffed the remaining half of the teacake up her sleeve.
I know she can't help it and I know it isn't about being rational but it was a really daft thing to do. I had a handbag nearby ffs!
We left the cafe and walked towards the square where a sheep fair was about to start. Ma had taken umbrage when I told her not to put the teacake up her sleeve and was adamant that she was going to sit in the car. Obviously there wasn't a hope in hell that we would let her do that so we went back to the car. No lunch-style loafing at a waterside pub, just a long and rather horrible return with Ma crying a lot and slumping against walls and shop windows.
The tears continued all the way home.
As I was cooking a belated (and unexpected) brunch for two before Simon had to leave Ma went and sat in the garden and within five minutes she was laughing and chatting with the neighbours and had invited herself round for a gin and tonic.
Some days it's not a rollercoaster ride. It's Blackpool Pleasure Beach.