Another difficult difficult lemon difficult day, another two hour sob in the garden and we've only got to 2:30!
I have been accused (amongst other things) of leaving her on her own all the time, not telling her things, not taking her anywhere etc. Simon is in trouble because he hasn't been to see her. Apparently she can't wait until Peter ('my lovely boy') is home so that she can go and be with him. Right this second he's bloody welcome to her.
It's time to reassess the morning meds routine. Up to now I've taken her a cup of tea with three tablets on the saucer and a soluble aspirin in a tiny glass of water. She takes the three tablets with water from the glass by her bedside.
This morning she brought both glasses into the kitchen and told me the drink tasted awful. The bedside glass clearly had the remains of a dissolved tablet in the bottom. No idea if it was one tablet or all of them. So from now on I will have to make sure she takes them properly.
More later. I need to get over being upset at the unfairness of the earlier conversation and also make a beef stroganoff.
My cooking skills are wasted on an 81 year old woman and a 15 year old girl! It's flipping delicious. Eh well, never mind.
Ma is rambling a lot tonight. She's clearly suffering the fall out from all the distress of today. Despite thinking the sun shines out of Simon's trousers she keeps pointing out male journalists on Beeb news as 'potential boyfriends'. I feel 15 again and am responding in kind - surly lip, tutting and murderous thoughts.
I really hope we hear news of a placement at the day centre soon, this will make such a difference for both of us. Ma gets to meet new people (although the thought of her reluctantly playing Bingo wearing all those diamonds is too Hyacinth for words) and I get a few hours off - I'll probably just catch up on House and slob in my PJs...