I get it wrong again.

I don't know how I'm going to get home.

Where from?

The airport.

Are you going away? (jollying her along)

Home. I need something to show me how to get home.

You are home Mum.

Yes I suppose so. But I need to go home.

(rummaging through empty handbag)

There's nothing in here to show me how to get home. I'll take this with me.

What do you need that for?

Well you never know. People are always putting labels on their things at the airport.

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Yesterday Ma got very distressed because she feels that she never goes anywhere. We talked about her weekend away etc. but she still felt that she didn't go out enough. So today I suggested we had a trip to the garden centre because I needed to buy dog food and bird food.

We got there in good spirits and had a sit in one of those swing-seat hammock things that I really would like and Ma also likes. After picking up a bag of dog food we wandered via the cook shop bit (what?? I didn't buy anything ok? Just looking...) and then Ma spotted the cafe and asked if we were going to have something to eat. So she sat down and I organised some chips ('no just some chips') and a coffee for her. After three chips and two sips of coffee she got very ansty and said she didn't want to be there so we left. In the car I got an earful about how she hadn't wanted to go out in the first place.

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At approximately 5pm every evening she has started talking about going to visit the neighbours and despite my best attempts to keep this to a few times a week, she will not be dissuaded. It struck me this evening that the reason for this is that I no longer keep alcohol (well wine or sherry) in the house. She told me last night that the lack of wine was 'disgusting'.I suspect she's off round the neighbours hoping for the odd snifter.

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Ma your top is on inside out.

Oh it doesn't matter.

Well it does actually. You've got aerofoils again like the other day when Jane was here. You need to take it off and turn it right side out.

*whips off top*

Whoa. Maybe a bra would be a good idea too.

(I never learn!)

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Food things:

Utterly lovely broccoli soup made from the Aga stock, broccoli, a small onion and about 2 oz of blue cheese. Gorgeous.

Picky plate day - so slumpy brie, Palma ham, olives, gherkins, capers, pate, pepperoni crisps, hard boiled eggs and anchovies.