Monday madness

The fallout from yesterday's stress is quite obvious - a lot of the conversation today has made very little sense or been confused.


To the dog: Hello sir. Have we got any tables for you?

Me: Golly I'm hot.
Ma: Take your top off.
Me: I don't think so! I've only got a bra on under here.
Ma: Well you can wear my bra, it's in the bedroom.

What would you like for your tea?
I'd like some of those round things. The ones you roll around bread and butter. No not bread and butter. The round things.... I'll have the thing when you put bread together.
A sandwich?
No. Yes.

On the way to bed just now
Ma: I want to put her leg on the thing.
Me: ...... (following her out of the room)
Put through the Planet Audrey Translator (TM) this means: I would like to close the patio doors.