I've had a lovely week away and a fab night last night with the Café girls. Thank you ladies! Don't worry, I'm sure the soot from the fire will wipe off the walls eventually...
Collecting Ma from respite care today and I must admit that I'm quite apprehensive about how it will have affected her. Plus it's very windy and wet here and I can't get the house warm enough which is going to be a big problem if I can't sort it. Ma feels cold even when the house is at tropical temperatures.
A couple of things... I'm going to look at buying some food supplement stuff to try and up Ma's calorific intake, she is eating so little again and I'm getting very worried about it. So if anyone has any suggestions for palatable options please let me know. And I'm thinking of migrating the blog to Wordpress because blogger is a bit pants. Many thanks to Jon for offering to host it on dementiacarer.com, I'd appreciate any thoughts on this too.
Right. Off to get Ma via Tesco. Update later...
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Another shout for my daily photo blog here http://www.blipfoto.com/beeeze Today's pic has gone up.
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Well, we're back. She was fine at the home, delighted to see me and chatting away to the staff and she seemed far more content than the last time I collected her when she was waiting by the door in her coat. The staff did comment on how much she has deteriorated since her last visit and suggested enquiring about 'rolling respite', funnily enough something the girls mentioned last night. So I've started the ball rolling on that one.
While we waitied for her suitcase we sat and chatted in the foyer. Ma asked me four or five times where Peter was and did I know what Beverley was doing. It's interesting though, as we were driving home she could read road signs and bus destinations so clearly some of her cognitive skills are still there. I wonder if some go more quickly than others as a rule or if it is enirely down to the individual.
She didn't recognise the house and was most impressed with her bedroom but has spent the last hour carrying a bundled up blanket, trying to get out of the front door and crying quite a lot. So pretty much back to normal then. I have managed to get her to drink a cup of tea and eat a small cake so I hope this means she will eat something for her tea too.
Possibly another update later. We shall see...
Thursday, 5 January 2012
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
Just popping in to say....
Normal service will resume on Thursday, I hope the new year has started well for everyone.
I've begun a new project for this year called Blipfoto. It's basically a photography blog where you take and post one photo a day for a year. I think that once the novelty wears off it will get quite challenging to find something interesting to photograph every day - at least something you'd be willing to post every day anyway. So we shall see how it goes, but if you'd like to see the first few of my offerings go here:
http://www.blipfoto.com/entry/1621021
It's really worth having a toot at other people on there too, there are some seriously gifted photographers in and amongst. I've always loved looking at photography but my pictures aren't great, however I can happily lose hours and hours sifting through some of the stuff on there.
I've begun a new project for this year called Blipfoto. It's basically a photography blog where you take and post one photo a day for a year. I think that once the novelty wears off it will get quite challenging to find something interesting to photograph every day - at least something you'd be willing to post every day anyway. So we shall see how it goes, but if you'd like to see the first few of my offerings go here:
http://www.blipfoto.com/entry/1621021
It's really worth having a toot at other people on there too, there are some seriously gifted photographers in and amongst. I've always loved looking at photography but my pictures aren't great, however I can happily lose hours and hours sifting through some of the stuff on there.
Tuesday, 27 December 2011
Boxing Day and beyond
Yesterday we had a slow start, I was a little creaky after all the work on Christmas day so a quiet morning seemed essential.
We went up to have lunch with M&V at 1pm and of course they made us very welcome. We had a lovely buffet lunch and lots of laughter but Ma ate almost nothing and had had enough by 3.15pm so we headed back before we got to the pudding *sad face*. Ma went for a rest and didn't get up until about 9.30pm when she had a bowl of porridge and her tablets and went back to bed where she slept until 6ish. So clearly, although she ate almost nothing and didn't really seem to know what was going on, the last two days still tired her out.
Today I have been doing laundry and getting ready to set off for Cornwall. Jane came to see us which was great because I could get on with things without having to stop every two minutes. Jane also brought a lovely scented candle in a glass for Ma for Christmas which she duly admired thoroughly before trying to drink it...
I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to a week off even though it will take me several days to recover from the driving. I'm collecting the younger two of my lovely boys on the way down and I'm very excited about spending some time with them in Cornwall. Hopefully Peter will be here early doors tomorrow so that I can set off at a reasonable time - they were due to arrive back at the airport at 3pm today so am hoping for a phone call soon to let me know what is happening.
He is taking Ma to the respite home on Saturday and I will be collecting her next Thursday when normal service on here will resume. I am fairly sure I'll be posting the odd photo between now and then but I'd like to wish everyone who comes in here a wonderful New Year and hope it brings good things to us all.
We went up to have lunch with M&V at 1pm and of course they made us very welcome. We had a lovely buffet lunch and lots of laughter but Ma ate almost nothing and had had enough by 3.15pm so we headed back before we got to the pudding *sad face*. Ma went for a rest and didn't get up until about 9.30pm when she had a bowl of porridge and her tablets and went back to bed where she slept until 6ish. So clearly, although she ate almost nothing and didn't really seem to know what was going on, the last two days still tired her out.
Today I have been doing laundry and getting ready to set off for Cornwall. Jane came to see us which was great because I could get on with things without having to stop every two minutes. Jane also brought a lovely scented candle in a glass for Ma for Christmas which she duly admired thoroughly before trying to drink it...
I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to a week off even though it will take me several days to recover from the driving. I'm collecting the younger two of my lovely boys on the way down and I'm very excited about spending some time with them in Cornwall. Hopefully Peter will be here early doors tomorrow so that I can set off at a reasonable time - they were due to arrive back at the airport at 3pm today so am hoping for a phone call soon to let me know what is happening.
He is taking Ma to the respite home on Saturday and I will be collecting her next Thursday when normal service on here will resume. I am fairly sure I'll be posting the odd photo between now and then but I'd like to wish everyone who comes in here a wonderful New Year and hope it brings good things to us all.
Monday, 26 December 2011
Christmas Day
In the end I didn't get up until 6, so too late for a slow roasting of the turkey and too early for fast. Being obsessively compulsive about getting on with things I did a combination and it worked perfectly. Note to any Aga users: 7kg bird, top oven for two hours then bottom oven for three.
By 7.30 I was ready to drop something large and heavy in the kitchen if H didn't wake up. But climbing up the stairs in a noisy fashion did the trick and she was completely thrilled by her stocking presents. A lovely half an hour with a cup of tea and an 'Oh my God Mum' every couple of minutes.
Ma was a bit of a handful yesterday morning, probably because I was distracted with things in the kitchen and she didn't like it. Getting her into the shower was a patience testing 20 minutes with a soapy sponge in the face for my trouble. Still, we got through it and I dressed her in some suitably sparkly clothes and sat her in the living room with some porridge. Then I had to prise H out of her hat/gloves/socks and force her through the same routine. Then I shoved the Dyson round, stuck a duster in H's hand and went and got showered myself.
When I got back downstairs it transpired that Ma had secreted a KitKat in her trouser pocket. You would be amazed at how far that amount of chocolate can go. So a complete change of clothes just before the doorbell went. I was actually relieved when I realised it was chocolate tbh.
Mavis, Vic and Andrew were wonderful company and we had a really nice meal. The roast potatoes were a triumph even though at one point I thought I was going to have to find oven chips. Bloody King Edwards - not a Maris Piper to be found in Morrisons. 6 minutes par boil but when I drained them in the colander the sink half filled with mashed potato. Thank the Lord I have never knowingly under catered (and also have half an eye on the requirements for bubble and squeak on Boxing Day) so I was able to sift out more than enough in the end. Ma ate two carrot batons and spent the whole time wandering in and out of the room, trying the front door or going to bed. Everyone included her in the conversation if she was in the room and didn't bat an eyelid when she did some of her usual things.
We played several table games (Who am I?, Call my bluff etc.) which was a lot of fun, manged to set fire to two napkins and the indoor sparklers were a huge hit.
Ma went to bed as soon as the three Musketeers had gone, refusing to eat anything at all. H and I watched Dr Who then she disappeared and I watched Downton. A lovely end to a very nice day.
Sorry about the crappy photos - the camera on my phone isn't very good. Although it used to be ok, so not sure what that's all about.
By 7.30 I was ready to drop something large and heavy in the kitchen if H didn't wake up. But climbing up the stairs in a noisy fashion did the trick and she was completely thrilled by her stocking presents. A lovely half an hour with a cup of tea and an 'Oh my God Mum' every couple of minutes.
Ma was a bit of a handful yesterday morning, probably because I was distracted with things in the kitchen and she didn't like it. Getting her into the shower was a patience testing 20 minutes with a soapy sponge in the face for my trouble. Still, we got through it and I dressed her in some suitably sparkly clothes and sat her in the living room with some porridge. Then I had to prise H out of her hat/gloves/socks and force her through the same routine. Then I shoved the Dyson round, stuck a duster in H's hand and went and got showered myself.
When I got back downstairs it transpired that Ma had secreted a KitKat in her trouser pocket. You would be amazed at how far that amount of chocolate can go. So a complete change of clothes just before the doorbell went. I was actually relieved when I realised it was chocolate tbh.
Mavis, Vic and Andrew were wonderful company and we had a really nice meal. The roast potatoes were a triumph even though at one point I thought I was going to have to find oven chips. Bloody King Edwards - not a Maris Piper to be found in Morrisons. 6 minutes par boil but when I drained them in the colander the sink half filled with mashed potato. Thank the Lord I have never knowingly under catered (and also have half an eye on the requirements for bubble and squeak on Boxing Day) so I was able to sift out more than enough in the end. Ma ate two carrot batons and spent the whole time wandering in and out of the room, trying the front door or going to bed. Everyone included her in the conversation if she was in the room and didn't bat an eyelid when she did some of her usual things.
We played several table games (Who am I?, Call my bluff etc.) which was a lot of fun, manged to set fire to two napkins and the indoor sparklers were a huge hit.
Ma went to bed as soon as the three Musketeers had gone, refusing to eat anything at all. H and I watched Dr Who then she disappeared and I watched Downton. A lovely end to a very nice day.
Sorry about the crappy photos - the camera on my phone isn't very good. Although it used to be ok, so not sure what that's all about.
Saturday, 24 December 2011
Christmas Eve
We had the usual start to the day, but I was determined to stay in bed at least until it was light seeing as it is Christmas Eve. When I got downstairs Ma had replaced her pyjama top with a t shirt which she was wearing slung around her neck, she also had on a big coat and one of H's boots. I made her some tea and straightened her up.
I decided to lay the table for tomorrow and then got on with the veg. Ma had been very restless from the get go and spent all morning trying to open the front door and changing into a selection of five or six different coats. Other things include another attempt to sit in the television, standing in the middle of places - rooms, doorways etc. and the most infuriating of all is responding to me when I'm talking to someone on the phone. I imagine it must be similar to what newsreaders and tv presenters have to deal with when they are talking to someone and getting messages from the director in their ear at the same time. Very disorienting and distracting. As I type this now we are watching carols from Kings and every time the reader pauses in his reading or the choir get to the end of a verse she's up and saying 'Right, are we going now?' Then gets really arsey when they carry on. Other conversation is making little or no sense and today she's having real difficulties finding the right words - often just making them up. Definitely makes deciphering what she's trying to say doubly difficult!
I read today about Marlene and her mother and their experiences with virgin coconut oil and how it has improved mother's cognitive abilities. I will definitely be trying this in the new year.
I've just got to sort the turkey in the morning and cook the veg. There's only going to be seven of us, so hardly anything more than a normal Sunday roast really. I must admit that the Aga comes into its own at this time of year and I'm debating between fast roast and slow roast, but think as I'm going to be up at death o'clock anyway it may as well be a slow roast.
I decided to lay the table for tomorrow and then got on with the veg. Ma had been very restless from the get go and spent all morning trying to open the front door and changing into a selection of five or six different coats. Other things include another attempt to sit in the television, standing in the middle of places - rooms, doorways etc. and the most infuriating of all is responding to me when I'm talking to someone on the phone. I imagine it must be similar to what newsreaders and tv presenters have to deal with when they are talking to someone and getting messages from the director in their ear at the same time. Very disorienting and distracting. As I type this now we are watching carols from Kings and every time the reader pauses in his reading or the choir get to the end of a verse she's up and saying 'Right, are we going now?' Then gets really arsey when they carry on. Other conversation is making little or no sense and today she's having real difficulties finding the right words - often just making them up. Definitely makes deciphering what she's trying to say doubly difficult!
I read today about Marlene and her mother and their experiences with virgin coconut oil and how it has improved mother's cognitive abilities. I will definitely be trying this in the new year.
I've just got to sort the turkey in the morning and cook the veg. There's only going to be seven of us, so hardly anything more than a normal Sunday roast really. I must admit that the Aga comes into its own at this time of year and I'm debating between fast roast and slow roast, but think as I'm going to be up at death o'clock anyway it may as well be a slow roast.
Friday, 23 December 2011
Oh my days!
Well it's been quite a day.
Ma was up just after 4 shouting and yelling as usual and no amount of pleading would get her to stay in bed for any length of time so we spent the next couple of hours with her shouting hello (HeLLo? Helllooooo???) and me telling her to go back to bed. In revenge she removed most of her clothes.
I had an appointment at the hospital at 09:30 so we were both showered and dressed fairly smartish then H was prised out of bed to Nanny-sit and off I went. On the way back I went to collect the turkey which only involved a forty minute queue in the butchers *sigh*
After lunch and the small matter of a lost front door key and a locksmith, stopping Ma from trying to sit down in the television and then leaving her to rearrange the cushions and distribute a number of coats around the house (but not, naturally, the one she usually wears which went missing on Thursday), I cooked more things.
Then an incident in the bathroom meant that I was feeling quite tearful for a while, but I'm ok now.
We are currently watching the Sorcerer's Apprentice which is very surreal but highly amusing when accompanied by Ma commenting on the action and trying to engage Nicholas Cage in conversation...
Ma was up just after 4 shouting and yelling as usual and no amount of pleading would get her to stay in bed for any length of time so we spent the next couple of hours with her shouting hello (HeLLo? Helllooooo???) and me telling her to go back to bed. In revenge she removed most of her clothes.
I had an appointment at the hospital at 09:30 so we were both showered and dressed fairly smartish then H was prised out of bed to Nanny-sit and off I went. On the way back I went to collect the turkey which only involved a forty minute queue in the butchers *sigh*
After lunch and the small matter of a lost front door key and a locksmith, stopping Ma from trying to sit down in the television and then leaving her to rearrange the cushions and distribute a number of coats around the house (but not, naturally, the one she usually wears which went missing on Thursday), I cooked more things.
Then an incident in the bathroom meant that I was feeling quite tearful for a while, but I'm ok now.
We are currently watching the Sorcerer's Apprentice which is very surreal but highly amusing when accompanied by Ma commenting on the action and trying to engage Nicholas Cage in conversation...
Thursday, 22 December 2011
Last day at Grundy
Today was Ma's last day at the Grundy centre. She went off happily enough, even though we couldn't find the coat she was carrying around for most of yesterday, and returned grumpy and tearful as usual. Once again no sign of any sandwiches for her tea ('That's ok, I don't like them anyway') so I gave her some tinned pears and ice cream which she enjoyed. Her ex-cleaner, Emily, called round to say hello and that filled half an hour nicely.
I'ts 18:25 and she's just gone to bed. A bit sobby when we were putting on her pyjamas and I fully expect her to be up again in an hour or so, this is now the pattern. She is starting to sleep for only a couple of hours at a time at the most - sometimes far less. I know this is another common symptom of dementia and is possibly the one which will challenge my sanity the most.
H and I spent a lot of the day in town doing girly stuff - mainly buying some clothes and having lunch in Nando's. My mad magnet was working as usual and I managed to have three bizarre conversations with strangers, much to H's amusement.
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Just found the sandwiches down the back of the sofa.
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19:22 The bedroom door opens.
I'ts 18:25 and she's just gone to bed. A bit sobby when we were putting on her pyjamas and I fully expect her to be up again in an hour or so, this is now the pattern. She is starting to sleep for only a couple of hours at a time at the most - sometimes far less. I know this is another common symptom of dementia and is possibly the one which will challenge my sanity the most.
H and I spent a lot of the day in town doing girly stuff - mainly buying some clothes and having lunch in Nando's. My mad magnet was working as usual and I managed to have three bizarre conversations with strangers, much to H's amusement.
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Just found the sandwiches down the back of the sofa.
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19:22 The bedroom door opens.
Wednesday, 21 December 2011
Getting ahead
04:20am HELLO?? HELLOOO?? IS ANYBODY THERE???
*sigh*
Go back to bed Mum, it's still the middle of the night.
But I need to get a bar. And do the whatsername but I haven't done it yet. I'd rather have that, is that ok with you? And I've found this...
*sound of wrapping paper being torn*
>>Gives in and gets up<<
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So we've done some baking today. Well I've been baking to the soothing backgound sounds of Smooth Xmas on the wireless and the regular clunk and rattle of someone trying to open the front door roughly every two minutes.
Mince pies, sausage rolls, carrot cake, chestnut stuffing, pigs in pyjamas and a white chocolate dream tart done. Just a ham, bread sauce and veg prep to do on Christmas Eve - other stuffing, gravy and cranberry relish already done. Although I confess to blowing up the second carrot cake. I must remember to get the baking powder and bicarb quantities the right way round... And just nipped to Tesco to do Betsy's Christmas food shop for her where it was surprisingly easy to get a parking space and straight onto a till at the end. Clearly around 15:20 is a good time to go.
I think we might have a take away tonight - I'm shattered.
*sigh*
Go back to bed Mum, it's still the middle of the night.
But I need to get a bar. And do the whatsername but I haven't done it yet. I'd rather have that, is that ok with you? And I've found this...
*sound of wrapping paper being torn*
>>Gives in and gets up<<
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So we've done some baking today. Well I've been baking to the soothing backgound sounds of Smooth Xmas on the wireless and the regular clunk and rattle of someone trying to open the front door roughly every two minutes.
Mince pies, sausage rolls, carrot cake, chestnut stuffing, pigs in pyjamas and a white chocolate dream tart done. Just a ham, bread sauce and veg prep to do on Christmas Eve - other stuffing, gravy and cranberry relish already done. Although I confess to blowing up the second carrot cake. I must remember to get the baking powder and bicarb quantities the right way round... And just nipped to Tesco to do Betsy's Christmas food shop for her where it was surprisingly easy to get a parking space and straight onto a till at the end. Clearly around 15:20 is a good time to go.
I think we might have a take away tonight - I'm shattered.
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Busy day
The day kicked off just after 4 as is now becoming the norm. At this time of day Ma's hallucinations are in full swing and she is quite verbal. I can't honestly say that I'm at my best at the time of day so I tend to let her ramble on, I make a pot of tea, surf the internet and deal with regular interruptions every couple of minutes or so.
Barry came this morning and Ma always enjoys seeing him. At least today she didn't walk off halfway though like last time! Ruth popped round from next door after lunch and chatted with Ma while I put up the Christmas tree (I really miss my own decorations). Then within five minutes of Ruth leaving Mavis and Vic turned up. So a busy day.
The main points of today... She still asks every few minutes if we are going yet, rattles the door handle and keeps wanting to kiss Harriet goodbye. Also standing is a favourite thing recently - sometimes in the middle of the room, often a foot away from me or the TV but mostly in the doorway to the living room. And the cushion obsession continues. If she's not playing cushion Tetris she's trying to give me (or Eamonn Holmes) a cushion.
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*nipped out to Morrisions*
Me: Well, that's the veg sorted for the Christmas meal
Ma: Oh lovely. When are we having that?
Me: On Christmas day.
Ma: Oh that'll make a nice change.
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Barry came this morning and Ma always enjoys seeing him. At least today she didn't walk off halfway though like last time! Ruth popped round from next door after lunch and chatted with Ma while I put up the Christmas tree (I really miss my own decorations). Then within five minutes of Ruth leaving Mavis and Vic turned up. So a busy day.
The main points of today... She still asks every few minutes if we are going yet, rattles the door handle and keeps wanting to kiss Harriet goodbye. Also standing is a favourite thing recently - sometimes in the middle of the room, often a foot away from me or the TV but mostly in the doorway to the living room. And the cushion obsession continues. If she's not playing cushion Tetris she's trying to give me (or Eamonn Holmes) a cushion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*nipped out to Morrisions*
Me: Well, that's the veg sorted for the Christmas meal
Ma: Oh lovely. When are we having that?
Me: On Christmas day.
Ma: Oh that'll make a nice change.
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| Christmas tree (not a great pic and just noticed the cushion distribution) |
Sunday, 18 December 2011
Sunday
I've had to add Sunday as a separate day because the photo in the last post buggered up the formatting for some reason.
Today has been more of the same but with the added frisson of going for a nap and taking the bedside light into bed with her along with a glass of water which naturally tipped over and soaked lamp, Ma and duvet. Thank goodness she didn't electrocute herself, I feel sick at the thought of what could've happened. So that's her bedside water glass removed from now on.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of Dad's death and I'm already very tearful. Now that Ma has gone to bed I can cry openly without distressing her. She doesn't understand of course, she thinks he died years ago which is incredibly distressing in itself.
I'm so glad that H is coming tomorrow as it will give me something else to focus on during the day. By the time I've gone to fetch her from Manchester, braved Primark to pad out the inevitable one pair of pants and a T shirt which will be stuffed into her suitcase (alongside the Wii, her graphics tablet, her 3DS and all her pencils, polychromos and other sundry art materials - you know, all the important things) then manhandled the Christmas tree inside and decorated it and fed her a chicken dinner, I shall be tired and hopefully not too emotional. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't miss him dreadfully but I hope that now this year of firsts has passed I can start to remember him without so many tears.
Someone asked on a forum the other day what the highs and lows of the last year had been and to be truthful there haven't been many highs - the birth of my granddaughter, a week in the Lake District and seeing my children in the summer are the main things. The lows have been many, varied and at times very very deep. I hope next year will be much lighter all round.
Today has been more of the same but with the added frisson of going for a nap and taking the bedside light into bed with her along with a glass of water which naturally tipped over and soaked lamp, Ma and duvet. Thank goodness she didn't electrocute herself, I feel sick at the thought of what could've happened. So that's her bedside water glass removed from now on.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of Dad's death and I'm already very tearful. Now that Ma has gone to bed I can cry openly without distressing her. She doesn't understand of course, she thinks he died years ago which is incredibly distressing in itself.
I'm so glad that H is coming tomorrow as it will give me something else to focus on during the day. By the time I've gone to fetch her from Manchester, braved Primark to pad out the inevitable one pair of pants and a T shirt which will be stuffed into her suitcase (alongside the Wii, her graphics tablet, her 3DS and all her pencils, polychromos and other sundry art materials - you know, all the important things) then manhandled the Christmas tree inside and decorated it and fed her a chicken dinner, I shall be tired and hopefully not too emotional. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't miss him dreadfully but I hope that now this year of firsts has passed I can start to remember him without so many tears.
Someone asked on a forum the other day what the highs and lows of the last year had been and to be truthful there haven't been many highs - the birth of my granddaughter, a week in the Lake District and seeing my children in the summer are the main things. The lows have been many, varied and at times very very deep. I hope next year will be much lighter all round.
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