My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Thursday, 7 April 2011

07 April 2011

My beloved Pa died on the 19th December, 2010. Very quickly after his death we realised that Ma's 'forgetfulness' was something considerably more and that Pa had been shouldering this burden for some time. In fairness to him he had asked the GP for a referral to a dementia specialist but sadly this and her diagnosis didn't happen until after his death.

For short periods of time mum comes across as perfectly ok but inevitably something will be said or done which shows quite clearly that all is not well. One symptom of dementia is the gradual increase in inappropriate comments and behaviour, sometimes it is amusing (diso dancing to the musak in Debenhams) but more often it causes a sharp intake of breath (casual racism is currently a favourite). Other symptoms include memory loss, aggression, false memory, confusion and loss of faculties.

At the present time I have taken up the role of mum's main carer and I've created this blog because sometimes you need somewhere to put your thoughts and feelings. I hope that other carers will feel able to come in here to find support and share experiences.


  1. Having just found your blog on Mumsnet, I've come right back to the beginning of your story.

    My paternal grandmother suffered with vascular dementia, which made her very aggressive. I can remember the family laughing at some of the things she got up to. It made a huge impression on me.

    I am concerned that since my mother's death, my father seems more and more out of sorts, inappropriate, doesn't open mail, isolated.

    The GP won't consider a diagnosis until there is a 'crisis'. It's heartbreaking.

    BW to you and your family, I'm now going to catch up with some of the rest of you blog.

    Lesley x.

    1. Thank you Lesley, I hope you find the blog informative, interesting and entertaining :)

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  3. I'm having so much trouble with my mom right now that I searched for a new blog to follow that might have the same things happening and found yours. I read most of the current year's from December through summer backwards, and I've decided to start at the front and see how things progressed. Mom is highly aggitated and living in her school years. She is in a nursing home and we are constantly changing meds. I want to read how your mom's progressed so I get a better handle on what to expect. Thanks for writing, and what are blips.

    1. I hope it offers some insight and help Judy. Blips refers to a daily photographic blog I do at There's a little gadget at the top right of the page which shows the last nine photos I have taken, you can click on any of them and it will take you to that day in my journal.