My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Monday, 16 May 2011

Monday morning Aarrgghs

Yesterday I invited Ma's closest friends round for Sunday lunch. They are some of my favourite people and have been so good to Ma over the last five months. Plus we 'owe' them several meals and seeing as the Aga is working again I thought it was the perfect opportunity to test it out!

I did slow roast shoulder of lamb with roast potatoes, new potatoes, cabbage, carrot and turnip, cauli, blue cheesy leeks, yorkshire puddings and gravy with homemade mint sauce. For pudding I made a chocolate mousse and served it with amaretti biscuits. It was a very pleasant afternoon, we chatted about the old days when we children were small and the parents were party animals :)

Simon left at about 5, Mavis and Vic left at about half five and Ma went to bed at 7 (uneasy look...)

Ma woke me at 05:30 fully dressed wanting to know where everyone was. I got up and made her some toast and tea, gave her  her tablets and started packing her suitcase for tomorrow. It is now 09:10 and she has been crying for a solid two hours saying that I ignored her all yesterday and spoke only to Mavis and that I have been utterly unfair to her.  She is now huddled in the bedroom in a chair refusing to speak to me or sit near the fire in the living room.

I have to go out in half an hour. I'm now worried about leaving her, but also feeling highly aggrieved. These two emotions do not sit easily together...


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Sorry, that comment was full of typos so HAD to be deleted!

    I've just caught up on your write brilliantly and evocatively, so please don't stop! Has the booked helped at all?


  3. Thanks Dee :) xx

    The book is helpful, yes, however I'm not very good at applying the advice to our situation yet. But I'm learning...

  4. Just nipped in to give you a hug and say I hope Ma is more co-operative on your return. E xxx

  5. It comes up with my 5 minute wonder blog name- can't be bothered to alter it so forgive me my slightly iffy nomenclature (OK for the blog but rather highfalutin'
    for commenting......)

  6. I've never eaten roast shoulder of lamb,cabbage, turnips, blue dheesy leeks (is that something that leaked out of a car? lol mint sauce, or yorkshire puddings. I eat biscuits but don't know what ameretti biscuits are. we like to put white gravy over our biscuits or fill them with butter and jam. We may speak the same language, but we obvious eat a different diet!! How interesting to read your posts facing same problems half the world away with different diets, words for things (we say cookies instead of biscuit and we have supper instead of tea) and know that people have the same problems no matter how different their cultures are.

    1. Ahh I love how different our language is it makes things interesting :) You probably will have eaten turnips and yorkshire puddings - you will know them as rutabaga and popovers. Amaretti biscuits are a type of Italian cookie made from almond meal. Blue cheesy leeks are simply cooked leeks in a blue cheese sauce and we call biscuits scones... mint sauce is made by chopping mint finely and mixing it with a little vinegar and sugar.

      Some people say supper instead of tea here too - it very much depends on which part of the country you come from.

      Lamb cooked long and slow is utterly delicious - you should try it :)