Reflective

Yesterday was a very sad day. Ma's older sister who has been on the dementia path for some years died in her sleep. It wasn't unexpected but it is deeply saddening all the same.

Seeing Ma today made me almost unbearably upset. Looking at her you can see that she is following in her sister's footsteps at an almost supersonic speed. She is incredibly thin due to not eating anything much really and no longer holds any sort of conversation which you can follow or understand. She does respond to you when you talk to her (in fact she's very verbal - some things never change!) but she may as well be speaking Icelandic for all the sense she makes. It's not even random words put together, more new words which don't mean anything. I'm not entirely sure that she recognises me all the time, I think she knows that I'm connected to her in some way but hasn't really got a clue who I am, but occasionally she will say my name so not all lost just yet. She has definitely deteriorated in the last 7 days though. Her preferred state is lying down, she clearly doesn't like sitting up and getting her to stand is an almost impossible task.

This new home is ok. Frankly none of them are fabulous but the staff seem caring enough and they do have Jessie, the home's own cat, who loves to be talked to and stroked. Her main carer told me today that they are having trouble getting anything into her (Ma that is, not the cat who is most rotund) and that doesn't surprise me in the least.

She was clearly in pain now and then and the carer (I think she's called Marta, must check that. Very rude of me) said that she's had a bit of an upset tummy. So that needs keeping an eye on.

I'm off to the Trafford Centre with J in the morning to sort out a sartorial problem - the intention is to do a ninja raid when it opens and be away before it gets busy. We will call in to see Ma on the way back.

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Blippage continues. It is not beyond the bounds to say that it is saving my sanity, giving me something else to focus on (oh dear, sorry). This is today's and this is yesterday's I hope you like them :)