My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

Best laid plans and all that...

I love the rain. And I especially love watching it through the triple patio doors in the living room. So after ringing the ward to check on Ma I was sitting here this morning with a pint of tea, a Dick Francis and a view of the birds dodging the rain to get to the feeders, feeling quite content.

At 10:30 the phone rang. It was the Ward Sister. Ma had refused point blank to take any medication whatsoever and wouldn't let anyone near her 'until my daughter gets here'. So I threw on some clothes and got there within 30 minutes of the phonecall.

She was delighted to see me and took her medication without any fuss, then over the next few of hours she had an echo-cardiogram, a chest x-ray and a catheter fitted (had refused to go to the loo since arrival!). I left her at 4pm because my car park ticket had run out and I'd not had chance to get any cash on the way in, plus she was due to go down to surgery at any time and H had been on her own all day.

The ward rang at 5 to say that they had 'run out of theatre time' so she wouldn't be going this evening. On the plus side Ma could have something to eat and drink and Laura said that she was quite happy chatting and laughing but suggested I ring at half 6 to see how she was doing. Which I did.

Inevitably she'd had a bit of a mood swing. This started when Laura mentioned that she'd spoken to me on the phone...

You've spoken to my Bee on the phone??

Yes. She said you had to roll over so we could check you for sore bits. (which she duly did)

*Cue mutinous look and pursed lips.

Well I can't wait for my lovely boy to come back from Spain. When I go there it's always so wonderful. We go for walks and have ice cream and he holds my hand...

Laura said she's in a huge sulk, has clearly forgotten that I've spent 5 hours with her and none of the food they offered was acceptable.

I'm battling years and years of conditioning and gamely attempting not to feel guilty but it's so hard.


Several things today:

Constantly bundling up the covering sheet on her bed.

Joining in with every single conversation going on on the ward! Luckily people are so kind and just let her butt in.

Telling me, whenever a member of nursing staff walked by, that they were from Liverpool.

Very very chatty but making very little sense.


You'll be going down for your operation soon Ma

What? Another one?


  1. Oh Bee :( what a bloody day but wrong as it is you make me chuckle xxxx

  2. Me too! God forbid, your mum does have to have another one! Poor you. :( x

  3. Thanks both xx

    Hopefully tomorrow she will have forgotten her snit...

  4. I know it sounds awful and I don't mean it to - but I do so much look forward to reading your blog - you have such a wonderful way with words, I can 'experience' what is happening, sympathise 100% but you also make me smile. I'm sure you could become a novelist as well as a world-famous cookery-book author.

  5. LOL Chris! It's a long way from a blog to a novel. Much as I'd like to write one, I've noticed a rhythm to my blog posts and suspect that writing 250 word soundbites is my limit. I'm not sure I have the skills required to do it bigger :)

  6. Sweetheart I know what you mean about feeling guilty but you shouldn't . I think it's a case that you feel you want to do everything BUT somethings you just can't . Took ma a long time to realize that . Hope things start to get better soon .

    Margaret xx