My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

Feeling a bit meh

Yesterday was a quiet day after all the excitement of going out for lunch and seeing Peggy on Sunday.

Apart from Ma asking me take the top off a bottle of toilet cleaner so that she could wash her face (eek) nothing much to report.

Today we've been to the dementia cafe again. This month a lady from Pets As Therapy brought her great dane Maisie along, who was lovely. Huge but gentle and so well behaved. Ma had a good chat with Barry and I talked to Joanie, one of the volunteers, about how she had cared for both of her parents. She's very inspirational and gave me lots of suggestions.

In the car on the way home Ma was clearly in a mood. Turns out that I had the temerity to talk to someone else and she could see that 'I was really having a good talk about her' so I told her quite calmly what the conversation had actually been about. We've been home for over an hour and she is still in 'Skipton' mode. Weeping into a tissue and refusing to look at or speak to me.

It gets wearisome sometimes. Hence the meh.

Some good news though. Ma will be going for a full day at the Grundy Centre, complete with minibus collection, lunch and a member of staff with her at all times. Unfortunately it isn't until 22nd of September. Slap bang in the middle of my longed for week away in the Lakes. Will have to see if Peter can cover, if not I'll have to ask for another date.

More later maybe. When I feel a little less downhearted.


Due to the outstanding support of people on here, Twitter and Facebook I feel an awful lot better. Thank you xxx


  1. Oh, hon, definitely a mixed bag. So try and rearrange the appointment, if you can't get cover. The, above all people, will realise how much you need that hol!

    On a personal note, after my own similar experiences with my mum, I volunteered my three-legged dog as a PAT. She was a star! You can have a peek at her on my website if you fancy. GOOD LUCK! Sympathy and empathy, sweetie. :) x

  2. Bless you Sheryl, thanks :) I'll be ok in a bit, it's just hard to switch off the glums sometimes xx

  3. Completely understand. It's allowed, trust me. Do try and get that holiday though. It's hard to switch off totally, but you need a break sometimes. Being a carer is the hardest job in the world. It's hard enough looking after children. This is all backwards and can seem relentless. At least you do smile though ~ and that makes you OK and pretty special. xx

  4. I think you should still have your holiday and rebook the date. It will make no difference to Ma which ever date you pick so do it to give you another break :-)

    Today might be a bad day, but tomorrow will be better, it's the way it goes. After a horrid day yesterday we found 'shop-mobility'for the first time...Yay.. spent the day building up my biceps and she shopped. She's like a different woman today... yesterday I could have happily swapped her, such is life of a carer!
    Keep yer chin up love x

  5. Definitely ask for another date - you need your week's holiday and you also need a day free from caring. It would be good if they could bring it forward several weeks so that you have something to look forward to before your holiday.

  6. They won't be able to bring it forward Chris, I'm told there were 50 referrals this month, which is why the date is so far away.

    I think it will be easier to ask for another date than to try and get her to the one we've been given. As Julie says it won't make any difference to Ma.

    Been up since 5 (too hot to sleep - even my Chillow can't cope!) and enjoying the beautiful early morning. Quiet and sunny, patio doors open and watching the coal tits on the feeders. Happiness can be found in the simplest of things :)

  7. Early mornings are my favourite time... x