My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Saturday, 20 August 2011


06:30 Put the kettle on, let the dog out, fill up the bird feeders, feed dog, make tea.

07:00 Go into Ma. Thank the Lord I bought a mattress protector. Thumbs already throbbing at the thought, I get Ma out of bed and deal with bedding, pyjamas, Ma etc. Put her back into bed and dispense tea and tablets. Seriously consider trading in the kingsize bed for a small single.

07:30 Put washing on. Dust Ma's bedroom, shove the Dyson round downstairs. Have a cup of tea and surf the net for a while.

09:00 Reablement lady, Julie, arrives and Ma is encouraged to get up and go into the bathroom for a shower. Take the opportunity to empty and refill washing machine and peg out wet washing.

09:45 Julie leaves. Ma is clean and dressed and has put herself back into bed. Take the opportunity to go to Tesco.

10:00 Struggle round Tesco with sore, tired and therefore clumsy hands and a wonky-wheeled trolley. The wave of shoppers I travel around the store with include an inept father with an iPhone permanently clamped to his ear who threatens his three children with draconian punishments for the merest transgressions of behaviour (like walking in front of the trolley) resulting in one, two or all three of them constantly in tears at any one time, and an elderly couple who are incapable of moving to the side of the aisle when they have to stop and look for something. Arrive at the tills and find one just finishing someone's shopping and sweep in. Bad move. This is the till with the faulty card reader and the numpty till assistant with verbal diarrhoea. I hear far more about her medical problems than I need to then wrangle the trolley out of the store. /rant off

11:15 Unpack the shopping. Promptly drop two bottles of wine and a jar of pickles on the kitchen floor. Stupid bloody hands. But should know by now to do the shopping before the cleaning. Get dustpan, mop and bucket. More throbbing.

12:00 Make Ma a sandwich and sit her and it in the lounge in front of Love Actually. Forget to warn Ma about the porn movie body doubles. Oops. In true Ma style, 10 mins before the end of the film Ma declares she's off to bed for a rest.

15:25 I settle down to watch Shrek Forever After. 

More later. Maybe :)


  1. you should do the bulk of shopping online it would be easier to do also get harriet to put away the shopping. Ed

  2. I know love and thank you for the comment. Tbh I like to go to the supermarket usually, it gives me a little bit of a break. It was just this morning started from a bad place and just got worse and worse...!!

  3. You are a saint! Don't know how you do it but admire your courage and love. You should publish this blog, it would be an inspiration to others in the same situation. Keep up the good work. x

  4. Thanks Liz x

    Not sure about the saint bit - Tigs hears about all the bits I choose not to post on here, and trust me, with the back story I don't come out quite so saintly!

    The whole point about doing this is to raise awareness for those who have dementia and especially for those who care for them. Already within the short time that I've been writing this blog, I've come into contact with some amazing people and hope to meet many more of them. I'm not sure that publishing (in the traditional sense) is the way to go.

    If you would, I'd ask that you just tell everyone you know who may be helped, educated, or entertained by the the things I write about on here, where to find this blog.

    That would do for me :)

    Bee xxx

    *I promise to let you know if a publisher comes aknocking at my door!

  5. Your blog actually lifts the curtain on what some people prefer not to think about, but it does it in a way that makes you want to know more. The heartbreak is there ~ the sheer hard work, but the humour is too. I'd certainly like to see these compiled in some way and out there. Awareness is so important, for the sufferer and the carer. :)