My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012


An appeal for suggestions please.

How can I cheer Ma up? Everything I say or we do is greeted with morose lethargy and what seems like determined misery. I've tried being upbeat and sort of no-nonsense (Come on! Cheer up a bit - look a the beautiful day/flowers/egg on toast...) I've tried ignoring it but the sheer greyness seeps into everything. When I try and cajole a smile out of her she just stares into the middle distance.

She's now on a higher dose of anti-depressant and has been for nearly two months so I would've expected her to be a bit brighter and cheerier rather than the opposite.

I have to be honest and say that it is definitely beginning to make me feel down too.

I'm waiting for a call back from the GP but was hoping that someone with experience of dealing with this might have some suggestions.

I realise that there probably isn't an easy answer to this, but I live in hope.


We went to see the GP in the end and he took some blood to see if there's anything amiss. Naturally the sore neck which had been bothering her all day (to the point of screaming if I went anywhere near) was a figment of my imagination *sigh* but we've agreed to wait and see what the consultant says a week on Friday and will make an appointment to see him after that.

He's not a fan of the meal replacement route, as we know, and tells me that he's not at liberty to prescribe them any more really so I've decided to try adding some sugar to her tea and will still load any food with as much nutrition and calories as I can. With this in mind she's had a cup of tea with sugar in it and some fruit cocktail and ice cream. And had the lot... So that's the sugar day. Fear not, tomorrow it will be a whole different story. For one thing, she's at her new day centre so I won't be cooking for her!

Other than wearing two shoes on one foot, putting her food on the floor and constantly getting undressed, that's our day so far.


Today's Blip

And this is what I'm heroically NOT eating:


  1. Oh no Bee...I don't know what to suggest.Running out of suggestions is exhausting in it's self when you've tried everything else.The main thing is to look after yourself,you are just as important.xx

  2. I have no real experience of dealing with dementia, but depression's a fairly regular visitor in our house. This time of year's awful, normally, but we've invested in a SAD light this year and it's made a real different.

    I understand that having a bit of this particular sort of light is a fairly common response now. Might be worth a mention to the GP.

  3. I must admit I did think about one of these because and ex-colleague had/has one and swore by it.

    No need to tell the GP (a bit like the coconut oil which will arrive tomorrow hopefully) anything which makes things marginally better has to be a good thing. Proper scientifically proven to be or squiggly off the internet and snuck in. Who cares if it works?