My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Saturday, 7 January 2012

Weekend 07/01

The feeders are sprouting!!! Mild winter anyone?

Another good night. I'm cautious about getting used to it though!

Today has been an odd sort of day mood-wise. She was keen to stay in bed again but after some encouragement she did get up eventually. Getting her in the shower proved to be a bit of a challenge but we managed it after a four hour skirmish and a few soapy sponges in the face. M&V popped round for a quick hello which was lovely and Ma didn't eat an egg sandwich for lunch.

I went out for pineapple juice as recommended by A and gave her some. It was 'too cold' and discarded, but I have high hopes because she kept going back for another sip. Finding food supplements proved more difficult so I may have to have a 'chat' with the GP and 'request' that he prescribes some... I don't hold out much hope of him refusing, do you?

I've just given her apple sponge pud with custard and it was a battle. It filled less than half of a normal cereal bowl but was too much. Add this to half a very small slice of toast and the uneaten egg sandwich and we aren't talking a vast amount of food. I do offer other things - a biscuit with a cup of tea, a savoury biscuit with a bit of cheese or maybe one of the Christmas chocolates but they are usually ignored. It is very hard not to take it personally but at the same time understand that she has no appetite. I spend an inordinate amount of time trying to come up with appetising options.

As I type this she is hunched and grumpy, watching You've Been Framed which she used to enjoy but no longer it seems. Other things today: we've had some tears and a lot of stomping around trying the doors and wearing my laundry (mostly upside down), she's fascinated by my camera and the poor dog had her ears yanked this aftenoon because Ma wanted to 'remove these sponges'...

More tomorrow.


Recurring topics....

Are we going then?

Where is Peter?

Will you take me home?

When is my brother coming to visit?

No one comes to see me.

Reflex response on any subject: Yes probably. As in... I'm making a cup of tea, would you like one/shall we walk around the garden/it's going dark early.

She is particularly difficult at the moment for some reason - is it a full moon soon?



Not started terribly well, although the day didn't kick off until half 8 which was marvellous. It's now 10:10 and I've just hoiked her out of the shower (fully dressed) for the third time. Thankfully she isn't able to actually turn it on but considering how difficult it was to get her in it yesterday afternoon this is on the far side of slightly ironic. In protest she removes her fleece and socks everytime I turn my back and then sits there shivering and rubbing her hands together saying it's cold wearing her wasp-chewing face. Oh how I laugh.

I'm sure I can think of somewhere we can go for a little drive out, I think some fresh air and a change of scene would be a good idea.


Finally got the last of the decorations down and as I'm dragging the box out of the room...

Oh they looked quite nice.

Yes, I love Christmas decorations. Shame they have to come down after Christmas really.

Yes. Why didn't we have Christmas this year?

We did. Put your socks on your feet will get cold.


Phone rings. It's Jane. We chat for a while then hand the phone to Ma.

Hold the phone to your ear Mum, not in your lap.

Putting socks on feet and not hands will help.



After four attempts to climb into the TV I've turned it off. There's a real danger that she will fall and take the television with her. Plus I'm a bit weary of saying that it isn't real/they aren't talking to you/they can't hear you etc. I've tried ignoring it but that just makes things worse, so off it goes for a while. However, seeing Nigella with her old teeth is a bit of a shocker. On balance I think I prefer the ones she was born with.

Unfortunately we didn't manage to make a trip out in the car before her mood started heading south and after the last time we had a trip when she was like this (trying to get out when the car was moving, attempted thumb dislocation [mine]) I didn't really fancy trying that again. So we've looked at some photos, listened to the radio (bad idea), cooked lunch and she's had a nap. She's now up again and very restless, dry sobbing, asking all the usual questions, standing in the middle of the room or doorway and carrying her fleece blanket.

New day centre to look forward to this week, afternoon tea with the Dementia Café and a hospital appointment for me and I'm sure there's something happening on Tuesday but I'm blowed if I can remember what.

It's all go.


  1. Don't know about full moons - though it may be as the youth are completely hyper - I was going to say that it's definitely a mild winter as my geranium is still flowering! Can't believe your feeders are sprouting though, you're so much further north than we are!!!

  2. it's so difficult, when I was nursing, it was sometimes impossible to get those with dementia to eat, we would try anything and everything, but sometimes it's impossible. It does upset me when nurses get criticised for those in their care are 'malnourished' when sometimes no amount of cajoling or encouragement works. Hopefully the GP will prescribe some 'ensure' or the like for you.

    As for bird feeders, the birds around here are not very hungry at the moment, there seems to be very few about.

    Lots of love and hugs as always xx

  3. 'Wasp-chewing face'... Oh, dear, I can actually picture it. Not easily open to persuasion then. I agree with the person above. Sometimes, they just seem to forgot how and why they should eat. Sympathy, hon. Crack open that wine and wrap yourself in a soft blanket! :) xx