My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Saturday, 12 November 2011


Weekends are always a lot quieter in here, less views etc. So I think in future I'll just run one blog post for the whole weekend and add bits to it as and when.


Another disturbed night last night. She went to bed in pjs and pink socks but by the time I took her tea in this morning she was wearing two pink socks on one foot, two black ones on the other. A black shoe and a purple slipper, two pairs of trousers, three tops (all on backwards) and a pinstriped jacket. Otherwise though she was quite happy. After a shower and breakfast she had a bit of a mood for a while rattling doors and trying to climb out of her bedroom window. Then she calmed down and decided she wanted to go to the garden centre for lunch. We got there are about half one and we were back in the car by one thirty five because she didn't like it and didn't want any lunch and how dare I think that she did etc. She then suggested we go to see Mavis... I said no because it's lunchtime - naturally normal societal conventions mean nothing and she was of the opinion that they wouldn't mind. I persuaded her otherwise by suggesting she phoned them when we got back and ask them over for afternoon tea.

So I made some mince pies and five minutes before M & V arrived Ma said she was going to bed.

Once they arrived she did get up again and they stayed for nearly two hours, bless them. Halfway through Ma was going off to bed again but they talked her out of it and basically said the same things to her that I do about going to bed too early. They left just before five and I battled and battled but she is now in bed (18:00). However there are some massive fireworks going off so there's a good chance she'll be up in a minute.


New behaviours recently include separation anxiety, hiding things and an obsession with her bank card.

Separation anxiety means that showering or going to the loo are no longer private affairs. And yes, it does get a bit wearing. I thought it was bad when the children did it but this is a whole other ball game. At least toddlers don't comment on what is happening.

Lots of things have been going missing recently - hairbrush, bits of jewellery, lipsticks etc. Some of it I've found wrapped in lots and lots of tissues and then bundled into a nightdress or jumper in the drawer, but some things have yet to come to light. She does have a habit of putting things down the loo at the moment which is slightly concerning. Plus she has suddenly expressed a need to have her bank card. Luckily I have an old one of hers which has expired so she carries this around with her all the time, she puts it in her pocket and then clutches the pocket to her and often says she would like to 'fasten it in there'. I think this card thing is linked to Dad, almost like a precious photo, because she always mentions him when she's fretting about where the card is. Tonight she was doing the tissue and nightie thing with it which is fine if it makes her feel that it is safe for a while, but it doesn't last for long before she moves it to another safe place. My fear is that she will do this in the dark hours of the morning and I won't have a clue where it is resulting in a major meltdown if we can't find it. Hmm... I wonder if any of my loyalty cards would sub in an emergency? Hmm maybe not Morrisons Miles though.


Mince pies - these have a frangipane topping. My favourite!


Sunday has been a lot calmer mood-wise although her behaviour continues to be incredibly erratic.

She was a bit moody first thing, although nothing like in recent days, and adamantly refused my help getting dressed. I was just making her a cup of tea when I heard her fall. She'd put both legs down one trouser leg and pitched to the floor. Thankfully the only damage seems to be a bit of a bruised coccyx which will be painful for a few days but isn't a broken hip.

Clothes have been a major factor all day, she's changed everything at least 5 times and worn multiple items together, inside out and upside down. The last change of clothes which she's just exchanged for pyjamas included a pair of my father's trousers.

Today's obsession has been carrying around a letter (from the Carers Centre to me so not important), a top off a Bic pen, a lipstick, her bank card and a pair of nail clippers in a tissue box which emptied regularly and checked she'd got everything. But she's hardly eaten anything at all.

Other things: trying to eat with just a knife, cleaning her teeth with her finger (and hot water), thinking that every phone conversation is directed at her and answering accordingly - very confusing and not a little irritating! Especially as she likes to be no more than 6 feet away from me all the time.

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