My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

A getting better sort of a day

Thankfully it wasn't such an early start today, just after 6 and by stoically ignoring the zimmer clattering I managed to stretch it to 6.15. She has taken to layering on the clothes during the night, so this morning it was (from the skin up) pants and vest, nightie, fleece, jumper, another jumper (cue sausage arms) and joggers. Far preferable to the duvet throw and a full frontal it has to be said.

Unfortunately we had a bit of a hiccough with the medication this morning, entirely due to my trying to ring H to make sure she was up and had sorted her lunch. I handed Ma her meds and the shot glass I use to dissolve the soluble aspirin. I was on the phone for less than a minute - it's really to check that's she's up more than anything - and when I went back into the living room Ma asked me if the meds should be slumped in the bottom of the glass like that. In retrospect I should perhaps have added more water and made her drink it, but the thought of that makes me shudder - some tablets are so bitter and also some should only be taken whole.

Anyhoo the upshot of this is that Ma had a wasp-chewing face on for most of the morning and it was entirely my fault. The girls got both barrels when they were helping her to shower and dress.

We managed to negotiate a breakfast request and dispatch without once making eye contact or indeed aiming any verbal discourse in my direction (poached egg and a potato waffle). Most of the morning continued in the same vein until Peter arrived just after 12 then she perked up noticeably.

I took the opportunity to nip out for a bit of time off, but being utterly without a life I ended up in Tesco looking for a TV for my newly rearranged bedroom. Fail. Comet. Fail. Currys. Fail. It's not rocket science, honest. All I wanted was a 22" Samsung LED tv. Nope. However, Currys online had one. Huzzah!


Listening to Ma trying to join in on a conversation is heartbreaking. Just heartbreaking.


I have been fretting quite a bit about my upcoming week away and having to put Ma into respite care. I know that she will hate it and it may damage our relationship for a while. Peter has agreed to be here next Friday so that we both take her, this is in the hope that she won't take it personally against me.

However sometimes you get a lightbulb moment though and this afternoon one presented itself....

Ma: When will they sort this out? *rubs leg*

Me: It just takes time Ma, you need to be patient and...

*lightbulb goes off*

Oh! There's a place you can go where they try and help you get better. Would you like to go do you think??

Ma: Yes that sounds like a good idea, anything to help get rid of this thing on my leg.

Fingers crossed that this works with minimal distress for all of us.

I am SO having my week away in the Lakes regardless *digs heels in*


  1. I know it's a bit of a cliche but your 'before' mum would have wanted you to have that holiday in The Lakes. Thing is you don't just deserve it you NEED it - and your mum needs you to have that time away too. She will be fine - take care of yourself too! x

  2. Thanks Sue :) I know and hear what you are saying but it's so hard not to feel guilty. However, the Cumbria Food Fair is calling me so obviously I have to go. It would be rude not to...