My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Friday, 16 September 2011

Signing off

I'd be lying if I said today hadn't been a bit traumatic but it's done now.

Ma was fine until she realised we were leaving her there, then it all kicked off. In the end we just had to kiss her goodbye and leave. And of course I cried. But I've just spoken to the home and they tell me that she's quite settled, chatting to people and has eaten hotdogs for tea. Excuse me while I faint with astonishment. I've never known Ma to eat a hot dog. Mind you it's Bingo tomorrow night and I've never known her do that either. This could be a week of discovery for her! I do hope so. I hope she settles in properly and enjoys having new people to talk to. Plus of course, if she does enjoy it there's a chance I could do this again at some point. Here's hoping.

A message for any family reading this who are planning on visiting. There's no restriction time-wise, you can go whenever you like. I warn you though that she will want to be taken home, I guarantee it. With that in mind, although you are free to take her out for the afternoon etc. I would counsel against it.

Lily was about as impressed with the kennels as Ma was with the respite home. She entered the building happily enough but walking into the kennel block was a bit intimidating for her. As soon as the door opened the occupants started barking and it was quite overwhelming. I had to pick her up to get her into her kennel but once inside she went off to investigate her own run quite happily enough. I hope she's ok though, she's 10 years old and this is her first time in kennels.

I tell you, I'm wrung out with all this emotion.

Other things... Pete and I finally managed to register the LPA with the bank, so that should make bill paying etc. a lot easier.

It has rained so hard here this evening we lost the satellite signal for twenty minutes. Glad we're not camping in the Lakes next week.

One of my front teeth is slightly longer than the other. The light from the laptop screen is reflecting off this longer bit. I look like I'm channelling Nanny McPhee.

I have a case to pack and the #FridayTwiz to look forward to. Better get on with it then.

See you on the 25th or thereabouts if I don't see you on Facebook or Twitter.


  1. I found your blog very moving. My stepfather died of vascular dementia last november, after what had been a terribly difficult year, especially for my mum. Dementia is a cruel and horrible illness. I don't know whether it would be of any help(you've probably read loads of stuff already) but I wrote a book called 'when someone you love has dementia'which was published last year (just before my stepfather was diagnosed!)and won a 'highly commended' in the BMA book awards. It's more about coping with caring than about the illness itself, but it may be useful. You should be able to get it from the library. Or if you did want to buy it, you can get it from amazon (directly or via my website wish you all the very best with this difficult journey.

  2. My heart goes out to you. We had to move my MIL into a home & it was so hard, especially when she was lucid in patches at the beginning. We loved her soooo much (she was a Mum to me, not an in-law) Now trying to recover memories of her as she really was, not as she was for her last 4 years.
    The descent into dementia is a rocky road for all concerned :'-(