My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Friday, 30 September 2011

Where's D Ream when you need them?

The dulcet tones of the burglar alarm going off in the small dark hours of the morning will get you down the stairs pretty rapidly I can tell you. Having told Ma a couple of times to go back to bed during the night she decided to go and talk to next door instead. Since then (approximately 6ish) she has been in constant tears. Now I'm not entirely sure why - other than I'm horrible and it's all my fault, naturally - but the gist of this behaviour seems to be because she spent 'all night' in bed. On her own.

Well bugger me.

Anyway, she is now kissing the photograph again and is going to pack a bag and go to her friends. Fine. I have the front door key so no doubt the sound of several klaxons will alert me when she departs.

She's refused breakfast which is probably a sensible thing in the interest of self-preservation.


More later no doubt.


The storm has passed (09:32)

Will you have some breakfast?

No *sitting in a huddle in the bedroom*



Poached egg?

No. Not a poached egg.


Yes ok

Will you have it in the living room?

No I'll have it here


Ok its ready I've put it in the living room

Thank you

*eats the lot*


I finally persuaded Ma to sit in the sun for a while. Note the stripey pj bottoms under the trousers and although you can only see two tops (one only half pulled down), there is another one under there...

This is after another huge crying spell brought on by me going to the supermarket. Last time I went she hated going with me, so this time I explained where I was going and that I would be a while. Despite racing to, around and back from Tesco in exactly one hour she went into meltdown. More tears, hair pulling, accusations and kissing dad's photo etc.

However at one point she told me that 'the girls' at the day centre yesterday were 'absolutely lovely'.

You really, honestly, truly, couldn't make it up!


  1. I do hope writing this helps release all the frustration. As I have to say reading it often cheers up my afternoon, your turn of phrase is something else. If you ever need inspiration for your next book, I think Suss could lend a hand...

  2. Hahaha! Suss has had enough influence on those in my life already thank you very much :)

    It does help. And I want to make it clear to anyone who reads it that I'm not writing this so that I can bitch and moan, I'm trying to show how it is, warts and all. Because although it's probably the hardest thing I've ever done (yes even harder than bringing up four children), there is an undercurrent of humour to lighten the load :)

  3. No-one would ever think you were writing this to "bitch and moan", Bee. I only looked after C's aunt for 6 months and that wasn't living in and I couldn't believe how difficult it was (although I haven't raised children either!). Your humour is wonderful and if you don't turn this all into a book, I shall haunt you till you do! xxx