My mother was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2010. This is a blog about coming to terms with her absent mind.

Monday, 5 September 2011

Weekend update

So the weekend went in a blur of activity. Lots of gate action on Saturday and lots of tip action yesterday. We managed to fill the van twice (note use of the Royal ‘we’) just with stuff from the garage and I’m delighted to say that it doesn’t appear to look any different.

Amongst the sundry items** disposed of: a double mattress, two white garden tables, one Rover roof rack, 47 assorted empty tins of paint, a box of ancient wires, a box of old locks, a carrier bag filled with half burned candles, two broken teak coffee tables, 3 cubic meters of sticky Tupperware, the entire contents of the pan cupboard, a lot of old plug sockets, bald brooms, dusty silk flower arrangements, a box full of cracked or chipped cut glass, way too many ornaments for anywhere… you get the picture.  

The finest object to leave the premises was the coffee table whose onyx top was supported by the tails of four up-turned gilded carp. The matching onyx table lamp swiftly followed. (Sadly no tattoo murals though, Gill. I had high hopes that my dear old Pa might have been hiding one behind the old army blankets in the boiler room but sadly not)

** I may have exaggerated slightly at some points.


Today was recovery day. My joints were in revolt after all that activity so just some gentle kitchen cupboard cleaning and Simon did all the high up stuff for me above the top units etc. Well, he’s rather tall and that’s jolly useful. After he left I did a bit more and then sat with Ma for most of the day because she’s been feeling a bit abandoned. 

It’s tricky though, the jobs desperately need doing and it does take up a lot of time but constantly having to pop back in and out to check she’s ok just makes it take even longer.  When I tell you that she get now gets anxious and thinks she’s been left on her own when I go to have a shower, perhaps you can appreciate why I have to keep reassuring her.

Early this afternoon she asked if we could call Mavis which we duly did. The upshot of the convo was that Vic would drop Mave off because he had some jobs to do and then collect her later. Ma took this to mean that she was going up to theirs…

*clatter of zimmer on the hall parquet*

You ok Ma?

I’m just getting my nightie.

Umm… why?

Well I’m going to stay at Mavis’s

No you aren’t love, she’s coming here

Yes she’s coming to collect me

Sorry but no, she’s coming here for a cup of tea and a natter

Oh ok. *goes back to chair*

Thirty seconds later…

*clatter of zimmer on the hall parquet*

Ok Ma? (still cleaning cabinets in kitchen)

Well, not sure this *plucks at fleece* will be enough, I’m getting a coat

Mavis is coming here Ma, she’ll be here in a minute

Yes and then I’m going to stay at theirs

Repeat and fade


Ma has eaten really well today – a slice of Best of Both with butter and jam, oven chips, Heinz beans with sausages (2) and onion rings then tinned fruit salad and cream plus a Horlicks. I know I go on about this obsessively, but it makes me feel better when she eats something approaching a reasonable amount of food.


Today is my gorgeous son George’s 18th birthday. I’m sad that I’m not with him today but to be perfectly honest he started back at college this morning on his new full time musical theatre course, plus out with friends so he probably hasn’t even noticed that I’m not there. Especially as I’ve been bombarding him with texts as per usual.

It would also have been my equally gorgeous Dad’s 83rd birthday today. I am typing this with tears streaming down my face, I miss him SO much. If you have one, please raise a glass to one of the finest men you could ever have wished to meet.


(Whispers quietly that Ed’s partner Hayley’s waters have broken so there could be another family birthday to celebrate on this day. Wouldn’t that be a lovely thing?)


  1. Are you sure your mum isn't related to my in-laws? Sure sounds like their garage... Raising a glassto your wonderful pa. Xxxx

  2. ....and me too, Bee and I'll be raising a glass to my Dad who I miss every day....he'd be 105 if he was alive....(birthday on 31st Dec!) xx

  3. That is my garage! And, yes, I will drink to my dad Enjoy wetting the baby's head, Bee. You deserve that one... or two. ;) x

  4. Please excuse typos, migraine responsible, not wine... yet! :) x